- 5 years ago
Hi everyone! I’m new here, been hovering around and I love this supportive hive. So I thought I would ask for some advice. By The Way – I’m not getting married in 2016, I wasn’t sure how to sign up without putting a wedding date in (But who knows?!)
I’ve known my best friend for 16 years. Lately, I feel completely unsupported. We communicate primarily through text – this is how it’s always been – although if something major has happened with her, I call her to make sure she’s okay.
This past week has been really tough, my SO was badly injured helping a neighbour. As a result, we’ve been the the doctor many times and he’s been off work. I messaged her through the week and told her what was happening. It took her 3 whole days to even reply. A few days ago, the doctor was very concerned about a possible life threatening complication, had to take him for an emergency ultrasound, I messaged her as we were waiting for the results. I’ve heard absolutely nothing from her. I guess I have no right to be surprised as when my SO was king hit earlier in the year, I told her what had happened and how heartsick I was, and having trouble getting the image of finding him like that out of my head. This was around the time there was a spate of fatal king kits. She was not really there for me at all. And also, I had some bad test results and had to see a specialist and she never asked how it went despite knowing when it was all happening.
Also, not all of my messages are bad news, it’s not like I’m dumping her with all of my problems. But I’ve been on a rollercoaster for the last week. I feel like my colleagues have been more supportive, and my parents have been calling every day to see how he is.. There’s things I haven’t even bothered to tell her (like me and my SO are moving in together next year – huge news).
I just feel like when something has gone wrong for her, I either write back to her straight away or call her, just to touch base and make sure she’s doing okay. Am I asking too much by expecting the same kind of support in return?
She has never particularly warmed to my SO, we have had our fair share of problems and I regret confiding in her – although I don’t think it’s fair to base your opinion of someone purely on what one angry party has said after a disagreement. She’s told me things about her husband also, but that would never make me act standoffish towards him.
My SO and I were at a stale point in our relationship (yet I stopped confiding in her long ago), until I went on an overseas holiday for 10 days without him. We missed each other so much, he had even kept a diary of how he was feeling without me, and how much my phone calls and messages had meant to him while I was away. Things have been absolutely blissful and I’ve never been happier. But I feel I can’t share this with her – it just feels like she doesn’t care.
Looking back, I just feel angry. There were rumours that she was seeing the man she is now married to – and I asked and asked. She just denied, denied, denied. It was only when they got engaged that she confirmed they were together (obviously!). Things like that just make me think, maybe this friendship isn’t even worth it.
What do you lovely ladies think?