Best man not a man

posted 3 years ago in Grooms/men
Post # 3
Member
11 posts
Newbee

Best man is that when he have patience in the wrong talk

Post # 4
Member
254 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

Im sorry, usually I am on the side of chill out its a bachlor party. My FI has mostly female friends and I could careless. 

But in this case there would be four options. 

1. She is not going to be involved.

2. He is not going

3. We do a joint jack and jill so I feel comfortable with it (and can supervise)

4. He goes with her, and will come home to an empty house.

Sorry I’m really comfortable with other women around my man, and I trust him completely but if anything like what you discribed happened in front of me (drunk or not no excuse) that would be the last time they hung out without me there.

 

Post # 5
Member
7193 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@Tigerlilybride:  I think you need to insist that either (a) the bachelor party is a male only affair, so someone else can organise it, or (b) the bachelor party is a mixed affair, and you are invited too. This whole idea that he parties with another girl but without you, doesn’t seem right to me.

The fact that he asked her to take off clothing – ** even with your present ** – says to me he is still attracted to her. That alone is enough reason for you to insist he does not go partying with her unless you are present.

Post # 6
Member
1482 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2013 - Creek club at ion, SC

If this girl is as much of a hard core party goer im pretty sure she couldnt care less whether you want strippers or not. If she wants them there theyll be there no matter how many threats you send her way. 

You say you trust but its clear that you cant trust him when hes drunk. Trust is something earned and although youve forgiven him, his past action havent exactly helped build it. Not only that but its not just him you have to look out for its her. 

Put your foot down now before anything happens and before these parties become a regular habit in your marriage

Post # 7
Member
3424 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

My FIs best man is a girl too. But…its his sister, not a girl he once had feelings for and obviously has an attraction to. Hmmmm. It rubs me the wrong way

Post # 8
Member
3570 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Post # 9
Member
1340 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

Sorry, but I think having a “best man” that is a woman is bullshit. The “best woman” is THE BRIDE. Period!

And you’ve let this business go on even though he’s had feelings for this woman in the past? WTF?

Post # 11
Member
110 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@Tigerlilybride:  How long ago was this drinking games affair? 

I don’t agree with the PP – we have a similar situation – I have a man of honor, my FI has a best maid. I suggest you talk at length with your FI about it and try to find a solution. Just don’t say things like “either her or me”, they usually don’t work. Bachelor parties are usually not for cheating, so try to relax.

Post # 12
Member
928 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2015

It doesn’t sound like she has shown any interest in your FI throughout their friendship. She doesn’t sound like a threat here but it feels like your uneasy about any potential attraction is on your FI’s end. Do you only distrust him when he is drunk around this one woman or just when he’s drunk in general? 

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