Post # 1
Things have been going great with the wedding plans, except my best friend from highschool has completely stopped talk to to me. I have no idea why. I got engaged last May and when I called her she seemed so excited. I thought about having her in the wedding, but she lives in OR and I live in NH. She just graduated from college and is living with her parents. I did not want her to spend money on being in the wedding, especially since she wouldn’t be able to participate in any of the bonding events. I was planning on having her get ready with the girls in the morning and then doing a reading or something during the ceremony. I talked to her about this and she seemed honored. However, she started dodging my calls and when I did talk to her she would be very short with me. Now she just won’t take my calls at all. I have texted her, emailed her, and called her about once a month and I have gotten nothing in return. A month ago I sent her a long private facebook message telling her that I was sad I haven’t talked to her and please let me know if I did anything wrong or if there is any other reason why she hasn’t been talking to me. I can see on facebook that she read it, but I never heard back from her.
I am so sad that this is happening. She has been my best friend for 9 years even though we have lived on the other side of the country for 5 years. I am wondering if there is anything you guys think i should do? If we lived closer I would march right over to her house and confront her, but that is not an option. My FI is mad that she is doing this and says I shouldn’t even send her an invitation, but I can’t imagine not inviting her. Should I send her an invitation?
Post # 3
I would. I don’t agree with her behavior, but you really have no idea what’s going on. It could have nothing to do with you.
So she’s not in your wedding party? Because I have a sneaking suspicion she may be upset about that. You made the decision for her on what she was going to spend her money on and cut her out of the bridal party? I have been friends with my BFF since 5th grade. She’s not married yet and we live states away. If she did that to me I would be beyond hurt. Just a thought…
Post # 4
I agree with the previous poster — she’s probably upset that she wasn’t asked to be a bridesmaid.
Post # 5
@deetroitwhat: I completely agree with you. I think she’s upset that you didn’t ask her to be a bridesmaid. I think you should’ve at least asked her & gave her a choice if she was truely your best friend for that long.
Also, if you do not send her an invite to the wedding, considering how she is acting now, I would think that would be the very end of your friendsip. I don’t think it could recover after that.
Post # 6
I wanted to add that I am no longer speaking with my bestfriend from highschool either (very long story). We haven’t talked in over a year. It really sucks to lose a bestfriend… I think you need to call her & have a heart to heart.
Post # 7
@MrsMath: I agree with PP. She is possibly hurt that you would not at least ask her to be a BM. Or, as someone has already mentioned, there could be something serious happening in her life that really has nothing to do with you at all. I think you should send her an invite. If she continues to ignore you and does not attend the wedding…if it were me I would consider the friendship over.
Post # 8
@MrsMath: I can’t stand when people act like this. It’s SO passive aggressive and bitchy. Probably my #1 pet peeve.
If she doesn’t want to be your friend, she should say so, and let you get on with your life.
If a friend of mine did this (an ex of mine once did), they would no longer be my friend.
I’d send an invitation as a last gesture of friendship, but cut out the reading since she can’t be relied upon.
Unless she has some severe clinical depression or something really bad going on, she could have at least sent you a quick update message. I am not sure anything is excusable really. I think you’ve given her the benefit of the doubt one too many times.
Post # 9
@MrsMath: most of the times, people grow up and start involving in different circles and move on. I personally only know 4 girls who knew each other since elementary and still safe each others bffs in their 20s. How they make it work? They all live really close to each other. It’s really precious to see them in each others wedding and baby showers.
Distance and different social circles makes a huge impact. Sadly enough, and not to beat around the bush, it seems like she is no longer interested in being your friend and your feelings are not being reciprocated. Focus your love and attention to your friends around you a build a close circle. If she comes around, she will, but don’t force her.
Post # 10
I wouldn’t send her an invitation. She’s being childish and I wouldn’t want a friend like that anyways. I had to stop associating with my ex best friend a few years ago because she was childish and I was just done with her bs and selfish ways. Trust me just drop her and you’ll forget about it and find better and real friends.
Post # 11
no contact…no relationship…no invite. You have obsiously made several attempts…so i say hell no. bury the hatchet already.
Post # 12
I would send her an invitation, I don’t agree with her not talking to you but I don’t think you would feel good not sending one, I know I wouldn’t
Post # 13
Thanks for the input! I agree that she might be upset that I didn’t ask her to be a BM. I thought she was okay with it when I talked to her about it. She has always been one to share her true feelings with me. I think I will send her an invite as a last resort. After that I will take the hint and leave her alone. It is just tough when I think about how close we were just 6 months ago.
Post # 14
Since I have gotten engaged two of my best friends from high school have also stopped talking to me. The first one was my Matron of Honor and she stopped speaking to me after I told her I couldn’t afford to fly both her and her husband to NC from UT for my wedding. It became a huge argument and she no longer speaks to me. I don’t really know why the other stopped…I have a feeling it’s because she likes my fiance because after trying to cut me out of her life she still wanted to be best friends with my Fiance. Anyway, my point is, people get upset and there is nothing you can do about it…just gotta find the best way to handle it.