Post # 1
Just curious how many Hive members have religious beliefs or lack thereof/personal philosophies that are different from how they were raised or what their parents/extended families believe – how did you approach both the initial change or conflict, and how did it affect your wedding?
Post # 3
Brought up Catholic, decided when I was about 14 it wasn’t for me, from then until I was 16 I still had to go to mass every week but my parents were pretty good about it. I don’t remember the last time I was in a church (probably for a wedding I guess). Darling Husband isn’t religious at all so it didn’t affect our wedding, my parents would never expect me to do something I didn’t believe in. I’m sure my grandparents would have liked a church wedding though 🙂
Post # 4
Oh goodness yes. Both our families and quite religious (Christian), and both of us are atheists.
His family is hardcore Christian. As in church is more important than family, no matter what. It affected our wedding by us not telling them we are engaged. The sooner they know the more chance they have of messing stuff up and forcing us to do things their way. After everything is arranged and it is too late to change, then they will be told. Harsh? Yeah probably, but honestly, it is the only way we will get what we want, otherwise we will be married in his families church which we do not want at all. Also, they hate me because I turned Fiance away from God, blah blah blah. I didn’t, it was the lies and deceit he was smart enough to see happening in his church which opened his eyes and made him think about what he was being told.
My family is also Christian but are much less psycho about it, and are much more open to us living our own lives, without damning us to hell for whatever reason.
Hopefully we will get the wedding we want without TOO many dramas. We are expecting some of course, but if anyone doesn’t like what we want to do, I have no problem at all if they don’t come. If they can’t respect our wishes then, quite frankly, they can rack off.
Post # 5
My family members are mainstream Protestants and liberal Catholics, but I’m an Orthodox Christian. DH’s family members are practicing Catholics and nominal Buddhists, but he is a lapsed Catholic.
Getting married in my church was really really important for me….not to mention the fact that I wouldn’t be an Orthodox ‘in good standing’ any more if I didn’t marry in the church…but neither of our families would have felt comfortable in an Orthodox church.
Therefore…we’re having another wedding (all together 3 ceremonies in 2 countries+ legal signing). It’s actually on Sunday in a small chapel with my church community. It’s goind to be very small and focus mostly on the sacramental ceremony without any kind of reception. I don’t think what we did is for everyone at all…if I lived in the same country as my family, I would have tried to incorporate everything into one ceremony, but we had a very special and unique situation, so this worked out best for us.
Post # 6
I was raised without religion due to my mother’s issues with the Catholic church while growing up. I’m an atheist because of this.
My Fiance was raised Methodist and was actively involved in church until something came up and his family was basically shunned by the church community. His parents still attend (another church). He was turned off religion by that and now considers himself agnostic.
I grew up not wanting a church wedding, luckily I found a guy who agreed. We’re getting married at a resort in Mexico and his mother asked recently if we’d have a protestant ceremony (we had been talking about a Catholic wedding we’d just been to) and Fiance told her we would have a Justice of the Peace. I think she was a little taken aback but she didn’t say anything.
Post # 7
My family is all catholic and my brothers have all went through the catholic kid stuff like confirmation, etc. My parents got divorced around the same time that I’d be doing that stuff, which I think helped me, but I was adamant about not going to church or the motions of catholicism. I’m thankful they didn’t force me b/c everyone I knew growing up was forced into it and just went through the motions. Seriously, only one person I knew that went to church actually was spiritual – everyone else just did the no meat on friday show and when they were grown, probably never set foot in church again. Except to get married and perpetuate the cycle with their own kids ;-). Gotta keep the local church in business..
Post # 8
My mother is Catholic, my father is Baptist. I got baptised and confirmed in the Catholic church (in one shot) when I was 14, basically to make my grandmother happy. My parents don’t attend church and neither are particularly religious, though my mother definitely has a healthy dose of Catholic guilt 🙂
FI’s father is Catholic, his mother is Jewish. Fiance had a bar mitzvah and goes to temple on the high holidays, but is not super-religious. His family celebrates Christmas and Easter as well as the Jewish holidays.
Our basic beliefs are pretty similar so it hasn’t really affected us. We want to have an inter-fath rabbi officiate our wedding and would raise any children we have Jewish. My family has been asking a lot of questions about this and acting a little surprised, but I don’t think they care that much.
Post # 9
My mother is Greek Orthodox, my father is Catholic, and I was raised Catholic. I am still a practicing Catholic.
FI’s parents are both Jewish and he was raised Jewish. Unfortunately, he was turned off by certain things about Judaism, so as much as his parents hate this- he doesn’t really identify with it and is not super religious. I think he appreciates the cultural aspect of it more than the religious one.
While our religious beliefs are not similar, it hasn’t really affected us. It’s been more of an issue with his parents than it is between Fiance and me as a couple. Fiance and I celebrate both religions and holidays. Since I am the more religious of the two of us, if we have kids, they will have to be raised Catholic. I would have no problem with them being raised Jewish, however, I, as their Catholic mother, cannot be responsible for their Jewish upbringing. If Fiance is not going to be responsible to make sure they are raised Jewish, then they are going to be raised Catholic- but obviously exposed to both religions.