Best friend angry about my engagement

posted 3 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
4215 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

No, you are not bring a bad person. Your friend is being a selfish shit head. Sorry. 

Post # 4
Member
7195 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@mollypuppy:  Everyone lives their lives on their own schedule. Life is not a race. No one has the right to tell anyone when they can or can’t get married. So long as you don’t choose the same exact day as her, you are doing nothing wrong. Your friend is being a b1tch.

p.s. lol at “get Barrie’s”. Autocorrect gone wild!

Post # 5
Member
2125 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

You’re doing nothing wrong. It’s too bad that her engagement isn’t progressing as she planned, but she is just upset about her own situation and taking it out on you. I know a couple girls who get mad at other people’s engagements and marriages because their relationship isn’t at that point yet. You can make her a BM (don’t know if I would), but I can imagine she will continue to be angry until she is married. 

Post # 6
Member
6964 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2015

@mollypuppy:  Your friend is mad her engagement is stalled and taking it out on you. She probably feels like she’s been running a marathon and now you’re “lapping” her after a short sprint. Don’t feed into it. If she’s being a brat just don’t share details with her. Don’t let her disappointment with her own life ruin this time for you. 

Post # 7
Member
1373 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

If I as in your shoes, I would tell said friend that she should go ahead and plan a wedding before yours then 😉 

Its not like she hasn’t/doesn’t have ample oppurtunity!

Post # 9
Member
7195 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@mollypuppy:  You’re very considerate wanting to put “a few months” between the weddings, but I think that’s overkill. What if you both want to get married in Spring 2014? I think so long as there is enough time so events don’t actually overlap (i.e. you’re not honeymooning at the time of her wedding) there’s no problem. Sisters with close weddings can be a problem (because of relatives needing to travel twice), but there’s no real impediment to friends marrying close together, because the guest lists doesn’t overlap nearly as much.

Post # 11
Member
2581 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2014 - UK

@mollypuppy:  Oh dear, just let her have her drama and don’t let it worry you. Get married when YOU want to, and I wouldn’t ask her to be a bridesmaid. If she’s as competititive as you say she is, I’d keep your wedding plans to yourself as well, because if threads on here have taught me anything then you might find that suddenly she’s set a date immediately before yours and is poaching all your ideas. If she asks, just say “We’re trying to keep it a surprise!”

Some people thrive on the drama, just ignore her. If she bitches, just tell her that your priority was making it convenient for your family, and you’re sorry it doesn’t work for her, or something.

Post # 12
Member
1226 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

You’ve done nothing wrong. You can’t be expected to put your life on hold until she achieves her goals.

I would have a long think about making her a BM – if she’s reacting like this before you’re even engaged, what are the chances she’ll pull her head in during the actual wedding planning process?

Post # 13
Member
4698 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Indeed, you’re totally in the right, she sounds kind of nuts. If she’d at least picked a date that would be one thing… it would give you something to work with and consider appeasing her or not depending on when you had considered it. But surely she can’t truly think she has claim to a time she hasn’t chosen, surely she doesn’t think it’s fair to demand you put your life on hold as long as she does?

Post # 14
Member
4827 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2013 - Upstate NY

How she’s acting can be summed up in 5 words: she’s not your best friend.

She’s had YEARS to book her wedding; it’s not like she’s not engaged yet! Outrageous. Tell her to sh*t or get off the pot.

 

Post # 15
Member
929 posts
Busy bee

@HappySky7:  lol +1.

 

Completely agree, she is being a “selfish shithead”.  It’s not your fault she’s not gotten her butt in gear and been able to put together her wedding. You plan your wedding for you and your FI(to be) ;), not her.

Post # 16
Member
2394 posts
Buzzing bee

@mollypuppy:  

No, you’re not being a bad person. And don’t bend over backwards the least bit to placate her. Don’t arrange your timeline around her or anything. What if she never gets married to this guy? Then you would be leaving yourself and your SO in limbo.

I know you said she is a lovely person but I have no patience for this type of behavior. I would cut her loose…. those are the kind of “friends” you can do without. Life is short.

Oh, and congratulations!

 

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