- Blog
- Bios
- Boards
- Classifieds
- DIY
- Gallery
- Vendor Reviews
- Shop Weddingbee
Weddingbee boards
Am I being a meanie? (i wrote b*tch/ bridezilla, but i hate both those terms)
My sister is hassling me about not wanting to play "current pop hits" at our wedding. She thinks i should play Beyonce, Shakira, Miley Cyrus, Rihanna, Katie Perry, Gaga etc, but I dislike all of those muscians. I will be playing Radiohead, Elbow, Tennis, Ryan Adams, Black Keys, Yeaayer, Local Natives, Bruce Springsteen, Steely Dan, Led Zeppelin, plus 80s hits like Dexys Midnight runners, Violent Femmes, Blondie... etc.
I thought that would please everyone, but obviously not.
I have like 120 guests and only 15 are let's just say "beyonce loving age". I have older people there, and some younger who dont care and won't dance.
Am I being unreasonable? How do you say shut up, it's my wedding without being a selfish "bridezilla"? (gosh i hate that term..)
ps- we arent having a DJ... ipod with speakers...
Sorry i meant to post this in the Music category..
i like the top 40 stuff but your day... your music :) when your sister gets married she can play gaga all night long
maybe let her go through the artists you like and pick out some songs?
It's whatever you want, personally I'd play a couple popular songs and move on with the rest of the reception, I just wouldn't see it as a big deal.
I think it's perfectly fine and very common to veto certain songs from your setlist. I had a DJ and he actually asked for a list of songs to not play.
in addition to pop music, I also vetoed the chicken dance, the marcarena and the electric slide!
I say its your wedding, play what you want. You know your guests better than your sister so it sounds like you have it well thought out. That being said, you could play maybe a few songs to make the "Beyonce crowd" happy. I played very few pop songs and stuck to the golden oldies and people loved it.
Your day, your way. Period, end of story!
I have to say, I love the music selection you have come up with, though ;-)
Your wedding, do what you please. Personally, I asked the band to play the classics that everyone likes and will get them on the dance floor. They had a good mixture and the dance floor was full (at least everytime I saw it, lol). The only time I've ever been "dissastisfied" with the kind of music that was played was when a DJ played every.single.song completely technoed out. Terrible.
I'd give in on one or two, I don't see how its worth an argument. Could be worse, I was pressured into playing the Cupid Shuffle
We have all those pop folks on our Do Not Play list... it's your party, so it should reflect you!
Eh. If you don't want to play it, don't. Simple as that. You do have a right to just say no.
If you want her off your back, you could always just include 1 or 2 songs to appease the 15 people who want that. Just pick a couple of the most tolerable ones for you and include them in with your picks.
I agree that it's your wedding and it's absolutely your right to have whatever music you like :) buuut...
If you want people to dance, I think you might have to put some top 40 stuff in there. I only know of like two of the artists you mentioned, and if I was a guest I probably wouldn't dance.
Again, this is 100% up to you and whatever decision you make you should absolutely not feel bad about. But I'll give you my experience FWIW. At first, I thought nobody would really be dancing at our wedding and I wanted more indie/folk sounding music, but at the insistence of friends and family members we ended up putting a lot of top 40 type music on our playlist. It was such a huge hit! The dance floor was full all night. DH and I even ended up dancing all night and we never ever dance. The biggest hits for us were "Party Rock Anthem" by LMFAO, "Low" by Flo-Rida, "Party in the USA" by Miley Cyrus, and "Baby One More Time" by Britney Spears. Even the older crowd that I didn't think would dance (great aunts and uncles) were on the dance floor all night.
Again, I think it just depends on what you're going for. What are you envisioning for the night? I don't know those artists, so I can't really picture it the way you can. I think though, if you want the masses to dance, you're going to have to cater to the masses, at least a liiitle bit :)
Nope, we're not playing any kind of "current" pop music either. We can't stand it in our everyday lives so why would we play it at our wedding? We're playing lots of motown and 80s hits that are fun to dance to, so people should still be able to dance, just no sexy sweaty club dancing or whatever you want to call the "dancing" that goes along with pop music today. (LOL that makes me sound like such an old fart. Kids these days *grumble grumble*)
Totally fine. We aren't playing that stuff, either. (If I have to hear Single Ladies one more time at at wedding I might shoot myself). Not that I have anything against Beyonce, I just get sick of a lot of top 40/pop songs that I already hear enough of in my daily life.
You've already got some pretty dance-able music on your list, but I have one suggestion: old school hip hop is usually a happy compromise between music snobs and top 40 lovers.
@swanks4tw: agreed - never thought I would be up dancing to that stuff but FH's work Christmas party made a liar of me - we danced our asses off to all kinds of top 40 stuff I normally only heard when walking by teeny clothing stores. I'll be having a bunch of it in our ipod!!
I think that since it's your wedding, you do what you want!
For me, while I like most of the bands that you listed, none of them really make me want to get up and shake my bootie. You might need to include some Top 40 in there just be safe.
I'm obviously in the minority but I love Gaga and Beyonce and I'd be so disappointed if I couldn't dance to them! But I don't like a lot of 80s music or 60s music (I'm strangely ok with the 70s lol). But I would be 'not ok' with someone telling me what I should or should not play! I agree with everyone else. This is your day--not anyone else's (besides your husband of course!) so play what YOU love!!! Enjoy it & be happy. But I would say definitely put together a do not play list! lol
nope, you're not being unreasonable, but that's not going to stop people from nagging you. hahaha.
im digging your playlist. we're doing something similiar, though we're adding selected top 40 hits in there. but only ones that are on my list. i'm not too into top 40, but every now and then i hear a song that i secretly love. we're also adding a good dose of motown to get people dancing.
so yeah, as long as you can dance to it and you play a good amount of songs that aren't obscure, it will be fine.
ETA: I'm also banning huge chunks of top 40, such as anything by bieber, miley cyrus, recent lady gaga and kesha. hahahha
I don't see anything wrong with throwing a top 40 song or two in the mix (though anyone who doesn't enjoy the blackkeys makes me scratch my head).
@FutureFoxWife: It's your reception! Play what you want. However, I will say that I have never heard of any of those bands, so if I attended the wedding, I probably would not pay much attention to the music because I don't know any of it. It's kind of like when you hear a song for the first time on the radio, you usually just tune it out, you know? But if that's what you and your FH listen to, then your guests will likely have a similar taste.
ETA: Okay, I have heard of Led Zepplin (sp?)
thanks all! we're hoping to give people a new music experience. People are always like, "who" when i mention bands i love. I want to show my family what my FI and I love. we're so music driven... so we're excited to share it. and A little motown for my mom (his FMIL) could never hurt! ;)
You need to play music to suit all your guests. If that means throwing on 1 Beyonce song than so be it because at least they can enjoy one song to dance to
I didn't read all the comments, but I just wanted to throw this in.
I don't like most of the current stuff but I also don't want my guests to be completely bored with just my eclectic taste in music. So I'm giving my DJ a short list of ABSOLUTE no's (Black Eyed Peas and Santana are a couple) and giving him a list of ABSOLUTE musts (a couple random songs that no one in the world seems to know) and giving him the reigns over the rest of the night since he's much more attuned to what will keep the dance floor going. If there are a couple songs you just CAN NOT stand, then there is nothing wrong with making them no-no's, but I wouldn't be a music nazi! :)
ETA: FI's family is Hispanic and even though I personally can't stand Tejano, I don't mind a couple songs here and there so the older folks on his side can have a good time too...those will be the breaks I need to hit the bar! :)
See, this is where I would not be asking for input from anyone else about your wedding playlist (or anything else for that matter!). You and your fiancee should choose the songs YOU want to hear at YOUR wedding!
If your sister has an opinion that she chooses to voice, I would say something like "Hey, thanks for the suggestion, I will keep it in mind" instead of "No, we're not playing that" The first reply gives her no way to continue the conversation but the second one opens up a negative discourse where she feels compelled to make her case.
Stress-Free is the way to be! Thank everyone for their suggestions, tell them it is a great idea and you'll keep it in mind! It works WONDERS!
No, you're not being unreasonable.
But for what it's worth, I love dancing and consider Gaga and Beyonce great dance music.
For me, Radiohead and Ryan Adams isn't wedding music. Maybe during dinner, but not the dancing part.
My husband and I played some of the music we like that isn't appropriate for dancing during dinner and then played more dance apprioprate music after dinner, like top 40, 80's, things parents like (shout, etc). Overall we wanted our guests to be up and dancing and they weren't going to do that if I played Ani Difranco and Allman Brothers Band.
@FutureFoxWife: I had an afterthought:
Some of the music people say "who?" to might not be the best choice for wedding dance music. I went to a wedding a few months ago and they played an LCD Soundsystem song. While it was a fun and dancey song, only about 5 people danced to it. Everyone else cleared off the floor because they obviously didn't know it, so it was kind of awkward. The moral of the story is use a bit of caution when you chose music people may not know.
That said, I still think you can have a fun wedding where everyone dances without using top 40 stuff.
It's your wedding, and I think you should play whatever you want. We're using several Tennis and Yeasayer songs during our cocktail hour and dinner.
Absolutely not! I'm veto-ing Katy Perry, Nickelback and anything else that drives me nuts. Couldn't care less what other people think, they can request anything but those! It's your day, do what you want!
You can play what you want, but I wouldn't know many songs by the artists you listed, and I think a little variety can't hurt. You can still play some pop hits without playing Beyonce and Gaga. Find a few that you like and throw them in there for those guests who do like them.
At the end of the day, you should pick what YOU want! But honestly, I would be a little miffed if I went to a wedding with no popular music. But that's just me, and I would totally pick the music I wanted at my own wedding and not really care what others think about it.
If you don't care about dancing then I'd say go for whatever you want! I LOVE Ryan Adams, but I really doubt you could have a crazy dance party to him lol.
Just wanted to add you could always play a playlist of your awesome eclectic favorites during dinner and cocktail hour and compromise on more mainstream stuff during the reception. I played a lot of my favorite random songs during dinner.
I was unaware that there was a certain age that people like Beyonce and Lady Gaga?? But ehh, I agree with all the previous posters. I def dont like to dance when I don't know the songs or at least have heard them. I probably wouldn't dance. But like one of the PP"s stated...it all depends on what you're going for and it IS your day! Screw what everyone else wants!!
I love the idea of throwing something popular in there for the "masses" even if it may be Motown or 80's...something like that!?
Springsteen?? No. Led Zeplin?? No.
There will be things off of out list, and our music is going to be an awesome mix. My FI and I love 80s music, so there will be alot of that on there. But we both also love the more modern dance stuff.
Black Eye Peas? Hell Yeah
GAGA??? Hell Yeah
Beyonce?? well yes, but not some of her more recent random "what was she thinking releasing that" stuff.
I think because FI has been a DJ for like...forever....since he was 14 basically, that will really influence our music.
We will have more laid back music during dinner, but after that, the dance music will come out without a doubt.
I'll start by saying that I love Ryan Adams (amazing live!), Black Keys, Yeasayer, etc. You are right, it's your wedding and you definitely should have a say in what music gets played. But on the other hand, you are hosting a party with guests. I think throwing the 15 people a bone by playing a Beyonce or Gaga song isn't going to be terrible. You can always use it as a bathroom break. :)
I say go with your favourite music, or music that you know people will get up and dance to. That can be like cheesy dance tunes to classic swing! :)
I've always figured that the wedding is mostly for the enjoyment of the guests, so unless I absolutely cannot stand a song, I would think about what will make my guests happy and get up and dance.
You must log in to post.
| Visit our sister sites | eHarmony Online Dating |
eHarmony Advice Dating Advice |
Project Wedding Wedding Songs |
JustMommies Pregnancy Calendar |
Create the honeymoon of your dreams.
| User | Posts Today |
|---|---|
| ellisrobertson | 24 |
| fishbone | 22 |
| ndreighton | 18 |
| Brielle | 17 |
| mypinkshoes | 17 |
| Samantha7 | 16 |
| ladyartichoke | 15 |
| takemyhand | 15 |
| lionskitty | 15 |
 rdownie1 |
15 |
| User | Posts Today |
|---|---|
| vorpalette |
2 |
| ElbieKay | 1 |
| BlushingMonk | 1 |
| mink | 1 |
| bells219 | 1 |
| MissGreenBean | 1 |
| risingsun | 1 |
| ellisrobertson | 1 |
