Post # 1
I’m so angry I don’t even know what to do. I’m 31, first time getting married…. Have spent 9+ months planning my day to make it unique and special. As any girl I spent sleepless night over what dress to choose. I finally found the dress of my dreams and ordered it 9 months ago. My first fitting is next week. In the meantime, a friend of mine who is a bridesmaid in my wedding is getting married in May, my wedding August. It’s her third wedding. She just began planning last month and has shown very little interest in any planning….She has seen many times photos of my dress and was with me a month ago when I tried on the sample of my dress for my bridesmaids. Yesterday she texts me and says she found the perfect dress. Sent me a photo…. I was confused because it was a pic of my wedding dress… shevsaid she bought it off the rack and it was exactly what she wanted. I made it known I was super upset but she has made no attempmetro contact me. I’m so upset and so lost about the whole thing. It crosses so many lines 🙁
Am i overreacting ? What would you do?
Post # 3
@SaraLynne024: That sucks, but there is really nothing you can do about it. Do you want this to ruin your friendship? If you don’t, you may have to let it pass (not saying it is right). If you don’t mind losing a friend, you could keep fighting her on it. It’s a crappy thing for a friend to do, but it’s been done and now you have to decide how you will deal with it.
Post # 4
@SaraLynne024: Ugh!!!! I would say that you are not overreacting. I would be completely devastated if my so-called best friend did this. Seriously….it is NOT okay on her part!
Post # 5
OMG I’m so sorry to hear 🙁 I like that she was playing dumb and sent her “her dress” pretending she didn’t know it is the same dress as yours. You are NOT over reacting. I’m not sure what advice I can give because I would be super super mad at my friend but I wouldn’t want to start a fight before both weddings.
Post # 6
So incredibly rude and inconsiderate!! What is her problem, has she shown any signs of jealousy?? Its sounds like she is trying to hurt you for some reason. You know I am so glad i joined this site, I have read so many stories describing similar incidents and I am only going to be sharing dress ideas/pics with my immediate family at this point.
Post # 7
Is there any possibility she didn’t do it on purpose? That she really completely forgot what your dress looked like?
Post # 8
You’re not overreacting and you have a reason to be upset. If that were me and I was getting married and tried on the same dress as my friend and really liked it, I’d say “well that’s nice…but I can’t get this dress..” and put it out of my mind. In fact, I probably wouldn’t try it on at all because I wouldn’t do that to a friend.
Regardless, there’s nothing you can do, as much as it sucks. I hope that she eventually sees herself in the wrong, whether she wears the gown or not, it would be nice to get an apology.
Post # 9
I honestly can’t imagine that in 3 weeks she forgot. I’m the maid of honor in her wedding. I think it’s weird she never said a word to me about the dress before purchasing. Seems shady. I’ve had to talk her out of using other ideas of mine for her own wedding, like flowers, music etc… But this… It just feels wrong:(
Post # 10
My fiancé is going to her wedding… He’ll see “my dress” before I even get to wear it.
Post # 11
- Wedding: March 2012 - Pelican Grand Beach Resort
This definitely sucks, but unless you tell people, chances are not a single person will realize. You will be styled differently and the weddings are months apart.
And although I think what she did is definitely messed up, I would ask you to put yourself in her shoes. What if you tried on the dress, that dress that makes you feel the way you feel in your dress, and you knew a dear friend had the same dress. How much would that suck? How terrible would you feel? Should you really put aside the dress for that? Maybe, but is that fair just because someone else saw it first? It’s got to be hard on her too.
Post # 12
- Wedding: March 2012 - Pelican Grand Beach Resort
@SaraLynne024: Have you told him it’s the same dress? He’d never know if you don’t. Plus, it will look unique on you. You’ll have your hair, your makeup, your shoes, your jewelry, and even more importantly, your body and your face.
ETA: Stop sharing details with her. It sounds like she has no creativity of her own and your good ideas have no competition from her own so she takes yours.
Post # 13
This really sucks, and I totally sympathize, but there is nothing you can do about it now, especially if you’ve already reached out to your friend and she hasn’t responded. All you can do now is harness your energy into positive thinking, and thinking that helps you overcome this. I do agree that you will be styled completely differently and that your fiance will probably not know the difference once he sees everything come together on you. Sometimes brides’ before and after pictures look SO different. There is a sticky of before and after pictures in the dress forum. But I definitely understand that you are hurting over this, and I think you did the right thing by sharing your feelings, especially since this friend is so close to you and is a bridesmaid.
Do you have a picture of the dress?
Post # 14
I’m sorry. It sucks and I can understand why you’re upset. But as PPs have noted I’m not sure there’s much to do about it other than end the friendship or just get over it. Is it a very unique dress? If it’s a white strapless typical kind of dress then I bet nobody even notices. Many dresses look similar and people don’t remember things exactly. And I bet you look totally different in your dress than she does in yours.
Post # 15
Some bees are understanding, but if this happened to me I would be livid. I’m not a bridezilla, but I definitely would be over this. Probably because I see the dress as one of the most special parts about me for that day.
I’m sorry you have to deal with this and that she isn’t even making an attempt to contact you. Stay strong, and try and not let it ruin your day.
Post # 16
@SaraLynne024: i really liked my FSIL’s dress. I’dd admit I tried one on and thought about it- but I couldn’t do that to her.
It’s a bitch move