- 6 years ago
- Wedding: August 2012
I’m new and suddenly I’m faced with a problem that has a made me need some advice and support.
I’ve been engaged for 2 months, getting married next August, and everything has been going smoothly so far, until now. We’ve made a lot of decisions already. It’s taken me a long time to find my prince charming so I’m very happy about this stage of my life.
My best friend of 20 years is a bridesmaid. She’s been super supportive and excited until about a month ago when she suddenly started being unresponsive to emails and texts. Here’s the deal: she got married a few years ago and I was with her every step of the way. Now, she’s pre-occupied with her almost 1 year old and seems to be very distracted, which I get, but she’s turned very cold and dismissive. Her issues come first is her new attitude towards me.
I’ve sent a few emails about ideas, which have gone with no response from her. I haven’t asked for anything of my girls yet. I’m letting them pick their own dresses, and the most I’ve done is thrown out ideas and wanted feedback for accessories, etc. My other bridesmaids have been responsive and and enthusiastic. She’s completely not responded.
Then last week I bought my wedding dress (!!!) – I texted her to tell her and I got no response. So I texted her at the end of the following day and asked if she was getting my messages? Then she responded the NEXT day (so 2 days after my dress text) and just said “I respond to my messages in priority.” -period. No sorry for being unavailable, no congrats, nothing. COLD COLD COLD. How is that they way you respond to your best friend finding her wedding dress????
Then, I found out my sister (MOH) texted her that same day to let her about planning a BM’s lunch and shopping day. She didn’t respond. My sis texted her again later and she replied “I’m sorry….who is this?” and when my sis then said it was her (and ok, as if you can’t put 2 and 2 together who’s arranging a Bridesmaid or Best Man lunch-she’s known my sis for 20 years) – again, then no response back.
I’m so upset!!!!!!!!!! I have no idea why she is suddenly being like that! So I called her and left her a message (that I’ll admit was very heated bc I was so upset) and she emailed me back with a very cold what sounded like an out of office message “We are currently away enjoying a much needed family vacation. If you’d still like to talk to me we’ll be back early next week.”
Then, I noticed that on fb she has sent someone a very syrupy sweet message during this same time that she apparently is ‘responding in priority’ to someone else congratulating them on their new baby. But, she ignored me and my dress excitement.
At this point, she hasn’t gotten back to me and I don’t know what to do. How can I move forward with someone who acts like this? But also, I miss my friend, and I just want her to be there for me like I was there for her. I’m so stressed over this right now and my fiance is angry because she upset me so much.
With friends like these, who needs enemies? Am I over-reacting?