Post # 1
i could go undercover for this, but personally i never really trust the “im a regular bee undercover” thing and i tend to be less inclined to answer as i wonder if theyre trolls.
so background – i love my fi to distraction and we have no problems sexwise. ideally id like it a bit more often than once (or sometimes twice) a week but honestly its been the same in my previous relationships, i have a very high drive. but anyways, since its awesome when we have it and im not tempted to look elsewhere…i dont see it as a problem. but hes always joked that i want it more than him and he knows that i often um…take care of myself, on the days that we dont do anything
i had a moment where i spoke without engaging my brain. we saw an advert for a for a program of a guy with multiple wives (i dont *think* it was sister wives, but something very similar.but could have been since we live in mexico and the spanish translation of program names is often different from the english). and he was saying that itd be hard to imagine having multiple woman, and in a teasing way said “but what would you say if i wanted lots of wives hey?!” laughing
and heres where i screwed up. i meant it as a joke, without mean undertones but it came across horribly “baby you can barely keep up with me, i dont think youd manage other women too”
oh bees. it was one of those moments so silent that you can hear crickets. and he looked really uncomfortable. i genuinely didnt mean it as a criticism, and when he asked me, i said (and meant it) i was perfectly happy with us. but eughhh i regret it. it was supposed to be as much a joke as the idea of him wanting lots of women (as hes always told me he’s a one man woman and he would never look at other women)
this was yesterday. and he’s fine with me now, but im kicking myself and dwelling on the fact that he looked like i kicked him in the balls =(
Post # 3
- Wedding: August 2013 - Brookfield Zoo
Ooo that was clearly a joke though, and he was asking for it with his joking about wanting multiple wives. Don’t beat yourself up about it!!
Post # 4
@newname_99: I know how you feel because i have went through that with my FI. My drive is VERY high and he knows how i am. I mentioned something silly like that one day when we were watching something and he looked same way 🙁 but i apologized and told him it was meant as a joke . He got over it and we moved on because we are both great with what we have. I’m sure he won’t dwell on it long, just let him know you love what you and him have together and you were just joking with him
Post # 5
He is not upset with you, or at least he shouldnt be. Its not a secret that you have different sex drives. He probably just wishes things were different.
I could imagine my husband saying what you did to me and my reaction would to be to feel a little bad that I couldnt be more sexually active. Maybe even try for the next couple of weeks to spice it up.
Post # 6
Actually when I first read what you said to your man, I didn’t read it as an insult..! I was taking it to mean that you’re the super horny one and that he’s not necessarily the one to blame haha! 😉 Don’t feel so bad – I’ve said much worse.. and hey, we’re still very much together. If you’re gonna spend a lifetime with one another, you might as well get used to being super honest with one another.
Post # 7
i think its partly the whole macho mexican culture. i mean here in mexico, the guys hang out (sometimes at our house and i listen in haha) and its the whole men want sex, women dont so much, the women are more than satisfied type of thing. i mean, i dont ask about fi’s exes but the fact he expresses surprise that i initiate it and im not just basically lying back and thinking of england (or rather mexico :P) speaks volumes to me. but then he was also pleasantly surprised that BJs are on the table and not some begged for anniversary type thing
@romantical: thats how i intended it!! and then the look on his face made me think “uh oh, thats not a good joke to make” haha
@mariegerbasi: it was just that the reaction was to start a serious conversation about my lack of satisfaction in the bedroom and it wasnt the intention. There are definitely cultural differences though, like in England its common to say stuff like “dont be stupid” or “youre such an idiot”,,,but affectionately, and apparently in mexico its much more harsh/insulting