- 6 years ago
- Wedding: October 2011
I haven’t posted on WB since a while back, while we were planning our wedding… but it’s been two months, and I can’t think of better ladies to ask for advice from 🙂
My husband and I have been living with my Mom since a few months before our wedding because our housemate left and we couldn’t afford our rent in the place we’d been staying without him. On our honeymoon, we vowed to each other that we’d find a place to rent ASAP – we were hoping for within a week! (I laugh at that idea now…)
It’s been two months, and though we’ve been checking the classifieds and Craigslist every day, we can’t find ANYTHING to rent in our price range in the areas where we need to be in order for us both to be an equal distance from our workplaces. My Mom’s house is pretty central to both towns, and we each drive 40 minutes to get to where we work, so there are only a handful of towns/areas where our commutes would be “fair” to each other. The only problem is that while these towns have plenty of houses for sale, there’s barely anything to rent.
We don’t want to buy or build because my Grandmother has already told us that she wants us to have her house when she passes away, and we know that she doesn’t have a lot of years left – she’s 92. (I feel like such a vulture saying that – I love her so much and want as many years as possible with her!). But in the meantime, we’re going nuts living in one room in my Mom’s house, with all of the stuff we used to have in the house we rented, piled up in our room to where we can hardly get in the bed! I’ve thought about renting a storage unit and Granny has offered to let us store our stuff at her house (she’s even offered to let us move in with her, but that wouldn’t be much different from living with Mom…), but hubby isn’t keen on the idea because he thinks we’ll get comfortable if we move our stuff and not have any motivation to keep looking for somewhere to rent.
Our options at this point look like this:
- Keep being patient at Mom’s for however long it takes to find a place (it may be months)
- I could look for another job that’s closer to the town my husband works in, where there’s tons of affordable apartments
- We could rent something that isn’t in the middle between our workplaces, though I would have to drive 60-70 minutes to get to work and again to get home.
What would you do? We get along with my Mom, but it’s hurting our relationships (mine and hubby’s, mine and mom’s) in a lot of little ways, and I feel extremely frustrated most of the time – I can’t store more than a few days’ worth of food in the kitchen, don’t have any authority over how the house is kept (and when I try to take charge and do housework, my Mom tends to get upset over the way I do it, so I struggle to find ways to help us “earn our keep” without stepping on her toes). I feel like we’re not developing like a married couple should because we can’t learn how to bond together to run a home, and the ins and outs of everyday situations surrounding this issue get pretty depressing to me – it’s hard for me to work through them, although I’ve been doing it so far. I’m just starting to feel a little desperate! Hubby knows how I feel and feels the same way, but he’s much more patient and cautious about trying to find a place we’ll actually like, not just the first place we run across.
I’ve seriously thought about the looking for other jobs option – but I love the job I have now. It pays very little and has few benefits (public librarian ftw!) but it’s what I have my degree in and originally wanted a career in. But it’s so hard for us to make it on what we earn together that I’ve considered applying for higher-paying jobs closer to where hubby works – even considering learning graphic design in my free time and trying to make a go of running my own graphic and web design business within the next five years (but that seems so daunting that it’s kind of a pipe dream). But I really, really like the job I have now, so it seems like a really risky move to take.
Does anyone have any advice? Sorry this was kind of a rant… but I really would appreciate any help or perspective the bees can provide 🙂