Post # 1
financially straind me is planning my wedding at the same time as my daddy’s- pocketboook-knows-no-bounds best friend. that being said, the majority of my wedding is diy. i am making my own centerpieces, aisle decor, and bridesmaid gifts. i have no problm sharing, until it comes to the 500 clay roses i made over the last 6 months. let me just add i’m not the most creative of creatures, so this was a big feat. well, she asked if she could borrow them, all 500. nicely, i told her real flowers were within her budget, but she’s dead set on my hard work. why? i’m not sure.
i have no reason not to let her borrow said flowers since her wedding is the month after mine, but i’m feeling kind of selfish since i was the one who sweated over them. i want to say no, but have no excuse not to and am not sure what to tell her.
am i being unreasonable?
Post # 3
I would tell her she can borrow them, but she has to split the cost of the materials with you. I think it’s only fair, and you get to use that money for other things in your wedding.
Post # 4
Tell her you will make her some if she pays for the cost of materials plus extra for your time.
Post # 5
Tell her you’ve decided to turn them into a rental business since they look so fabulous and you’re so excited she’s going to be your first customer. Then charge her an exorbitant fee so she changes her mind 😉
Post # 6
I don’t think you are being unreasonable. I wouldn’t let her do it. Tell her that you made those and are storing them away for YOUR wedding. Tell her that you would be happy to make her some of her own, but you would have to charge her for materials and labor.
Post # 7
I don’t think you’re being unreasonable either. I say go ahead and do it, but make sure you charge her. Look at it as a way to recoup the cost of your materials!
Post # 8
Offer to make her some if she pays you for time + materials. You don’t want to let her borrow yours; people have a habit of snagging things like that and centerpieces from weddings, and you don’t want to risk her guests taking your flowers or someone mishandling them and breaking them and then you have to make MORE for your wedding.
Post # 9
I wouldn’t let her borrow them. You put a ton of hard work into making them I am sure and if anything happens to them, you won’t have your wedding flowers anymore. I assume that you made them from clay so that you could keep them afterwards right? Some things just aren’t lendable and imho this is one of them.
Post # 10
no way. Nope don’t do it. She gotta pay if she wanna play.
Post # 11
Ok, I think you said her wedding is AFTER yours? So there’s no risk of them getting ruined, and not being there for your wedding.
I still think you have the right to say no for any reason, but you could voice a couple concerns
1) You’re worried that YOUR wedding guests might walk away with some of them, and you’d hate to pur HER in a lurch one month prior to her wedding
2) You’re sentimentally attached to them/plan to display them in your home etc, and would hate for them to get ruined/stolen at her wedding.
Post # 12
Hah, I would have offered to rent them to her, but that’s just me.
Post # 13
You’re not being unreasonable at all. i agree with PP about making her pay (either a [crazy high] rental fee or for time and materials for new ones). However, what I would do is just tell her you already sold them and have to ship them out right after your wedding.
Post # 14
If your unsure what to tell her, I would just say that they are very sentimental to you and that you dont want to risk anyone taking them home or them breaking but maybe offer to help her make some for her wedding if she wants.
Post # 15
I would ask yourself why you want to say no to her. If the wedding is after yours and she’s willing to split the cost with you, why not let her borrow them if you’re good friends? She obviously loves the work you’ve done if she’s asking to use them and not going to her “pocketboook-knows-no-bounds daddy” instead for real flowers.
If she hasn’t done anything to undermine or insult your wedding plans or ideas, I wouldn’t get caught up on the fact you’ve had to DIY many of your ideas compared to her “buying-it-herself”. I wouldn’t put my friendship on the line because of that. Again, it would all depend on how she’s acted towards me during the wedding planning process.
Post # 16
@Nati-Lyte: It doesn’t sound like she wanted to split any costs or anything, just borrow them straight up.
I can kind of see where the OP is coming from, that it’s like… she can buy whatever she wants that I can’t have, but I can put my blood, sweat and tears into these, and then she just wants them too without any effort.
I’d have my panties in a twist too.