Post # 1
I have a 6 year old step daughter and temper tantrums are the most challenging thing about this age so far for my SO and I. The holiday excitement is undoubtedly contributing right now, and we are easily haing at least one tantrum every other day, or more.
Let’s exchange tips on what works best for you when dealing with a screaming/crying child!
We have found that what works best is to continue talking to her in our normal voices and answer whatever her gripe is only once. After that point if she needs to throw a tantrum, she is allowed, but she needs to scream/kick/cry in her room. Once she calms herself she comes out and we move along with our day. Works like a charm with her because it weeds out the tantrums that are for attention only. My FI and I also like that it has taught her to use calm communication to solve problems rather than yelling and screaming.
What are your best tips? What works best for your little one.
(Also, let’s try not to jab at each other’s parenting. There’s no point in that. I mean for this to be a helpful thread, not a hurtful one.)
Post # 3
@freshflowers: One of the best things I ever saw, happened at my house, our neice, who was probably 5 or 6 at the time, was playing with her cousins, but they were tormenting my cat…so I picked up the cat, her bed and blanket and told them to play with the toys downstairs and leave Smoo alone….
That was all it took.
She lost it, started screaming, crying, could not get a grip and the whole house is full of people, just watching this kid loose it.
Her father, calmy and gently, led her into my kitchen, pointed her toward my fridge, openend the door and encouraged her to scream into it…she looked at him like he was crazy, by he told her to go ahead and just get it out….
The fridge, like…absorbed a large amount of the noise, which makes sense, because its insulated, and the cool air from it was blowing on her, so that’s kind of calming….and then she got distracted by all the stuff on the door and inside and in like….two minutes, she was done and wanted a juice box…
It was awesome! And from then on…if she was going to freak out, her parents told her to freak out into the fridge…she doesn’t do that anymore, if she’s upset, she gets a bottle of water from the fridge and goes to her room and drinks it until she feels better.
Post # 4
@freshflowers: whenever my daughter is throwing a fit i ask her to look me in the eye and use her words (she’s only two so maybe not super effective for older kids) but if she does not calm down I tell her to “go take some space” usually in her room until she can calm herself down and it usually works well. Yesterday at Target she started throwing a fit and took some space on the opposite end of the isle. I’m sure I looked crazy just standing there, but when she was ready she got up and walked with me peacefully.
Post # 5
@Ninteenthchance: We have all looked like lunatics in the store once or twice, right? haha
Post # 6
@freshflowers: just once or twice lol
Post # 7
We simply don’t allow her to have a tantrum. If she freaks out about something, we take one of her possessions away. She cannot scream at us or throw a fit. She will be removed from the situation and will lose something she likes. She’s 3 and I can’t recollect her last “tantrum”. Sometimes she cries when she is upset. But she doesn’t have tantrums simply because they aren’t effective here.
Post # 8
My kids didn’t throw a lot of tantrums because they soon learned they did not get attention for negative behavior. I can remember walking away from my son in Wal-Mart as he lay kicking and screaming on the floor. Don’t worry, he was perfectly safe. I was at the end of the aisle observing him in a mirror so I could see him but he couldn’t see me.
When he was done and panicky looking for me, I just made sure I talked loudly enough to my daughter that he was able to come to my voice. His behavior was not mentioned and we went about our business.
Post # 9
My LO is only fourteen months old but sometimes the best thing I can do for her is just take some time and give her a cuddle, this is particularly effective if she’s tired.
@Nona99: That’s an awesome trick!
Post # 10
@jayebaby: Way to go. Seriously. I can’t stand parents who allow their kids to throw tantrums. It’s simply ridiculous and a huge annoyance to everyone else.
Post # 11
He gets a time-out for tantrums, it’s not acceptable in our house.
We do it super nanny style and his time starts after he calms down. I will also take away specific toys (he has a kids tablet), tv time, or lower bedtime.
He is 3 1/2. If he’s having an all out meltdown, rare but it happens then he gets a cold rag on the back of his neck and gets quiet time in his room until we can have our conversation about why fits aren’t okay, and explain whatever caused the fit in the first place.