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She is NOT your friend. What a toxic relationship. She is not worth your time!!
@Soon2bMrsMay: I have to agree with PP's. This girl sounds like she has a lot of issues with how her life is going right now, and because yours is going well, she is taking her disappointments out on you. I would definitely give yourself some space from her. You are just hurting yourself everytime you put yourself into a position to be yelled at by her. I'm so sorry that your best friend has turned into this person, but it's healthiest if you stop this friendship now until she gets her act together.
Aren't you also having similar issues with your sister? It sounds like you might need to take a step back from these relationships and surround yourself with people who will be happy for you and don't feel the need to compete...
I don't think she sounds like much of a friend at all. I would take a break form talking to her or at least about wedding stuff and see if she comes around. I am guessing she is more unhappy with her own life then she is willing to admit, and that isn't something you can change.
Friends are supposed to make our lives better. Why would you keep this person in your life? Time to make some new friends.
@Soon2bMrsMay: Oh my gosh. I'm stunned. I'm normally a peace maker and would suggest ways to work it out, but I agree with love108--she isn't worth a single second of your time!
She sounds mentally unstable. What adult behaves like that? She threw a tantrum like a child and for no good reason. I agree with what other PPs have said here. She sounds toxic and you should probably end the friendship, then surround yourself with positive people who are happy for you.
She's not your friend. You need to cut that relationship she sounds psychotic...
Oh my goodness. Please cut her out of your life! What a horrible, toxic person. Even when I get jealous of people, I never show it. I always put on a big smile and congratulate/praise them. I might vent to my FI, but that's as far as it goes. Throwing tantrums and kicking peoples' mailboxes is a really juvenile way of handling things. She needs to get a life. She needs to dump the child she's with if she wants to have a successful relationship.
I hate to say that people are jealous...but....she has serious case of jealousitis. That isn't a good friendship. It shouldn't be a contest and when it becomes a constant one, you should back away. She picked a toad that will never change into a prince and she knows she won't have what you have.
She is NOT a friend...why do you even put up with it? She is obviously jealous of you and acting as a complete biotch about it. If she's unhappy about her life, then it's up to her to get on her butt and fix it instead of taking it out on you. I would not be friends with her again if I were you.
I just read your other post about your sister...the stories are almost exactly the same- seems you attract a lot of jealous people in your life. So you have two options, cut them off or deal. Anyway, let's see the ring!
@Soon2bMrsMay: Is this for real? Have you ever heard the quote, "With friends like these, who needs enemies?" Your friend is no friend. She sounds like a competitive, jealous and insecure person.
What to do? You can forgive her and wish her well and then send her swiftly out of your life.
I used to have these people in my life in my younger years, and ya know what? They aren't there anymore. Toxic.toxic.toxic!! This girls isn't your friend but is jealous. It's totally normal to sometimes envy something somebody else has, but this takes it to an awful level.
Are your sister and your friend the same person? How is it possible that these stories are the exact same? You don't have to interact with any of these people!
@allergicbee: @redheadem: I noticed the same thing. Hmm, something isn't quite right here...
she is not angry at you. she is angry at herself. jealous people who act that way are like that because they can't make it happen for themselves.
she will never be happy until she changes her attitude. i am sure that you work very hard to achieve what you have (house, etc) and not everyone knows how hard you work for these things. some people just feel entitled that it should just fall in their laps. sounds like she is one of them.
she is toxic. i wouldn't waste much time on her. you should surround yourself with positive, supportive friends. she is not one of them.
Oh I can relate with having a jealous friend. One of my girlfriends pulled some crazy stunts as well when we got engaged and it got worse as the wedding events unfolded. I suggest distanting yourself and don't have her part of your wedding party. Sorry you have to deal with this nonsense during a happy time in your life. Congrats on your engagement. Feel free to PM anytime.
My sister and my best friend are NOT the same person. My problem with my sister is her boyfriend and how she's trying to take the spotlight off me for everything, the problem with my best friend is her insane jealousy and the way she gets angry when things are going "better" for me then things are for her. My 2 posts sound the same but they're 2 completely different issues...
WOW she has problems and is NOT your friend. I think its time to move away from this friendship and what ever you do dont have her in your wedding party! what a nightmare that would be! A true friend would be 100% supportive, even if a little jealous she would do her best to hide it.
@allergicbee: Me too...These stories are just really similar. If that's really the case, and you've got *both* of these people in your life, that sucks. Get rid of the friend, and ignore the sister.
I hesitate to question that you've got two people in your life who are angry at you for being happy...but...are you *absolutely* positive you aren't bragging? I'm not trying to be mean, but to have two people (whose relationships you've trash talked and clearly been hardcore judging) who are supposed to be close to you angry because your life is good is suspect. Maybe it's something you don't think about, just a slight lack of tact. I mean, if I know my friend doesn't like talking about her relationship or mine, and she's unhappy, I probably wouldn't call her to talk about how happy I am. That doesn't excuse her behavior, but it might explain it...
I had a toxic friend as well. She is not so bad as yours, but certainly could not be happy for me when I got engaged. Every time oThor the girls in our circle gets engaged or married or haschina by, she takes it personally, as if we are scheduling our major life events around making her feel inadequate. A few months ago, I cut the cord, and I have no regretted it. I encourage you to do the same.
so you have a toxic crazy sister and now a toxic crazy best friend?
she even sent me a LIST of why she "hates" talking to me
good, so you dont have to do anything but lose her number and move on
Theres nothing you can do about it but wait it out...When we first got engaged, I was elated, and quite a few people were very jealous...Heck, even I've been the one with the attitude towards a friend before...it hurts when your relationship/life isn't going the way you want it to, and someone elses is...I think you just have to wait it out...once your friends leaves this bum, and finds a great guy who makes her happy she won't be so envious of you and your blessings! Congrats on your engagement and PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE post bling pics!!!!
@Soon2bMrsMay: Whoah. That is not a friend. I never, ever say this, but she is a jealous person with a lot of negativity in her life. I say surround yourself with some more positive, uplifting people that can be happy for you. You don't need that kind of drama, especially while you're planning a wedding.
First of all, dump the friend and move on.
Secondly, now that you have showed off the ring and have hopefully been joyous in your engagement, I would calm down on the wedding front. If your date is correct, you've got such a long time to be engaged and plan. It seems like you've got a couple of bad egg relationships going on, and if you want to rebuild those relationships, you should work on that and not focus on either your sister or friend's weddings.
Wow with friends like that I'd hate to meet your enemies!
You don't don't don't need this girl in your life. Please for your own sanity, try and distance yourself from her until things calm down. Now you need to be happy in the fact that you are engaged to someone you love and wedding planning should be exciting!
Also, I agree with the PPs...ring pics to cheer this thread up!! =)
you need to kick this girl out of your life for good
I agree with PP's, sounds like this girl isn't much of a friend at all. I would let her go and get on with your life. It's not your fault she has a crappy boyfriend/fiance if she cannot be happy for you than she needs to go. Sounds like she cannot be happy for others if she feels things are so wrong in her own life, she cannot handle other people being on top. Such a BRAT!!!!
Trust me, it's possible to have 2 people that toxic and jealous of your life....I am in that boat with my sister and my mother.....you should hear some of the things that have been said to me/about me.....and unfortunately it is because my life is so good (I have worked very hard for what I have and am STILL working hard to keep it....)but all they see is the nice stuff I have and can't handle that I have what they don't.....unfortunately I'm not going to stop having nice stuff just because they can't handle seeing it...(and no, I don't rub it in their face...)
so I get what the OP is saying.....and it sucks...I've learned to move on from friends like that...I don't need that in my life....family is a whole other matter....
@Soon2bMrsMay: Wow, that's awful. I'm sorry you had to go through that. Like the PPs, I think she has issues. She sounds like the type who is only happy when other people aren't. Sad to say, but I honestly think you should cut off your friendship with her. What I learned from my experience is that no matter how long you've know someone, you have to let go if you know it's a negative friendship. We're not getting any younger and we don't need that kind of negativity around us. We all have enough to deal with as it is.
I didn't read the other posts, but to me it seems that she is jealous that your life is coming together and hers is not. SHe doesn't seem like a "friend" to me. I would talk to her and tell her that is things don't change, you need her out of your life.
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Hey bee's. I've been best friends with this girl for over 6 years. We'll call her SB. She was the only friend I've had that I felt connected to, not romantically, just in the sense that EVERYTHING happened to us at the exact same time. Everything. Even our periods were in sync. She's been rude and vicious towards me nonstop within the past year. She even sent me a LIST of why she "hates" talking to me.
The gist of the list was that I have a handsome clean cut Prince Charming looking guy (30yrs old) who adores me and treats me like a queen, whereas hers is a grungy (19yrs old) ICP tattoo guy that spends all of his time pimping out his car, can never hold a job and never showers. We've both been with our men over 3 yrs.
Second on the list, was that she's upset my Fiance and I just bought a house together and adopted a rare GS puppy, Ryder..meanwhile she's living in her guy's parent's basement, not allowed to have pets, and his family keeps stealing her things. And her bf does NOT want to leave the nest to get their own place.
About 6 months ago I learned my bf was planning to propose (Found a receipt in the laundry with a certain date circled, so I knew when it was going to happen). When I called her expecting her to be happy for me, she started SCREAMING at me and hung up.
Later on I heard from a mutual friend, after hearing the news about my soon engagement, SB went home and gave her bf an ultimateum to propose within a month. He got her a ring and just handed it to her and then she called me to brag it felt like. I was happy for her, but part of me felt like she's trying to compete with me. Anyways, my fiance took longer than expected because he said he wanted to get me my dream ring, and I was happy to wait because I knew he was trying to make it special for me. So when the day came and he got on one knee and asked me to marry him, I almost fainted, I was so happy.
Later on that week I called her over so we could see eachothers rings. She got to my house, took one look at my ring and asked how much it was. I told her price is not important but I told her he got it from Fred Meyers, and she blew up on me again saying she saw that ring in the store window for over 6 grand and then she looked down at her ring and called it a "p.o.s pawn shop reject for less than 200!" I stood there speechless! After a minute of uncomfortable silence, she looked at my ring and got angry, she even called me a "Spoiled b*tch!". When things got worse I made her leave, and my fiance rushed in to comfort me because he just pulled up when he saw her kick our mailbox on the way back to her car. I couldn't believe she got ANGRY at my engagement ring!!!! Something's changed about her..and I feel like she hates that I'm happy!
I don't know what to do when it feels like she only wants to talk to me to brag and then she gets ANGRY when things are going good for me. What should I do, how do I approach this?!!!