Post # 1
I have a large family with lots of nieces and nephews. Fiance has at least 10 cousins under the age of 16. I also have two children who will be in the wedding, so obviously, we can’t have a “no children policy.”
What is the best way to phrase “no children” for other guests? This is for my wedding website … this is what I have so far, but I’m not sure if it’s enough or whether it’s too rude?
“Due to limited space and seating, we kindly request no children attend other than family. We hope you understand and will still be able to share in our special day.”
Anything I should add? Remove? Rewrite?
Post # 3
I think you’ve said it perfectly. I’ve seen it written bluntly but yours is nice.
Post # 4
Maybe something like: “We appreciate everyone wanting to share in our special day, but due to limited space and seating, we ask that no children other than family attend. We thank you for your understanding and hope arrangements can be made that allow you to still attend our big day”.
I think yours is great but you just need something that emphasizes how much you appreciate them not bringing their kids. Butter ’em up!
Post # 5
I don’t think you have to say anything, you simply don’t invite them.
A pre-emptive message says to me that you think that I am a boor and would bring an univited guest. Even though in reality, most guest lists have people who in fact are boors, and would bring an univited guest, I would address those people individually, and privately based on their RSVP if the situation arises.
It’s painting everyone with the same negative brush and rubs me the wrong way.
Post # 6
I agree that the best way to “say” it, is to just not invite them. Or, let word of mouth help spread the message.
Post # 7
I think it’s great the way it is. Honestly, we’ve all read on here a hundred times how not putting someone’s name on the envelope doesn’t do anything to prevent people from thinking their kid is invited. Being polite but upfront saves hopefully saves yourself the headache of having to reach out to people after they’ve RSVPed with uninvited kids. Also, since all of the guests who visit the website will see it, that will help with word of mouth.
Post # 8
@Lili316: I think the point is that it isn’t polite to assume the worst of people. One of the main tenents of etiquette is assuming the best of people.
By sending a pre-emptive warning, you are assuming that your guests are impolite boors, that need you to tell them not to bring uninvited guests.
I wouldn’t want to send the message to my guests that I think they won’t do the right thing. Even if I think they won’t, I don’t want to tell them that.
If they prove to be impolite, then I can address that. But I will first extend the courtesy to my guests.
Post # 9
@milesbella: I think that’s very nicely put. Only you know whether your guests are likely to be offended by the “assumption” that they might do the wrong thing, but my personal experience (and that of many bees, too) is that this is both advisable to communicate clearly and not overly offensive to anyone who is not an etiquette maven.
Post # 10
@NotYourTypicalBride: I agree with this. I think what you have is polite, acceptable, and effective.
Post # 11
This is what we posted under the FAQ section of our wedding website…
Are children invited?
Unfortunately due to space limitations, we will be having an “adults only” reception. The only children that will be included are those who are part of our wedding party as well as any out of town guests. We hope you understand. If anyone needs assistance in making arrangements for child care, please let us know and we will do our best to assist you.
Post # 12
I think what you have is good–as well as the other suggestions. We are having no children, so underneath the ceremony/reception info on our website I put:
“We look forward to celebrating with all of the special people in our lives, however, due to venue size and safety concerns, we will be hosting an adult only event. We thank you in advance for your understanding.”
And I just left it at that. From experience, even if you don’t include the kids’ names, people will try to bring them.