Weddingbee boards

I completely understand why you're hurt and upset. When my MOH got engaged we were on a rough patch of our relationship, and their engagement is actually what got us talking again. About a month later she asked me to be a part of her day. It was myself, her college roommate and her younger sister. Her college roommate was super busy with softball, sorority events and church activities, and I ended up doing the bulk of planning and organizing with her. I didnt mind at all. She and I have been best friends since 10th grade, its what I always pictured. What I didn't picture was picking up a wedding program a couple days before the wedding, only to see the other 'maid listed as MOH, not me. We had never addressed titles during planning, but it just always seemed implied. I was the one who did all the leg work, picked out the bridesmaid dresses etc. My feelings were beyond hurt, but I sucked it up and tried to let it go. The hardest part was on the actual wedding, seeing and hearing all the guests give the other girl all this credit for being MOH and listening to her give a speech, acting like she had done all of these things and put all this effort in.. when in reality, we had to BEG her to even stay the night with us the night before the wedding and help us finish last minute things. It was hard. My MOH/best friend has since apologized to me, and has admitted her mistake, and it's long since been water under the bridge. We've been thru so much since that day in '08, it seems silly to even have ever let it affect me that way {her husband committed suicide in june of '08, she moved out of state and started dating a total asshole, moved back home, dated ANOTHER asshole and is now with someone who treats her the way she should be treated, and we're planning another wedding, with me as the MOH :) }

I agree with Jags though.. try to bring up the idea of Co-MOH's. If she's truly your best friend, she'll take it into consideration. Lots of people do it to be honest. Good luck! :)

My best friend and I WERE friends since we were three years old. She askd me to be her MOH and I accepted. She became pregnant before her wedding and I got a seamstress to make her a maternity gown. helped her pay for the wedding because I had the financial ability to do so and she didn't, put it all together and stood by her through the wedding planning  process, the whole 89 yards. We are getting ready to march in and start the wedding when she informed me that her sister was upset because she didn't chose her as the MOH and to her sister was now her MOH. I had to hand her my bouquet and get out of line and have as seat in the audience. I couldn't have been more hurt and stunned. Her sister hates her and they never got along.  

Although the way your friend told you you may not be the MOH was kind of callous and insensitive, at least you know. I didn't find out until we were lining up to go down the aisle. I would tell your friend how the way she handled it made you feel and I would let her chose the other girl. I think you may be more of a friend to her than she is to you. 

@phaedrakay:  OMG that didn't really happen did it? How horrid!

Did you say anything? Did she pay you back?

OP - Don't let yourself be hurt if you aren't chosen. I had a lot of trouble chosing my MOH. People are close to you for different reasons, and I personally chose my MOH not because she is the closest friend( I have a top 3, who are all standing), but because I know how much I mean to her, and how happy being MOH would make her. She is also an organization-aholic and I knew she would be my go to girl for anything I needed. :)

I made sure to send a special note to my other 2 friends though, letting them know that I was every bit as honoured that they would stand with me on that day, and how much they meant to me.