- 6 years ago
- Wedding: March 2012
I am a newlywed, got married in March this year.
I have this best friend who has be utterly obsessed with getting married, in all her tumultuous relationships I’ve tried to give her the best advice I could, we have had a long friendship over 30 years so I know her so well. She had a 2 year relationship with someone she was engaged to, when the relationship was in it’s infancy, after 4 months she gave the guy an ultimatum saying if they don’t get engaged before the end of that year she is changing the dynamic of the relationship. 2 months after they got engaged they moved in together and the wheels fell off the wagon, she wasn’t happy with many things, he was lazy, didn’t make an effort to help around the house, also not the most romantic type and he did need a kick up his backside to get going. After many fights about it, he did make an effort, obviously not up to her standards, she told me in November last year he is the right man for her, I could see she was trying to convince herself because in the June already I could see he doesn’t float her boat, he’s just a place holder and Mr Right Now instead of “Mr Right”. All that said and done, what a nice guy he was, really and he would have made a very good husband, she just wanted x, y and z and he couldn’t deliver on her expectations.
In August last year she broke it off, then later in the year he gave the ring back but hadn’t set a date yet and she was pushing for a date to be set. I said to her he knows the relationship is not in a good enough standing to do that so he is not doing anything wrong, he is being respectful waiting for them to get to that point, and that a date can’t be set if they aren’t ready. The relationship had been through a lot in 2 years and let’s face it she forced the engagement. She said she just wants to get married now! In the middle of January this year she broke it off, 3 weeks later she went on a blind date with someone, they started dating from the end of March and beginning of July this year were engaged, they are marrying in December.
She is 32 years old, this is the 5th guy in a row she has wanted to marry (although only her 3rd engagement). I never realised how bad her obsession was until she gave the last guy an ultimatum. She swears that it was all the new guy’s initiative regarding the engagement, she thew hints though showed him the last one’s engagement ring she had and even tried on the dress she had for her last fiance!!
This is very bizarre behaviour. All the friends are thinking phew, that was quick. I’m supposed to be her best friend I didn’t even meet him until the engagement party in July. It was like being at Mr and Miss Vanity’s party, his family and friends on one side of the room, hers on the other, her parents that I’ve known practically all my life never said one word like we are so happy for her, he’s such a nice guy, can’t wait for the wedding, not a single word!
I’m the only friend of hers honest enough to say listen here, it’s not normal to move so quickly emotionally from one man to the next, there is no rush for anything, take your time,get to know him properly.
He’s says and does all the right things, lots of flowers, fluff and stuff. He’s very vain (as she is although it doesn’t bother me about her because thats how I’ve always known her).
They don’t live togethr and have not slept together (for religious reason mostly from his side, although neither are virgins).
I worry after the wedding and some time into the marriage life is going to be such an anti climax for her because she lives in fantasy land.
Oh, she picked out her engagement ring before she even met the new guy. I found that scary.
As a result of my honesty, I didn’t crack the nod as bridesmaid, for her last weddign she regretted asking so many friends and said next time it’s just me, I found out in a round about way. I fully support her decisions I just thought it would be nice if she could have told me and I didn’t have to ask.