Best friend and I are no longer speaking because of the wedding.

posted 3 years ago in Emotional
Post # 2
4649 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

busybeebee:  Unfortunately weddings can get political and it sounds like yours has. “If I’m not in your wedding, I’ll be mean to you.” Honestly, you might not need a friend like that. It’s sad, though, since you’ve been friends for so long.

Post # 3
567 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

busybeebee:  I have decided that women can be the strangest creatures. It’s unfortunate that she hasn’t been there for you and even more so that she doesn’t seem to happy for you. Hope it gets better.

Post # 4
42101 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

busybeebee:  If she has not been supportive of your relationship, is this behavior really a surprise to you?

You have a right to choose your wedding party. She has a right to her feelings.Unfortunately, weddings can be a great strain on friendships.

Post # 5
179 posts
Blushing bee


busybeebee:  Sorry to hear that your friend is acting that way, but in the end it really is you and your FH’s choice. People that get offended by not being selected for your wedding and then treating you poorly just solidify why you didn’t choose them in the first place.

Weddings shouldn’t be such a stressful affair but it is because select people start acting out. We’re having a small wedding and can’t invite everyone. Most people will understand but I expect to receive a nasty e-mail from one person because he’s going to be offended. Even though we haven’t really spoken to him in a year. But that’s how it is. Roll with it.

Post # 6
3195 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

Brides DO have the right to choose who is in their wedding and it sounds like you had good reasons not to include your best friend.

However, it makes sense that her feelings are hurt because she assumed she would be in your wedding. If you want, you can contact her and let her know your reasons. Tell your former bestie how hurt you are by her comments and behavior.

My former best friend became very critical and gossipy while I was engaged. She was so jealous that she got engaged to some bum who was just using her for money; it was very creepy and jealous behavior. 

You don’t need negative energy around you on your wedding day. 

Post # 7
617 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

She sounds jealous and insecure. Be glad that you chose your cousin; your friend is really showing her true colors now.

I have found that the high degree of stress and emotion in weddings bring out the worst in some people. Maybe shoot her an email and say that the wedding party is family only. After giving her the reason, give her some room to breathe and she will reach out to you when/if shes ready. But I would advise that you dont waste any more of your time trying to soothe her.

Post # 8
6788 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2014 - A castle!

busybeebee:  When I read the title to your post I thought, “Wait, did I write this?” ((HUGS)) I know how hard it is to plan and *keep* the wedding small. My wedding was this past weekend and I’m not lying when I say I lost several friends over sticking to my guns on having a small wedding. The only advice I have is to tell your best friend that you wish she could be there, and if she can find the means to travel she is welcome to come, but otherwise let her know that the ceremony is reserved for family members to keep things fair. Maybe you could find a small reading for her so she can feel like she is a part of it? Sorry you’re experiencing this, it sucks!

Post # 9
3637 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

Do you really still consider her your best friend after all of this?

Post # 10
455 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

busybeebee:  How do you know she’s upset about not being a bridesmaid? Is it possible she has something going on in her life that is preventing her from being as communicative as she used to be?

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