Weddingbee boards

I hope this is the right place to put this.  Let me know if it's not.

My boyfriend of two years proposed this past March.  I keep a blog about the wedding planning for my long-distance family and friends (I was asked to), but the only person who's opinion I actually want is my best friend's.  The problem is that she's upset about it.  Not just about my engagement, but that three of her other friends are engaged now, too.  She's upset that she's the only one who is not engaged and has no boyfriend.  I feel bad for being happy and excited when she's so upset, but I know I shouldn't feel bad about it.  And it's been five months, so I feel like it's time for her to get over it.  I try to avoid the topic of the wedding anymore because she makes it miserable.  I have asked her so many times if it bothers her that I'm engaged and if I'm allowed to talk to her about it and she always says that she's fine and wants to hear about it, but then she gets upset and either ignores me or suddenly has to go do something when I do talk about it.  She also keeps getting on her blog and complains about how depressing it is that people are engaged and that she thinks people our age shouldn't be allowed to get married because people our age just aren't very mature (I'm twenty-two and will be twenty-three at the wedding).  She also claims that she would never get married at our age because she doesn't feel that she is mature enough.  

I can't just keep avoiding the topic of the wedding and I'm afraid I'm going to blow up and hurt her feelings (she keeps texting me saying things like, "being around all of these engaged people is depressing").  I just don't feel like I'm allowed to be happy.  And if it's this bad now, what happens when I'm actually married or if I have children?  What am I supposed to do about this?  Is she right to be upset with me over it? I love her to death, but at the moment I would really like to slap her.

If you ask me, she is not showing many friend-like qualities right now. This should be such a happy time in your life and if she is your friend, she should be happy for you! I am also a younger bride to be and have found a little resistance to my engagement and wedding. I'm sure its hard for her to be the only one not engaged right now but that does not give her the right to try to make you feel bad about being engaged. I know wedding planning can consume my conversations and I'm sure its the same with everyone else. Try to discuss other things but if the wedding comes up or you want her opinion, give her a chance to be your friend. If not, move on to someone else. I'm sure you have tons of other friends who would love to help you plan. Maybe she will come around in the later months but if not, it might be a sign to spend less time with her and most likely less time hoping you are not gonna accidently hurt her feelings.

Thanks for all of the help, all of you.

I do want to clear up one thing.  I don't generally talk about the wedding - I'm not one of those "brides-to-be" who has nothing else on her mind.  I hadn't started doing any real planning until about two weeks ago, so it's not like it's all I ever talk about, quite the opposite.  I've only mentioned it a handful of times to her.  I just wanted to make that clear, so you know I'm not bombarding her with, "I want this cake and this dress and omg it's so nice and my bridesmaids will wear this these flowers are pretty omg omg omg." I'm actually still in the stage where I may or may not just go to the courthouse, because I'm not a girly person and I don't particularly enjoy weddings.

Ok.  I just wanted you all to understand that I'm not torturing her with details.  I've been tiptoeing around her emotions since the engagement. 

Now, a couple of you have mentioned that she may be jealous and lonely, which I understand.  I wanted to answer a question one of you asked about whether or not she has ever had a boyfriend.  She doesn't have boyfriends because she insists on locking herself up in her grandmother's basement (she's living with her to save money until she finishes college) and playing on the computer.  She's a perfectly nice, cute, dateable girl; she just doesn't want to fix herself up or meet new people (I know she's shy and I completely sympathize, since I'm also extremely shy around new people).  On the very rare occasion that she does meet someone, she dresses as frumpy as she possibly can, as if she wants to be unattractive to him. 

It doesn't seem logical to me that she would be jealous that I have someone and she doesn't, but that she insists on setting herself up to not have someone.  So...I'm not sure if the problem is that she's jealous, because she seems like she doesn't care to have a boyfriend.  Do you have any other ideas?

Maybe that's it MrBee; though she still has plenty of friends.

Whatever it is that's been going on with her, she's been fine the last few days.  I haven't mentioned the wedding to her (not that there's much to mention right now ).

Oh!  I almost forgot, though.  She did talk to me the other night and tell me how she was feeling about her other friends getting married.  She has a couple who she thinks are way too immature for reasons I don't know (I don't know these friends).  She specifically mentioned that she was not upset about my engagement, which I hope is true.  I don't know what exactly possessed her to tell me this out of the blue (we had been talking about our cats or something similarly inconsequential only seconds before, so it was quite a switch).  We talked a little about it and I think we both feel a little better.

In the end, I think you were all right in some way.  She's upset about losing friends, but I think she is really wondering why she can't find someone.  Well, no...I know she feels that way because she asked me why it was her more unintelligent, immature friends are finding men and she can't.  I wasn't entirely sure how to answer that.... But, in the end, I think she felt a little better.

Thanks for all your help!