Post # 1
My best friend has decided to get married in June however my nieces high school graduation is on the same day…in different states.
The wedding was in the works with the date set, location, flowers, dresses, etc and then the plans were put on hold and the date to be changed due to fights and the couple to break up. I was asked to be in the wedding and accepted at the time.
During the time when the wedding was off I made the plans to attend my nieces graduation in Flordia. It will also be my familys annual vacation. Since the wedding was off I did not feel bad about making the plans or purchasig tickets.
My niece and I being only three years apart in age are abnormally close like best friends more than aunt and niece and I love my best friend to death, but not the guy she is marrying.
I know a wedding is a bigger deal than a graduation, but my niece is not planning to attend college so this could be the only one she has. Kowing my friend like I do this could be only her first wedding and not her last.
Do I pick my best friend or my niece? Should I be expected to change my plans to accomadate my best friend again whose plans may chage again? Do I just talk to her and tell her the situation? What to do?
Post # 3
I think you should go to your niece’s graduation. Essentially, you committed to it. You made plans when the wedding had been called off. You had no way of knowing the wedding would ever happen. Your friend should understand. If I were your niece and you told me you were coming to my graduation and then you changed your mind, however, my feelings would be hurt.
Post # 4
I feel like wedding trumps HS graduation. BUT I also feel from the way you’ve worded this that you’d actually rather do the graduation.
Post # 5
@amandalillian: Best friend’s wedding, every time. I don’t think extended family needs to attend a graduation. In fact I’ve never understood the big deal with watching someone spending a few seconds walking up and receiving a diploma. (My own brother and sister didn’t attend mine, and I didn’t attend theirs).
Post # 6
@aussiemum1248: Even when all of your extended family was at yours?
Post # 7
@amandalillian: normally a bf’s wedding would trump a family graduation but in this case it may be a bit different.
what is your gut telling you?
Post # 8
@amandalillian: Well in my case they didn’t. But I would fully understand my brother or sister missing my graduation (or my birthday or pretty well anything else except my or children’s weddings) for their own best friend’s wedding.
Post # 9
- Wedding: June 2015 - Malibou Lake Mountain Club
@amandalillian: well; are you close to your Niece and/or family? Kinda sounds like you do not want to go to your BF’s wedding by how you worded the post: “Kowing my friend like I do this could be only her first wedding and not her last.”
It truly is up to you to see what is more important; also, expenses and who will understand more about not attending their celebration.
Post # 10
Normally wedding is more important than graduation. The couple was on A BREAK when you made your plans for your niece. so i think you’re fine going to your niece’s graduation and family vacation.
Post # 11
@mypinkshoes: That I should go to my nieces possibly one and only graduation, but I’m also completely torn.
Post # 12
@amandalillian: Niece. I don’t think a wedding is a bigger deal than a graduation, and your friend had canceled the wedding at the time you decided to attend the graduation in any case. Plus, your niece is blood.
ETA: This is assuming you are close to your niece.
Post # 13
@amandalillian: normally I would say wedding – none of my extended family attended my graduation from High School (except my grandmother) or univeristy (except my grandfather) and NONE of my family came to my second university graduation (except FH) because my dad and step mom were at her brothers wedding in another country and my mom was home with my sister who was due with my nephew 2 days later.
BUT in this case, it sounds like you don’t want to go to the wedding, your niece sounds kind of like your BFF. I’m guessing you’re 21 based on what you said…who do you see being a bigger part of your like 10 years from now? That’s the event I would choose.
Post # 14
@amandalillian: I would pick my niece’s graduation every time! My niece and I are not too far off in age, and are super close as well.
Post # 15
@amandalillian: go to your nieces.
Post # 16
@Glorificous: Very, we see each other and do trips and vacations together all the time.