- Better Off Now
- 7 years ago
I wanted to post my experience with by (now ex) boyfriend’s “spritual mother”. Let me beign with a definition… a spritual mother is normally an older woman in the church (or other) who has formed a spiritual bond with a normally younger man. This bond can be very benefiicial for both involved, normally a sort of mother/son relationship, but let me warn you that sometimes this relationship can get out of hand very quickly and deceitfully.
My bf’s spiritual mother was asked not to come meet me, as we were not yet ready to introduce ourselves to friends and family. Well, she came to meet me anyway. At 11:30 at night shw showed up saying “she just had to meet this girl”. Well, she stayed for two hours and although her conversation was kind her subtext was a different story. This woman was extremely adept at saying one thing but actually what she was saying had two meanings.
Les you think this is all in my head, I did some research on this subject. The term “spiritual mother” is sometimes a cover or another name for an older, domineering woman who has somehow made her son, nephew, neighbor, grandson, friend of the family, church member, etc. her emotional and or spiritual husband. What I mean is that she is a woman who has formed an emotional connection to a man that has no romantic interest in her, yet she has hidden romantic connection to him.
He may be giving her money, listening to her problems, helping her out at her home with chores, they may be in business together, be church members, friends of the family. This woman is often older, may be divorced or who has never married, is normally estranged from or never had children or a real family of her own. She may have had a family and or husband at some point, but has driven them away with her domineering and controlling influence.
In my case, this woman as such an emotional hold on my boyfriend, that she basically ended our relationship within 1 week. Do I blame him? Yes. I wish that more men were aware of this sort of personality/spirit. Many men will think that she is just a “sweet old lady” who likes to pray over him and do nice things for him. She is to be watched carefully and Lord me with you if she is part of your intended’s life.
Not only did she disrespect our wishes not to come to meet me just yet, she spent the night and when I offered to make her breakfast the next morning, she informed me that she does not use microwaves or teflon pots. She also let it be known that she had 24 hour access to my BF’s apartment, that she could come and go as she pleased, that he is “just like a son to her” and they have a “very special bond”.
Talking to my Boyfriend or Best Friend about my feelings did no good. This woman was clearly abusive and disrespectful. I tried tact at first, which went right over his head. I fnally just let my patience get the best of me and told him exactly what went on. His reply? “That’s just her personality”. “I wish I’d never told her about our relationship”. He had no idea of what I was suggesting and was sincerely perplexed. It was like talking to a brick wall, ladies.
Almost 9 months of bible study, fellowship, and my relationship is over. My boyfriend started talking marriage and made the mistake of letting her know, hence her two hour drive to get to me. Do I blame him? Yes. Do I blame her? Yes. But most of all I blame the enemy. This is just one of the many ways that the enemy is using people to prevent Godly marriages, as he knows that the marriage relationship is one of the most cherished and blessed relationships created by God.
Since this happened (almost 6 months ago) I have asked a few of the women I work with if they were familiar with this type of relationship. One told me that her mother in law and garndmother of her husband were highly instrumental in the demise of her marriage. They were constantly stirring things up in her marriage, gosipping about her, making all sorts of accusations.
Antoerh co-worker told me of her intended’s “business partner” who actually found her cell ohone number in her boyfriend’s cell phone and called her to inquire about her “intentions”. She was constantly giving advice to him about HER and THEIR relationship and somehow, through their business relationship, managed to get in his ear and talk him out of the relationship. As if this were not tragic enough, he came back to my co-worker sometime later and proposed. She said no. I cannot tell you the damage that this type of relationship can do and the long term effects of it.
SHould men be more aware of this spirit? Absolutely. Will they? Often not. Why? Because this type or relationship seems honest because of the emotional, nurturing aspects. But please know this… God made this type of emotional connection between men and women to lead toward a romantic, spiritual relationship ending possibly in marriage – NOT ending in a bond that has no future.
This “spritual mother” of my boyfriend asked me some rather personal questions at thie time, which caought me completely off guard. I kept my cool and did fine until she left. Her questions were not as blatant, no. She was She was much more clever, and said things like she’d had “visions” about us marrying and coming to live with her on her land and all sorts of other nonsense.
Ladies I am begging you to be aware of these types of women who may be hanging around your intended. I would ask that you pray over getting involved with any man who out his relationship with a woman like this before YOU. I am thankging God that it took only 1 seek for me to find out the truth, but this was after almost 9 months of my forming a bond with my boyfriend.
If yo udo not believe me or want to learn more, here are some interesting links that speak of this spirit.
Also kown as Soul ties here:
This is serious business. I hope this helps someone who may be experiencing this. All there is left to say is that these spirits will have to confess to God what they have done. I am broken hearted over my failed relationship. Every day is a struggle. When you form an emotional bond with man who is praying over you, having bible study with you, studying together, etc. It is the hardes thing to get over. My spirit is crushed for now, but I am praying that God gets the glory in the end.
Signed, Better Off Now.