Best man keeps telling FI that "he's stuck". VENT

posted 3 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
42117 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@MrsSweetT:  Relax! Some guys like to tease.  My Dad told me all the way down the aisle “It’s not too late to change your mind.”

 Is some illegal Mexican girl  really necessary to make your point?

Post # 4
6449 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

Honestly, I feel think quite a few guys make this joke. They think it’s funny for some reason. I really don’t think he’s saying this because he’s jealous. 


Post # 5
2593 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2009

Just let it go.  He probably thinks he’s being hilarious.  But if you blow your top on him, he will keep asking your FI that, only he’ll be SERIOUS.  If your FI has a problem with it, he can shut the guy down, but you need to stay out of it.

Post # 7
3433 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2012 - The Gables Inn, Santa Rosa, CA

@MrsSweetT:  It sounds like you’ve got a lot more issues with him than just his comments to your FI.  Have you tried talking to FI about your concerns? 

I had to do this with DH when we were first planning our party, his original thought was to ask one of his oldest friends and his reason for wanting to ask him was that he’s kind of an “always the bridesmaid, never the bride” kind of person.  His life is mediocre at best and especially at the time, his love life was pretty sad.  So, DH thought it would make his friend feel happy to finally be the one who got “picked” for something. 

Well, I think the guy is kind of a jerk, and early in our relationship the guy did some pretty inapproriate things in regards to me and DH had to kind of put him in his place and spell out that the way he was treating me was inappropriate.  Not exactly the kind of guy I want standing next to my future husband as he devotes his life to mine. 

Anyway, once I had explained my concerns to DH he understood and asked a different friend instead who ended up doing a great job. 

Post # 8
1737 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2014 - 13th ~ TN

@MrsSweetT:  Agree with PP, it is a guy thing

Post # 9
3586 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

I think if he can’t play nice and pretend to be supportive of your marriage, he has no business being the best man at your wedding.  If any of my friends even joked about me “turning back” before I got married, I’d tell them to go fuck themselves.

Post # 10
84 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@MrsSweetT:  I hate that “he’s being a boy” BS excuse. People seem to give jerks like this a  pass because, Oh well, “Boys will be boys,” etc.  Yes – once is a joke. Multiple times of recycling the same lame joke is being a dink on purpose. 

Honestly – I would have your FI tell his friend that he’s the one with the illegitimate child, so yeah, he’s the one who’s stuck. Give it right back to him and he’ll shut up. 

If this guy believes that your FI is stuck, why is he willing to stand beside FI on your wedding day?  Ugh. That is annoying and I can see why you’re tired of it. 

Post # 11
1466 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

@MrsSweetT:  I think it’s totally valid to feel pissed about this guy. Totally. I feel for you. It sucks that he’s in your wedding. This behavior is really unrespectful and stems from sexist notions about… I’m just going to stop here and send you this for some validation:

Really, I need to echo julies1949, it was not necessary to talk about some illegal Mexican girl

Post # 16
1494 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

It’s probably a “guy’s thing” but I think you should talk to your FI and let him know how you feel about this.

And… im mexican… so while i also dont agree of people traveling illegaly to other countries… that kinda stung, lol. I know you weren’t trying to offend anyone (and you didnt offend me, i just found it a little stingy), but i just wanted to say we’re not all like that. Then again i don’t even live in USA.

Hope you can sort that issue with your FI’s friend, good luck.

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