Best friend not invited?!

posted 3 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
4410 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

If you don’t invite her you will lose her altogether as a friend. I would invite her (and her husband) and just be civil to her husband for the sake of your friendship. If you can’t bear to do that, then don’t invite them, but realize you’ll be ending the friendship. (NOt judging your choice, just spelling out the options!)

Post # 4
Member
5932 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2018

@eecuadrado:  Oh dear, loose lips sink ships….how the hell did you end up hearing this out of wedlock comment anyway?  As if that’s even something worth considering in the here and now, what matters if you’re happy and your family works for you.

Anyway, why are you talking to your friend about something her husband said?  Why not just talk to him about it?  Let him know you find his comments about your life wildly inappropriate, unsolicited and completely unnecessary and that in the future, you would appreciate him keeping those little pearls of judgement to himself since it was so very hurtful….

Then you can invite them both and not worry about it!

Post # 5
Member
845 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

@eecuadrado:  Have you posted about this same thing before? It feels really familiar.

Just invite her and her husband. You won’t even notice him there. Otherwise don’t invite them and risk losing the friendship forever.

Post # 7
Member
851 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013 - The front lawn of our church

@eecuadrado:  Honestly, I think you’re overreacting. Sounds like your friend is a drama queen, but you need to not get pulled into drama with her. People say stupid stuff all the time. I know I’ve said plenty of things in my life that I wish I could take back. I think you need to just go ahead and invite them. 

Post # 10
Member
511 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

It’s just one comment, maybe you need to just let it go. It seems worth having to put up with him being there rather than completely losing this friendship, which is what would happen if you don’t even invite her to your wedding after you were MOH in hers.

Post # 11
Member
2649 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

@eecuadrado:  What did her husband say and how did you find out what he said? 

Whatever, it’s both or nothing. In my opinion, if you love and care for this friend, you should just invite them Both. Who cares about him – you won’t be focused on him at all.

Also, for whatever it’s worth, he didn’t attack your kid with his comments – he criticized you and your FI. Not to mention, if he was sexually active before marriage, he’s a raging, ridiculous hypocrite.

Post # 13
Member
1399 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

@eecuadrado:  You have to invite them together.  If you don’t, it’s pretty much guaranteed that she won’t come, and you will end the friendship completely.  Maybe that’s what you want?  

Sorry you have to deal with this.  It’s just added drama to an already stressful process.

Honestly though, even if the husband does come (there’s a chance he might decline and your friend ends up coming solo), you’ll be so happy that day that you won’t even notice him.  99% of the people at your wedding will be there to love and support you.  You can deal with the 1% *sshole bit.

 

 

Post # 14
Member
66 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

@eecuadrado:  like PPs have said 1) either invite her and her husband or 2) lose the friendship. You have no other options.   I hate half of my fiance’s friends, but I’m inviting them anyway.  It sounds like your friendship with A is slipping away, but wouldn’t you rather end things on good terms?

 

Post # 15
Member
5932 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2018

@eecuadrado:  You know, if its still bothering you, it bears discussing it with him.  I know a lot of times we can be sensitive and let things that really don’t matter bother us, but in this case I honestly think a sit down is worth the trouble.  It doesn’t have to be a “Go To The Principal’s Office” kind of moment, but you might want to swing by their house with some cookies and let him know that little comment really tore you up.

I bet he apologizes…sometimes people don’t think.

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