(Closed) Best Man’s wife is leaving him!

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
2867 posts
Sugar bee

I would just kindly offer to pay for it, like have your Fiance ask him in private.  As for your other groomsmen, it’s your money and I’m sure they don’t need to know the details of why you’re assisting in cost of it.  They don’t even have to know that you and your fiance are paying for it.

Post # 4
1927 posts
Buzzing bee

I’m so sorry to hear that.  Honestly, I would just sort of remove your wedding from your thought process.  Just be there for him the same way you would if your wedding wasn’t around the corner.  I think it’s completely fine if you pay for him and his son and not the other groomsmen.  They don’t need to know, and even if they do.. I would think they would all be extremely understanding given the circumstances.  Your Fiance is still his best friend and he will still want to participate in your wedding, just probably not focus on it all the time.  You guys are so sweet to let him stay with you until he figures out a permenant situation… just continue to support his needs and you’ll be fine.

Also… his wife sounds like a real biatch.  If she is going to try to demand child support I think he is better off to try to fight for custody!

Post # 5
7054 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2010

First of all you two are amazing to be so supportive of Bridesmaid or Best Man.  He is going to go through alot right now.

It is going to be hard for him, and maybe emotionally to see a wedding.  I remember singing at a friends’ wedding when I was barely separated and had to focus on the cross at the other end of the church sanctuary to just get thru the song without weeping.  (singing “The Lords’ Prayer”).

Be very very understanding.  Also, her statement of “I don’t feel the spark anymore” is very telling.  That’s the exact words a friend of mine (the guy from the encore couple I wrote about last year) got from his wife before he found out about her activities.  They were able to work it through, and eventually remarried and are happier than ever.  Just a suggestion to him, introduce him maybe to marriagebuilders.com if he is interested in attempting to reconcile with her or save things.  It’s just that whole “I love you but not in love with you” or the “I don’t feel a spark” thing means they’re feeling it..but many times because they’ve explored this feeling maybe with another.

I am sure guys will be very supportive of their fellow gm who is going thru a rough patch.  Just be there and give him love and support.  Fwiw, she needs (the w) to realize that just because she is a stay at home mom, she will have to go to work most likely now.  Does she realize that?  Just keep your FI’s bff/BM grounded and listen alot.

When I was first separated, I moved back home to TN and stayed with my sis and bil for a few weeks and surrounded myself with friends.  That part was amazing until I had actually healed a little enough to take a few breaths and decide what the heck was I going to do.  Having people around to talk to and be around and knowing they support you makes all the difference.

Hugs to you and Fiance for being such good friends!   

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