Best friend just got engaged last night.

posted 3 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
7630 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: January 2013

Why compare yourself to her?

Post # 4
668 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

I am sorry this is tough for you. The feeling that your life isn’t moving forward they way you had hoped is really unsettling. Have you had any conversations with your SO about the “M” word?

Post # 6
3596 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

All I have to say, is talk to your So about your relationship. Jealousy is a normal part of life. But only you can change your thinking, be happy to your friend, there no reason to be comparing yourself to her.


If you are unhappy with your relationship, you have the power to change things.


Post # 9
610 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

I don’t blame you at all for feeling down. Everytime somebody I knew got engaged while I was waiting, it felt like a little part of me died. Not that I wasn’t happy for them, but it was hard! When you want something so badly and see somebody else get it, it sucks! Jealousy is a NORMAL emotion, and anybody who says they don’t experience it over one thing or another is lying. Trust me when I tell you though, that once you DO get engaged, all that sadness will go out the window and you’ll laugh at how you ever felt that way.

Post # 10
1022 posts
Bumble bee

@imsandradee:  I can completly comiserate with you. Anytime someone got engaged while I was waiting I would be so happy for them, but a lot of times I also needed a good cry. It is so hard watching everyone around you get the one thing that you really really want, even worse when you know that they are not in a healthy relationship.

All I can really say is hang in there. I know it isn’t much but really there isn’t a whole lot else that you can do. Try distracting youself with anything else, which is nice since it is easier with the holidays.

If you feel like you need to talk to your SO, then talk to him. This was a huge mistake that I made. I didn’t want to talk to him because I didn’t want to see pushy, annoying, despriate…. and I would hold it all in and eventually it would just all bubble over I would turn into a blubbering mess who could not properly communicate and it would turn into a fight. I would have been better off just being honest and getting it out there.

I hope your wait is not long


Post # 11
1002 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

Have you been together for two years or talking about marriage for two years?  I never had a waiting period fortunately but I also never thought about getting married. i would say to be happy in your relationship if it is good and marriage is something you have talked about it will happen just be patient and try not to think too much about getting married. I’m sure spending time on the bee doesn’t help with waiting either. 

Post # 13
1963 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

@imsandradee:  I know how this feels.  I sort of lose my sh*t on the inside, when people get engaged around me.  Of course I smile politely, and say congratulations though.  The important thing that you have to keep in mind though, is that your relationship is unique, and it really doesn’t matter what other people are doing in their relationships.  When the time is right for you and your SO to be engaged, then you will be. 


@Lbward6:  I know you’re just trying to be helpful to the OP, by telling her that spending time on the bee isn’t helpful. But there is actually a very supportive waiting bee community here.  Its actually one of the things about this site that I like so much.  I suppose since you’ve never had to wait, you don’t know what its like.  But its nice to know that others are going through the same thing, and it’s very refreshing to see their names get scratched from the waiting list, when they finally get their proposals.  This site is not just great for engaged or married bees, but its also awesome for those of us who are waiting.


Post # 14
2125 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

I get the feeling. I’ve been with my SO for for 6 years, waiting for around 8 months. He actually even has my ring too. This past summer 4 of my friends became engaged and I couldn’t help but wish I was too. I was happy for them, but not all of the time. However, my SO let it slip that he wanted to propose over Spring Break next year. Although I wanted it to be total surprise, establishing a timeline really seems like it helped. One of my friends got engaged a couple weeks ago and I was able to be truly happy for her. 

Keep your head up. The fact that you and your SO are talking about marriage is a good sign. 

Post # 15
772 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

The way I see it you have two options:

1. Sit around moping and passively “waiting” to be proposed to, each day losing your sense of perspective to the point where you can’t be happy for others and you don’t appreciate that you’re already in a committed relationship with the man of your dreams. Or,

2. Tell your SO that you’re ready to get married, and then ask him to marry you. You could be engaged in the next 5 minutes. Boom.

Post # 16
816 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

I am sorry, OP. It’s kind of like having trouble TTC and all your friends are having a baby. It’s tough! I will say, however, that I could tell a few of my friends were not entirely happy when my DH and I got engaged after dating for a year and some change. It was obvious and it kinda hurt because this was our moment as a couple. So, dont be upset with yourself for these feelings (totally normal) but try to release these feelings when they come and focus on all the great things to come.:)

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