Best friend miscarried. :'(

posted 3 years ago in Emotional
  • poll: Should I go to my own proposal dinner?
    Yes : (73 votes)
    89 %
    No : (3 votes)
    4 %
    Not sure : (2 votes)
    2 %
    Maybe : (4 votes)
    5 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    989 posts
    Busy bee

    @DreamOfCoheed:  I’m so sorry for your friend 🙁 that’s really tragic news.

    If the situation was hypothetically reversed, and she was saying that she didn’t want to go to her own proposal dinner – what would you say? I am sure she is genuine in saying that she wants to do normal things, and I’m certain she wouldn’t want you to miss out on your proposal dinner. She’s your friend and she wants you to be happy. If she had said that she was so down and couldn’t bear leaving the house, that would be completely different. If she’s up to going, you should be too. 

     

    Post # 4
    Member
    859 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    Having had a miscarriage at 16 weeks i can tell you she will really appreciate the distraction.there is nothing worse than wallowing in the oain of a situation you can not change.

    also she might feel like two happinesses have been taken away if you avoid getting engaged because of her miscarriage.

    Post # 5
    Member
    1373 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2015

    Go, take her, try to have a normal fun night out with friends. Let her enjoy a night where everyone is focusing on your happiness and not her pain. It’ll be helpful for her.

    Post # 6
    Member
    1560 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    @DreamOfCoheed:  I’m sure that she would enjoy the distraction, rather than sitting at home, looking at baby clothes that she already purchased, etc. You are her best friend, she wants you to be happy. Go ahead and be happy, and still support her when she has those days where she is grief stricken.

    Post # 7
    Member
    756 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: April 2014

    @DreamOfCoheed:  I had a miscarraige myself on my 22nd bday. It was so early i didnt even know i was pregnant until i was at the hospital. They told me it was going to be twins too. Its a horrible thing to go through. I feel to sorry for your friend and its a great thing she has a good friend like you to get her through this hard time. But for now Im sure she would enjoy the distraction. When i went through it none of our families even knew we were sexually active and they would have killed us if they knew so i couldnt even tell anyone but my guy. He did what he could to help me through it and distract me and it di help a lot. Yes she is your best friend but im sure she wouldnt want you to pt your life on hold just for her. and if anything it will just make her feel worse that you are probably.

    Post # 8
    Member
    2441 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: July 2018

    You should absolutely go to your proposal dinner!! (I’ve had a miscarriage)

    Post # 9
    Member
    11668 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    Go and have fun. Life does and has to go on. Happy occasions don’t minimize her loss or pain. I’d hate for a friend to be sad during her proposal over my situation. She wants you to go and be happy! Im sure she will welcome the distraction 

    Post # 10
    Member
    37 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: October 2014

    Go to dinner with your man and get engaged. Don’t expect anyone else to be there during this time. Have your BF make this dinner just about you two and others will celebrate with you in the future!

    Post # 11
    Member
    3625 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    @DreamOfCoheed:  I am so sorry, but go and be happy. Will it hurt for her, yes. But i would hate for my best friend not to continue with her live because of an event we both had no control over. She will be happy for you, and more importantly, you should be happy for you! Being happy in no way takes away from you being a supportive friend.

    Post # 12
    Member
    1835 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: March 2013

    @DreamOfCoheed:  I think it is so amazing that she has a friend who loves her as much as you do, you would be willing to put aside your happiness to make her comfortable and that’s beautiful. She probably feels the same way for you and that’s why she wants to be there and be happy for you. Go, get engaged, have fun, and most of all cherish this awesome friendship.

    Post # 15
    Member
    190 posts
    Blushing bee

    Congratulations!  What a beautiful ring!

    From my own very recent experience miscarrying three weeks ago, I would say that it is so kind of you to keep in touch with your friend.  I think she will appreciate if you touch base with her again in a few days but also give her a little space in the mean time just like you said.  There have been times when I’ve really needed space especially from friends, which I don’t mean as an insult in any way.  She may just need some time to deal with her grief before she is able to celebrate your exciting, happy news.

    Post # 16
    Member
    1102 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2014

    @DreamOfCoheed:  I am glad you went, I would have said to go and let your friend see someone happy. Cause sometimes when your down seeing people you love happy helps you out of the low places. 

     

    Congratualtions 

     

    As for your friend give her space, she might just be sad and not want to impact you and bring you down, likely why she ended up realizing she could not go. Also prob why she isnt talkative she just dosn’t want to bring you down i would go bring her flowers or something 

     

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