(Closed) Best man is about to get on my last nerve…long vent

posted 7 years ago in Grooms/men
Post # 3
602 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

It may be possible that best men are just universally difficult. Maybe there are bees out there with amazing best men, but you hear a lot of horror stories. We’re having some difficulty with ours too.

I think that you should talk to your Fiance about it and then if you both agree, offer to let the current best man step down in favour of this other guy. Explain to the current best man that the position carries responsibilities (being at the rehearsal, being responsible for the rings, making a speech, etc.) that he doesn’t seem prepared to fulfill.

Good luck!

Post # 4
941 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I agree with @Jenniferk6 about speaking with your fiance first and then clearly laying out details and expecations of the best man before making a decision.  I think often people don’t know what they’re getting themselves into (especially guys who I don’t think often pay attention to happenings in the wedding world).  And it may be a relief to the current best man to have some responsibility taken off of his shoulders.  

It sounds like you and your fiance have clear ideas about what you would like the role to be, and that’s fair.  And if there is someone who is willing to participate in those responsibilits, there’s no reason not to benefit from that.

Good luck!  Little things like this are definitely stressful no matter what, though especially during that home stretch.

Post # 5
1271 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

i agree with both PPers, but i wanted to add that when it comes time for talking to the current Bridesmaid or Best Man, your Fiance should be the one doing it.  it’s not even like they’re huge responsibilities…they pretty much just have to BE THERE, and if he can’t even handle that…

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