Best Girlfriend Want to Spend the Night with Fiance and I!! What to do?

posted 3 years ago in Family
Post # 3
1482 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2013 - Creek club at ion, SC

Id let her stay like 1 night but tell her that you and fi need some alone time that week to reconnect and plan baby stuff. Hide all the pills in your house and wait it out …its one night. 

Post # 4
10219 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

Read this part again…

 Anywho, she is a friend that is sort of messing up in life. She has no job, no  car, she always tries to borrow either money from us ( because my fiance has a  good job and she thinks we’re rich but we are not ) always tries to basically  mooch off us and it upsets me because my fiance works hard for us and i will not  let her take advantage of his kindness ( he cant say no ) She also had 3 kids of  her own that live with their grandparents in Georgia because something had  happened where her boyfriend that fathered two of the children went to jail. So  now she lives off this younger guy that she is dating, she does pills ( pain  killers ) even though she thinks i don’t know. So she is a HUGE mooch. She  always has been


Ok, lets get this right…

Drug addict who has had her 3 Children removed from her and they all live with the GrandParents (his side), their Father is in Jail.

She has Parents in the same town as you… but wants to stay at yours.

Ummm, NO

This girl is an addict and not to be trusted.

She clearly has shown you WHO she is.

To even entertain this idea as a Pregnant Woman, leaves my jaw on the floor.

IF you feel you must be nice to her, socialize cause you “remember when” (Grade 4) then meet her somewhere for Coffee.

But she sure as H3LL wouldn’t be visiting my home or staying over.

Not now, probably not ever.

There are NO NICE WORDS to be said.


Sweetie, ya gotta grow a back bone… You are about to be a WIFE & MOTHER… you need to look out for the welfare of your family.

(( HUGS ))


Post # 5
140 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: December 2018

Sometimes in life you just ‘outgrow’ your friends. I am afraid that she may be one of them!. Friends should be people that add enjoyment and furfilment to your life. You should share common interests. It sounds like this friend has become like a leech- and sucks your time, energy and money out of you and your relationship. This is one friendship that I would let go off. As you are getting married, you can always say that, that weekend you are going to FI parent’s place and won’t be home, or leaving town to do wedding planning/ dress shopping.

All the best to you!

Post # 6
7055 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@This Time Round:  Exactly this.

A stable friend? Sure. But a friend with a drug habit, a reputation for mooching, and at least two other options? No. Too much chance for trouble.

Post # 10
10219 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

TO @sweetp813:  glad I could help (be your inner voice)

Seriously this woman has a lot of issues… I mean really, think about it, she is the mother to 3 kids.  If their Father is in jail, if she had her sh!t half together she’d have those kids.  She doesn’t.  Has to be a good reason for that.  If the courts won’t even give her her own kids, I sure as H3LL wouldn’t want her around any of mine…

No time like the present to cut the strings…

Marriage changes things in many ways, and one of those ways is becoming a new social unit… you as a couple will leave old friends behind, and make new ones.  This is the ideal time to “wean” her out of your circle.

Lol, as someone else said, just blame it on being A Bride… so much to do, so many details, busy, busy, busy… milk it for all you can if need be.


Post # 11
3637 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

…why are you friends with this person? What do YOU get from this friendship? Is it just a pity friendship? (I’ve been guilty of those myself). If so, cut ties, you don’t need this stress in your life. Better to cut things now then try and keep her out of your house with your baby inside. 

Edited for typos

Post # 13
236 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

She’s not your friend if she is taking advantage of you.

However, if you are a wuss like me, you love your friends unconditionally. Learn to love her from afar. You have a baby on the way… do you really want your child around her if she is acting like that? Set boundaries while you can. If you have to, let her stay one night and say you guys can do lunch another day if she is lonely and bored. Just tell her you are busy the other days. You don’t have to give an explanation.

Post # 14
844 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

“Oh god, I’m sorry, but our house is in chaos at the minute what with all the baby prep. Maybe another time?”

Post # 15
146 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

She’s your “best girlfriend” but you say these things? They may be true but if they are why is she your “best girlfriend”? I’m a bit confused on this

Post # 16
91 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@sweetp813:  wow~ that’s a tough situation because it’s your friend. However, I agree with the other bees… no no no. It seems cut throat and mean (and I’m a softy like you) but this seems like a toxic relationship. If she’s taking drugs and can’t take care of herself, don’t be that crutch for her. You’ll end up being her crutch forever. With a baby on the way and fiance to take care of, you don’t need another person to worry about. Plus, I don’t mean to assume but from what you posted about your friend’s personality, 2-3 days could turn into weeks if she feels comfortable there. It’s not like she doesn’t have any other option so don’t feel bad about it. Just kindly say you have a lot going on right now and it might be better for her to stay with her parents. Good luck!

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