Post # 1
My FI proposed to me the week before he deployed for four months. I’m going out to see him in a month, and that’s when I expected my proposal. He said he wanted to do it before he left so I could start planning, and so that I wouldn’t be nervous through the trip.
However, since he left so quickly after the proposal, it robbed us of an engagement party. His mom and I agree that it’s a bit of a let-down that we didn’t get an engagement party right after. (such is military life)
Would having the engagement party when he returns in late September be too late? I just feel like I’m missing out on reveling in our engagement together (until he returns), and I really would like to have an engagement party with some of our close friends and family.
Post # 2
being engaged and planning the wedding is basking in the engagement glow, the party is to (not in a rude way) rub it in to your friends & family and get presents. with the additional shower & wedding gifts, i feel engagement parties are kind of tacky. by now, and by September, everyone knows you’re engaged and has congratulated you. they may be less than excited to come to a party to do it all over again. maybe do a welcome home bbq and enjoy the moments then but hosting a specific party to say “were engaged,” may be reaching by then. IMO.
my sister’s husband deployed 2 weeks after the wedding for 10 months and he had to convince her it would be uncool to host a follow up wedding party because she said she would miss the newleywed moments and having everyone ooh and aah over them as a new married couple. but like you said, thats the military life.
Post # 3
futuremrschristensen: My husband and I had a delayed engagement party due to family illness (his father was diagnosed with cancer and had to undergo chemo). I think it all comes down to how you host the party. We did a very casual get together and invited many of our family and friends, but we didn’t register for gifts and told everyone just to come and have a good time (we didn’t do any showers). To be honest, I’m so glad we had this party because his father ended up passing before our wedding, but at least we were able to celebrate with him before he passed.
Post # 4
I don’t think that’s too late at all, especially considering your situation and circumstances.
We had our engagement party a year after my husband proposed. My sister in law really wanted to throw us one right after the engagement, but got busy and it fell by the wayside (and I wasn’t really into it to begin with). Then a year later my MOH insisted she throw us one since we were having such a long engagement so we just went with it. It was only immediate family and the bridal party and my mom and MOH cooked. No gifts either. It just depends on how you go about it!
Post # 5
I don’t think it’s too late. It’s your engagement and you should get to celebrate that! And especially so since he was deployed. Tell your FI thank you for his service!
Post # 6
futuremrschristensen: I understand where you are coming from – FI is out of he military now luckily, but we still have tons of friends in the military. Maybe this question is silly, but do that many people really have engagement parties? I didn’t have one, and none of my friends have had one (and most of my friends are married). I guess I don’t consider it part of the engagement experience, and seems like another party to ask for presents, which can be awkward. But if you have your heart set on one, I think you should have one with close friends and family and do whatever you are comfortable with.
I do think andixlyn: ‘s welcome home barbeque sounds like a nice way to celebrate with everyone though! Other options to celebrate with your FI could be to visit venues, go to a cake tasting, visit a bridal show, look at flowers at a flower market, register for gifts, look at wedding bands, and do fun engagement/wedding related activities.
Post # 7
andixlyn: I agree. My husband is also in the military and he deployed immediately after proposing. I might be biased bc I would have never had one and my friends don’t either. However, if you really want one then go ahead and throw yourselves one! People will know the delay was because of deployment.
Post # 8
futuremrschristensen: I didn’t get one either but I don’t really miss it. My sister had one and given our situation, I was fine without it (although my mom still mentions that we didn’t have one and the wedding is only 16 days away now). Mr. S had PCS’d to another state and flew home one weekend to propose, we had about 2 days together and then he had to sign back in on post so… no party.
But, to each their own. I don’t regret not having one, but if you want one, plan one for when he returns from deployment. 🙂 People will understand.
Post # 9
I personally think it’s fine, but we were given an engagement party in early May after being engaged last October! To be honest, it was more of a family party for my partner’s family (my family lives 3000 miles away) and her mother’s friend really wanted to throw one for us, but schedules were so hectic that it just did’t happen for months. We didn’t have any wedding showers or other parties and the registry information was put on the invitation without my knowing (I would have preferred a no-gift affair), but you really can’t dictate that stuff when all is said and done. None of our friends could come but we hadn’t seen most of her family and many of the people there since we were engaged, so it was still a nice affair to celebrate. I say go for it!
Post # 10
futuremrschristensen: Absolutely not! You will still be engaged, won’t you? I say go for it!