Post # 1
- Wedding: June 2010 - parent's backyard
I’m placing this under wellness because I think I may have to kill my husband if this doesn’t get resolved soon….
I am a super light sleeper, and my DH is a twitchy sleeper. His movements – even small ones – will wake me up if I’m in a light sleep mode. It’s super annoying. We are in the market for a new mattress that has absolutely no bounce to it — as in, if he moves around a little, I will hopefully not feel it at all.
From what I’ve learned online, it looks like I need to look for a mattress with zero “motion transfer”, and that may be achieved with individual pocketed coils (plus, the higher number of coils, the better). But then aftter that, it gets really confusing. Like memory foam vs natuarl latex. or what brand is the best & most reliable? I don’t know!! I feel like I can’t find good, reliable info on this stuff.
So anyway, before I embark on the horrible task of going to showrooms, can anyone out there make any recommendations?
Here are the top priorities:
- Zero motion transfer – so I can’t feel him moving around
- Firm mattress that’s good for side sleepers
- no pillow top. I don’t trust them.
- built to last – I’d like to hang on to this thing as long as possible
some other info: I’m getting a super solid platform bed frame, and I’m thinking of doing without the box spring, since they seem to add bounce. also, we’re upgrading to a king size, because I’m hoping that putting a little physical distance will help with the movement issue too.
anyway, sorry this is long. advice?
Post # 3
I’m a super light sleeper too, and my boyfriend twitches too! What is wrong with them?? lol
I have a few suggestions:
1. I have a hard time falling asleep normally, so I take 1 Benadryl about 1/2 hour before bedtime. Benadryl is harmless, it just makes you slightly sleepy. Obviously ask your doctor first, just in case, but it REALLY helps.
2.) Memory foam is awful. It gets soooo warm and it makes you sweaty… and if you’re slightly overweight, it’ll make you fall in the middle. Like a taco mattress. Gross.
3.) Those “sleep number” beds are just inflatable mattresses underneathe a mattresses topper. I don’t trust their quality, and have heard horror stories (like they deflate in the middle of the night… much like an inflatable mattress would… and you have to keep re-inflating it).
4.) The higher coil count thing doesnt mean anything. It’s just fancy-sounding jargon that mattress companies use to try and make them sound better.
We just went to a mattress store, and took our time laying down on them, having the BF shuffle around while I lay still. It just took trial and error until we found a lovely one. You definitely get what you pay for. The cheaper mattresses we tried were awful, and BOUNCY like crazy. Our mattress ended up costing us $699, for a (queen size) and was worth every penny.
Post # 4
They make memory foam now with this crazy heat whick layer that supposedly works unbelievably well, but it’s much more expensive and I haven’t tried it. I hated the latex one we tried out, but the motion transfer was minimal.
Also, this is weird, but we tried it for a bit and are thinking about going back to it when we move next month (this one’s borrowed): two XL twin mattresses side by side are the same size as a king. We had both inside a king bed frame. It was like a sleep number but not an overpriced inflatable monster. Of course, it works a lot better at limiting motion transfer when the SO doesn’t always try to crawl onto my side to get snuggles in his sleep.
Post # 5
I would love to see the responses to this as well. I worked with this guy who said he had a Temperpedic bed, and he said it was the best investment he ever made. No more sore back, can’t feel any motion. I don’t know much about them other than that they are pretty pricey.
Post # 6
I’m curious about this, but not for me. I sleep like the dead and neither my husband or I move in our sleep, so this isn’t really an issue. But I am interested in the subject.
I’m not 100% sure what sort of bed we have. We do have some motion transfer but it isn’t too bad. We also have a king size, so if we need our “personal space” we just scoot over a bit. Twitchy sleeping can also be caused by other factors — is your SO too hot? Is the bed too soft?
I turn into a literal furnace at night, my husband sometimes jokes that I’ll burn through the bed, so I usually have to sleep in minimal clothing without a blanket and it calms me right down and I sleep deeper.
Post # 7
I looooooove memory foam. I don’t find that it gets any hotter than a normal mattress? Granted we just have a topper, but we also have pillows that we can’t sleep without anymore. You do have to let them air/stretch out when you get them because they’re packed down into a box and they can smell (unless you get a soy one).
Post # 8
+1 for memory foam.
I am pretty much the world’s lightest sleeper, but ever since I got this mattress I have gotten great sleep. My parents bought it for me in college because I had a back injury and I was suffering with my old one. It was very expensive ($1200 I think) but worth every penny. (Thank you Dad, I love you!)
If my FI gets up to pee or rolls over, I don’t even wake up unless my body feels like it needs to do that too. I haven’t found it to be hot. I have noticed, though, that I get comparatively poor sleep when I go to my parents’ house even though they bought a very nice Serta for my room at home. I can definitely feel the coils.
Post # 9
@vorpalette: I’m starting to get the feeling that you and I are similar people. I find we agree a lot in a lot of these threads 🙂
Post # 10
We got a Temperpedic and both LOVE IT. My husband twitches and drives me insane. I can’t feel him move at all unless he kicks the bed (which he only does when he’s awake, Thank God). It is a little warm, but apparently I’m the only one who feels that way – it doesn’t bother him. I’ll take that with a good night’s sleep and no back pain though.
There is no box spring with the Temperpedic – just a solid box (like a box spring, but no springs, they call it the foundation) that it sits on. You’ll save yourself $200 or so if you have a solid base to put it on.
Ours is also a King. We like to cuddle a little then I can kick him back onto his side of the bed and he won’t kick or punch me. Or just twitch while he’s holding on to me.
Post # 11
- Wedding: June 2010 - parent's backyard
yay, thanks for all the responses! it does sound like memory foam is the way to go, specifically tempurpedic. but I’m still nervous. do Tempurpedics still use bad chemicals and offgas? I’m super worried about chemicals in the home (like new carpet, etc) and I keep reading that memory foam is particularly evil. I’m wondering if natural latex might be a better way to go. cost is not necessarily an issue as long as it is good quality and will last a long time.
I read that memory foam mattresses don’t really last very long. like only 5 years (even though they claim longer). do you think this is still true or is this just the older models? again, I’ve been reading that natural latex is superior in this aspect.
@kit10: why did you hate the latex mattress? was it a bad quality one, or was there some other factor that made you hate it? was it natural latex?
speaking of separate mattresses– LOL, I wish! I actually kind of floated the idea of two twins pushed together, but every time I bring it up, he gets weird about it. I think he views it as similar to sleeping in separate rooms like an old couple! I think it’s bruising his ego or something.
@Hyperventilate: we definitely each seem to have other sleep issues, we’re trying to address those as well. but our old mattress is super old and so I think it’ll be really helpful to get a new one.
Post # 12
Does he snore? or have leg/full body twitches? Benadryl can have long term effects. If you’re going to take anything, try melatonin. I take Natural Factors tranquil sleep for the mild insomnia I sometimes get from working shifts. I work in a sleep lab.. I’m wondering if there isn’t something behind his restlessness.
Post # 13
“speaking of separate mattresses– LOL, I wish! I actually kind of floated the idea of two twins pushed together, but every time I bring it up, he gets weird about it. I think he views it as similar to sleeping in separate rooms like an old couple! I think it’s bruising his ego or something. “
Actually, you can get 2 mattresses which rest on a single boxspring, and fit into one bedframe, so once the sheets are on, you can’t tell by looking that they’re seperate.
Post # 14
- Wedding: June 2010 - parent's backyard
@HappySky7: I definitely give this a lot of thought!
no snoring– thank goodness! he does not take benadryl or any sleep aids at all, he hates them. as for me, I recently broke the habit of taking benadryl too often and now I take a valerian root / hops combo that works well for me — but I’m only allowing myself to take it sometimes. we both recently have started to take magnesium citrate supplements, and I think it’s helping.
I don’t think he has restless leg syndrome or anything. I do think our main issue is that we have active minds and so I try to make us both work on stress issues whenever we seem to be getting worse. but no matter what, I’m always going to be a light sleeper and he is always going to have a demanding job. and like I said, our mattress is super old (like, I think it might be from the 80’s or 90’s) and I think this will help a lot!
a side note- we each just lost about 15 pounds and so we’re feeling pretty good (we are solidly inside our recommended BMI) so I don’t think fitness is the problem.
I’m definitely trying everything I can! 🙂
Post # 15
@nerdybird: Ahh, the old “can’t turn my brain off”.
There is a lot you can do about that, much of it is stress management related to specifics like work, but a lot of it is also sleep hygiene. I certainly see this a lot in the ol’ lab. Clock watchers! bahhh.
A super comfy mattress sure can’t hurt 😛
We got a king sized becuase I do have RLS, and I am a tossy/turner when I’m turning over nights/days. The extra space has made a massive difference.
Post # 16
The tempurpedic did stink! We set it up, and then just left it there before we slept on it for a few nights. We got some good advice to walk on it. That crushes the cells so they release all the stale air inside them quicker. I walked around it every time I went in the bedroom (which is a workout!). We also kept big bowls of baking soda under the bed for months.