Post # 1
A year ago when I got engaged, we selected our current wedding party. Since then, I’ve had 1 bridesmaids drop out on her own accord and have an empty spot to fill. I wanted to ask my friend A. Subsequently, A asked me to be her Maid of Honor. I know I don’t HAVE to ask her back, but was wanting to anyway so this just added fuel to the fire.
The wrinkle is that the Best Man dated A 3 years ago briefly, but she was his first love and he was very hurt by her. We’ve tried hashing it out every which way and the Best Man’s response has been steady: “It’s her or me”. He’s explained he feels like he can’t perform his duties as Best Man well if she’s in the bridal party even though we’ve assured him they would not have to interact, due to the large size of the bridal party. The Best Man maintains he probably would not have accepted position as Best Man if he knew she was going to be in the bridal party.
I’m a stickler for etiquette, but really want A in my bridal party. However, I feel like my bigger obligation is to the Best Man considering we asked him a year ago.
Post # 3
I think the best man should grow up and accept that she is your friend and it is your wedding and you can have anyone you want in the wedding party. It has been three years. He needs to just put it behind him. I am sorry if that seems harsh, but that is just the way I feel about it. If it was me, I would be the one telling him that he needs to grow up and just deal with it. It is not his wedding. It is your’s and your FI’s wedding. What does your FI say. BTW, your wedding date that you have listed has passed???
Post # 4
@noritake22: We had to postpone the wedding and I forgot to update the date. Haven’t been on here in awhile. Thanks for the advice and the reminder!
Post # 5
I agree with noritake. It was 3 years ago!!!! They dated briefly!!!! It’s not like they were married and she cheated on him and is bringing the guy she did it with as a date, a week after the divorce is finalised. The best man needs to get over himself and grow a pair. You’ve got a year until the wedding which gives him ample time to do that 🙂
Post # 6
I am now going on my second wedding where I have to stand up with an ex! As much as I would not rather do this, its a part of being an adult. I also want to be there for my friend. The BM needs to act like an adult, he is just making himself look so much more foolish!