posted 6 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
1172 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

@4YOU:  Be glad you dont have a front row seat for the let down of the century. Be happy you just get an invitation.  Here’s whats gonna happen. If she manages to get this guy down the aisle, if and when, probably is more likely, this thing implodes she is gonna be looking for someone to blame. Probably her bridesmaid for not stopping her from making the biggest mistake of her life.

She is in love with the attention of an engagement, she is in love with the idea of being in love and being married, but as you stated the reality is that its not fantasy, there are real issues that have to be dealt with.

When all goes south she is going to be looking in every direction but her own for the cause of the meltdown/breakdown/implosion. I would stay as far away as I could. She doesnt want advice and when this relationship does break down she is going to start looking for those closest to blame. Namely you and any other friend she can blame.

Sometimes people need their illusions shattered and you cant derail someone who is that determined.

Good luck

Post # 4
6256 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: March 2014

Her biological clock has probably turned into a time bomb, and I bet everyone she knows is getting married and she’s feeling left out and pressured by society and maybe family.

I am pretty sure the only cure for this malady is divorce. If he’s dumb enough to sign on to this life knowing how she is, then there’s not much helping him, and it doesn’t sound like there’s much helping her either.

When the fallout comes–and it will come–just be there for her and try to resist the urge to say I told you so.


Post # 5
2781 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

Ok, I’m confused, she has already been married before and divorced? or she’s just been engaged lots? 

Sounds like she is in love with the idea of being in love and has never actually felt the emotion yet. I have a friend who used to always say she was going to marry whoever her current boyfriend was, and claim to be engaged half the time, when she wasn’t. 

Post # 10
39 posts
  • Wedding: June 2013

Could romance novels or movies be playing a role? I have a friend who has a similar story. These books and movies gave her unrealistic expectations in the area of love and relationships.

Post # 11
7561 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: January 2013

You say you support her, but it seems like you’re just judging her instead. This is something she needs to figure out on her own, and by telling her what to do, you only risk ruining your relationship. Judgement gets the best of all of us sometimes, just try to be there for her while she’s going through all this. 

Post # 12
3572 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

@AlwaysSunny:  +1

I know it can be difficult to watch friends, family member, and loved ones make what seem like huge mistakes from the outside. The truth is though, they’re adults. As their loved one, you can say one time “Are you sure this is what you want” OR “I’m concerned…” before you shut up. Smile, trust in their ability to know what’s best for themelves, or in the learning experience they’re about to have. And honestly, you never know. You really don’t.

One of my good friends in grad school started dating a guy in like May, was engaged in July or August (I don’t remember) and got married like a year later. We were living abroad and it was definitely a whirlwind intercultural romance. Darling Husband (SO at the time) and I were like “woah! I’m not sure this is going to go well.” You know what? It’s 3 years later, they’ve been married for two, are happy as clams, and told me they’re expecting yesterday! I really think they are made for each other, and are a great team. And I’m SO GLAD that I kept fought my judgy feelings and didn’t try to talk her out of what seemed like a really insane, erratic decision to me and Darling Husband at the time!

The topic ‘BEST FRIEND OBSESSED WITH GETTING MARRIED’ is closed to new replies.

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