Post # 1
I am just beyond annoyed and frustrated. Our wedding is next Friday and yesterday the Best Man called to tell us that he won’t be able to make our wedding. That of course also means that his wife will not be able to attend.
I figured it was because his wife is 7 months pregnant and I would be okay with that. I mean it’s a 7 hour drive to our wedding for them and I wouldn’t want to be in a long car ride if I was pregnant, but that’s not the reason….
It’s because….. he FORGOT to put in his leave request and now his work won’t let him take off! He then told us that his work is short staffed and other people have already requested leave, so they rejected his request. I’m sorry that your co-workers had the insight to request leave months in advance!
Everyone has known about the date since March and we have continued to remind all the guests since it’s on a Friday. So I just can’t understand why he waitied until a week before to request it!
I feel like we have been basically told that we do not matter to him because of this carelessness. And that his nearly 30 year friendship with my FI meant absolutely nothing to him. So we decided not to have attendants because of this, which is fine because we only invited 18 people and my SIL is fine with not standing up with me. I just feel bad for my FI as he’s not really close with his family and the one person he really wanted to be there for him, can’t be there.
Post # 3
I would be livid too. Eeks.
Post # 4
I’m sorry you’re dealing with this. A big part of me wants to believe that perhaps his wife really is the reason that they aren’t coming – but she didn’t want to take the blame, so he made something up about his work so that she didn’t feel guilty for them not attending.
Post # 5
@ellejay16: men are weird like this though. I told my FH a year ago about a wedding that we’re going to Labour Day weekend. He’s not really supposed to take time off that week because his annual budget it due the following week. I had to remind him dozens of times. I think he finally booked it about 3 weeks ago. I don’t think it speaks to the value he puts on your relationship as much as it speaks to him being male and not getting these things.
It really sucks that your best man can’t be there, and I totally get where you’re coming from. I hope you can find a stand in.
Post # 6
@ellejay16: what an Ass! Get your shit together man! I would be pissed. why not have your SIL still stand up for you? She may be a little hurt if the only reason was some loser couldn’t get his time off worked out.
Post # 7
I call BS – unless he works at a place where he makes minimum wage (usually the least tolerant bosses) or he’s a physician (even then…) I have a hard time believing a job wouldn’t give him a day off to be a BEST MAN.
Blame the wife and shame on her if that’s what happened because, as a wife, she should understand how shitty that is.
Post # 8
Ugh oh my God, I would be so furious. I’m so sorry!!! That really stinks.
Post # 10
@ellejay16: I’m going to give the unpopular opinion here and say while I understand that this is really upsetting and puts you in a bind, you have to remember–your wedding is the most important thing in *your* life right now but the most important thing in his life is a new baby on the way. Maybe he needs to work to save up for that, but he wasn’t sure how to tell you. It sucks that he didn’t prepare earlier, but there’s no guarantee even then he would be given that time off. If other people can’t be there beause of illness or whatever, his request could be declined at the last minute even if he put it in months earlier (I’ve seen this happen more than once). And I’m sure this move isn’t meant to show his friendship with your FI means ‘nothing’. It sucks, yes. But maybe there’s more going on than just forgetting and he wasn’t sure how to tell you. Either way, I’m sure your wedding will be wonderful and while your FI is disappointed, you two will have a spectacular day!
Post # 11
@MrsYokiman: I would completely have understood if he could not make the wedding because of the baby along the way. The baby would have been a justifiable explanation, but not the I forgot to put in my leave.
Post # 12
The ex best man is a big boy – if there is more going on then he should have told them. Otherwise he should be prepared for the bride and groom to think he’s a jerk. He had a responsibility and he royally fucked up. You can still be a best man in a wedding with a baby coming out of the womb in 2 months.
Post # 14
What a jerk. I would have just called out sick.
Post # 15
This reminds me of a bazillion years ago when my brother got married in a city 3 hours from mine. I started a new job about 6 months before the wedding and in both the interview and hiring process, I explained that I would need that weekend off. No problem. Hired.
Cue week before wedding when bartender schedule goes up and it clearly states I have the weekend off. One of my co-workers marched up to me and said ‘I hate to break it to you but you don’t have next weekend off. You have to work Saturday night for me.’ I politely informed her that wasn’t happening as I was leaving town for my brother’s wedding. Cue major meltdown / temper tantrum. Turns out, she planned a big ol’ surprise party for her boyfriend (of a few months) and forgot to book that day off. Ooops. Not my prob. She went on a major rampage and just could not believe that I had the audacity to not agree to cover for her. It’s my. brother’s. wedding. Seriously?!?
Of course, everyone backed me up. Management, co-workers, even customers she had the gall to vent to. The depth of her self-involvement was absolutely breath-taking! She 120% believed she was in the right and that her event should take precedence over mine. Crazy.
Post # 16
@ellejay16: (hugs). That’s really crappy of him. I’m sorry.