(Closed) Best way to word this without offending anyone?

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
389 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

Why do you need to mention it? I would just omit it and spread by word of mouth if it becomes an issue.

Post # 4
Member
8738 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

@SparklyBride2011: I don’t think you need to say anything.

 

Maybe you could have an “FAQ” section with something like:

 

My invitation was addressed just to me, can I bring a date?

And then you could have an answer describing space restrictions (don’t mention budget as people may offer to pay for their date/say their date doesn’t need to eat).

 

But that could be considered offensive to some.

Ideally just make your invitations very clear as to who and how many are invited and deal with individual cases as they come up.

Post # 5
Member
8738 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

oops double post

Post # 6
Member
3265 posts
Sugar bee

@SparklyBride2011: It is not polite to discuss your finance in public.  There is no need to mention your wedding budget at all, especially on the STD. 

People will know they are invited when they receive their invitation or STD. 

Post # 7
Member
167 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I dont know if this will help, but one wedding I went to had a website where we RSVP’d, but in our official wedding invite it included a card with a password on it so only those invited could get into the website. I dont know if that’s something you would want to do but maybe it’s something to think about?

Post # 8
Member
6893 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2012

I think word of mouth is fine. I don’t know why people would be going around being “Here, go look at so and so’s wedding website even though you didn’t get an invite.” That’s kind of weird.

Post # 9
Member
4336 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

yeah, like have you seen the invitations that have a space for a name, and then __/2 attending? (so the “out of” number is written in!)

Post # 11
Member
14303 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

Just start talking about space limitations rather than budget if it comes up.  You could also do a rsvp card that says exactly how many seats are for each guest invited, thats what we ended up doing and talked a few times about how we’re having trouble with max capacity of the venue.  No need to mention budget limitations.

Post # 12
Member
798 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

We had STD’s, and never mentioned anything.  Five months later we sent out paper invites and had a wedding website for RSVP’s, with the address printed on the invitations.  Once people went online to RSVP we had this:

“We would love to invite the world to celebrate with us, however only those names on the envelope are on our guest list. If you have any questions, please let us know at [email protected]

Then we made sure to ONLY have those on our guestlist on the actual envelopes.  In the end we only had 2 extras, and they were both toddlers.

Hope that helps!

Post # 13
Member
14303 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

@SparklyBride2011: if they arent in the family – just say you have a huge family and need to iron out those guest and hope you have a lot of room for friends?  If its extended family that is anything like mine – i never talk to them unless though my parents, just tell them you’re workign on the guest list and hope you can invite everyone you want.  No need to tell them no in an awkward situation just yet.

Post # 14
Member
4336 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

@SparklyBride2011: well, the simple answer to when people ask you directly is just, “unfortunately we’re not going to be able to invite everyone that we would like to, since we will be having a slightly smaller wedding.” And then awkwardly stare at them and wait for them to leave or realize how obnoxious they are.

I don’t think there’s really a polite way to put that on the website or anything.

Post # 15
Member
3265 posts
Sugar bee

I don’t think you need to mention it.  When they don’t get the invitation they will know they are not invited.  If someone goes rogue and invites someone to your wedding I would follow up with that person personally.  Rather then paint all your guests with the impoliteness brush

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