- 6 years ago
- Wedding: November 1999
Okay so first some backstory, my best friend and MOH and I have been friends for 5 years now we have gone through a lot inlcuding me getting divorced, her calling off an engagement, and plenty of boyfriends, as well as everyday issues, serious family issues and so much more. I love her to death I really do. Recently she got a new boyfriend, the knew each other when they were young and lost touch for like 10 years and recently got back in contact and got back together. Which is amazing because she is happy and I am happy for her, but they have only been dating for 6 months most of which were over skype because he was in kuwait and he got back into the states about a month ago, since then he went to see her once for a few days and she did the same and went down to see him once for a few days. They are in different states right now and she is moving in with him in 2 weeks and they plan to get married next month, again as long as she is happy I am, but on to my point…
About a year ago I moved away from where she lives to where I am currently and we have gone back and forth visiting etc. our friendship has remained very strong. I will be going to visit where she lives now(and I used to live) in about 3 weeks for my sister’s wedding, my BF said that she would come back up for while I am in town so I could see her, and since we planned this visit for me to come out there over 6 months ago(before she and her current SO even started dating, let alone planned to move in together). So when planning this visit I took a lot of time off work(unpaid time) so that I could spend it with her, otherwise I would have only come in town for the day of my sister’s wedding.
She knew I specifically took the time off so that I could see her, and then she calls me 2 days ago and tells me that she doesn’t think she is going to come back to town after she moves to see me while I am in town. I am so hurt by this it is unbelievable, but what is worse is since her and her SO started dating she has become obsessed with him. I know she is happy and in love but it is like her entire life revolves around him now and nothing else matters, I have never seen her act this way, ever, she has always been able to have a SO and a life outside of that relationship but for some reason she seems to have lost that ability.
I feel bad for feeling this way but I feel like I am losing my best friend and she doesn’t care about me anymore. She is dropping everything to go move in with him and on top of that everytime I talk to her she litterally doesn’t talk about anything except something cute he said/did today or how much she misses him or how in love with him she is, she doesn’t even ask how I am anymore or what is going on with the wedding, or even my life in general. I mean our conversations litterally go like this “omg SO did this today and it was so amazing, and he is so wonderful, and I miss him so much, oh he is calling me now gotta go love ya, bye” I wish that I was exaggerating about that but sadly that is the entire context of our conversations now.
Ugh I hate feeling this way but I don’t think it is right to just completely bail on everyone because you got a new bf and espically if you have been making plans to do something for the last 6 months and then you bail last minute after other people have already made sacrifices(and paid for plane tickets) just because you can’t wait to spend time with your new bf…wtf. Sorry this is so long but I don’t like feeling like this and I really am happy for her that she has found happiness but I feel like she just stopped caring about me, or anyone else for that matter, and I can’t make myself not feel hurt espically for bailing out on plans we made before her SO was even in the picture.
Am I just being a bitch or are my feelings justified? I really need some advice, normally she would be the one I would talk to but I obviously can’t in this situation, I don’t want to hurt her feelings but I also don’t want to spend the rest of my life just having to listen to her tell me how amazing her SO is and then bail on me so she can go be with him. Help please!