"Best friend's" wedding and family dramas

posted 3 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Hostess
30313 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

@Old_chick:  🙁 Hugs! Sorry to hear that you don’t have a close relationship with your sister.  I don’t know, my gut instincts are that if your best friend is also friends with your sister, then you might just have to put your family differences behind you and all enjoy his wedding day…

Post # 4
Member
654 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

I totally understand how you feel, but this wedding is a one time thing, and should be about him and his bride, not your family drama. If he is good friends with your sister, he shouldn’t have to exclude her for you.  I do agree it was kind of lame not to at least give you a heads up, but maybe he was afraid of how you would respond. 

Post # 5
Member
7400 posts
Busy Beekeeper

My only advice would be to suck it up. Your friendship should trump your dislike for his guests. Please do not put your friend in the awkward position of having to choose between the two of you. You may not like the outcome.

 

Post # 6
Member
6505 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

@j_jaye:  +1

I wouldn’t discuss my guests with people and ask for their permission to invite someone. Perhaps you can make a request to not be at the same table.

Post # 7
Member
7197 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@Old_chick:  Perhaps he has stayed friends with your sister all these years?

In that case, your friend has done exactly the right thing. A question often comes up on this site, “Two of my potential guests hate each other (e.g. divorced parents), what should I do?”. Except in extreme cases (like one is an abuser and the other is their victim), consensus is always the same: Don’t choose sides, invite everyone you want to, and if anyone stays away, it is up to them.

It sounds to me that your friend has done exactly that: refused to take sides and invited you both. Just because he is friends with your sister, does not mean he is not still your friend.

So I guess your choices are to request to be seated well away from your sister, or stay away if your sister attends. I suggest the former. You don’t need to talk to your sister.

Post # 8
Member
2788 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@Old_chick:  You need to stop looking at this like you’re the victim. There is no victim here, this friend wants people he cares about at his wedding and that happens to include your sister. After 15 years of being close friends with him what would you expect, of course he’s managed to feel close to your family too.

My Moh and I have been good friends for since the first day of grade 9, wellover 10 years ago. In the time of our friendship O’ve come to consider her family as an extension of my own. All of her family is invited to my wedding and I couldn’t imagine getting married without them there. 

Post # 9
Member
855 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2008

@Old_chick:  Why do you feel like he needs to discuss his guest list with you? Your family issues are yours, not his. If you feel like there is going to be some drama you don’t want to deal with, stay home. He’s obviously built a relationship with both of you and quite honestly, not telling you that was what he was SUPPOSED to do since he knows there’s some tension. Now, you can be a grown up, go enjoy your friend’s wedding and go home or you can decide that you don’t want to see them and stay home. Either is your choice, but don’t for a minute put this on him.

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