Best friend has two BFs and they know about each other…

posted 3 years ago in Relationships
Post # 2
410 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I’m SORRY to say this but I don’t know what the point of this thread is! You are going to get flamed and told off for being friends with this girl. 

Not to state the obvious but:

#1, she doesn’t care about seeing her children.

#2, she is playing two guys.

#3, your FI doesn’t even want her in your house.

I honestly don’t see what the point of this thread, or your relationship with this girl is. She doesn’t sound like a pleasant person at all, and I shy away from people like that. I hope things work out for her, I really do. It sounds like her life isn’t too put together at the moment…

Post # 5
535 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

Sorry, but I really think this is none of your business. Unless she’s asking you to lie for her/drive her to meet the other BF/etc, this really has no impact on your life. Your FI could dislike any of your friends for any reason, so to drop your friend because you “can’t invite her over for a dinner party” is beyond trivial. If you feel you need to cut ties with her because you don’t support her lifestyle or you’ve outgrown the friendship, fine. Your post is, though, really judgmental of your friend, and it doesn’t sound like you see any reasons to salvage a friendship with her, so why not just end it? 

Post # 6
7191 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2013

I’m not sure why anyone would want a friend like that.

Post # 8
4 posts

Silly_love:  I just want to say,every one has different life style,and we should respect them. Hug

Post # 10
535 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

Silly_love:  I don’t really understand why you feel guilty on behalf of your friend. Frankly, you don’t really know what her “arrangement” is, nor is it any of your business (and analyzing FB posts is just silly). Their relationship has nothing to do with you beyond who’s at the dinner table with her; if you really can’t get over that, then end the friendship. Im not seeing where the problem is with this.

The creeper friends are a different story altogether, however. She’s allegedly your best friend, why can’t you talk to her and tell her that the BFs friends make you uncomfortable? This all just seems blownout of proportion.

Post # 12
9526 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

You didn’t really ask any questions so I guess I’ll just give you my impression.

She is one of those people who can’t handle monogamy. Sounds like she has been honest about that. Sounds like her live-in boyfriend knows this and chooses to stay. If he can’t deal with the lack of monogamy, he should leave. There are plenty of couples out there who choose to not be monogamous. But it’s important that both people in the couple be on board. It sounds like he is saying that he’s on board but isn’t actually okay with it and is lashing out.

It’s not really clear what’s going on with the kids, so I’m not going to comment on that.

If your fiance really dislikes your friend so much, for whatever reason, then he’s within his right to not want to socialize with her. That’s hard, but you can always go out to dinner with her, instead of inviting her over!

ETA: Sorry – just read the updates. If she’s lying – that’s a whole different matter!

  • This reply was modified 2 years, 7 months ago by  JenGirl.
Post # 13
535 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

Silly_love: Right- you know that the BFs are aware of each other, and all 3 consenting adults continue to participate in the arrangement. So, again, where is the part that affects you? Why on earth would you feel guilty hanging out with BF A, when BF B cleary chooses to remain in the relationship with your friend? You’re trying to make this your business when it’s not. Either dump the friend or butt out.

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