Beyond frustrated! Wedding planned, ring bought, & NO proposal!

posted 3 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
1817 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

I don’t really have any advice, but I’m sorry you’re in this situation. Your wedding is in a little more than a month, and you hardly have any time to enjoy being engaged. Not only do you need time to send out bridal shower invitations, but you also need to send out actual wedding invitations. Does your family know that you have your wedding date set and the wedding planned? Are you planning on having any guests come in from out of town?

It’s pretty crazy that he’s waiting until the last second to pop the question, especially since he obviously knows that answer! Does he tell you why he still hasn’t done it?

Post # 4
Member
511 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Honestly, I’d just talk to him about it and explain that it would be preferable if it happened in the next few days because of the tight timeline you are on. Unless he has something big planned for a certain date, it shouldn’t be a big deal for him to nudge it forward. Alas, guys can be kind of clueless about this kind of thing.

Post # 5
Member
141 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

I don’t really understand this situation. I guess if the wedding was in 2-3 years it would make sense but for a wedding to be in less than two months, everything is planned but you’re not engaged? Have you bought the dress, booked the venue and vendors? Is he aware of everything that has been planned?

And if your family aware? Do they know they have a wedding to attend in a month?

I think you really need to speak to him. There is a lack of communication and it’s scary because the planned date is coming up.

Post # 6
Member
2381 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I would cancel everything you booked and change the date.  Did your family that DO know not wonder about why there was no engagement but you booked the venue anyway???  

I’m sorry, I can’t understand why anyone would book anything without a ring and in so little time!

Post # 7
Member
2555 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

@wildfox21:  Wait, what???? Who is going to come to this wedding just over a month away if no one knows you guys are even (planning to be???) engaged? I don’t understand this…

Post # 8
Member
1880 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

How long ago did he tell you to go ahead and find a venue? I understand planning ahead some without a ring or proposal in some situations, but for the wedding to be in a month and you still don’t have a proposal? That’s very strange to me. Is everything else completely planned as well like invitations, dress, food, etc?

Post # 9
Member
1987 posts
Buzzing bee

@Asia:  +1

If you guys have a date and venue set, then you *are* engaged. I’m really confused as well–do you have any vendors booked? Invites sent out? A photographer booked for the wedding? Your dress picked and alterations made? If not, how is this going to be done in a month? Yikes!

Post # 10
Member
855 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

Does he know he’s supposed to be doing this, because… well… if you have both agreed to get married and have set a date and booked the gig then… you are already engaged.

Work on your communication because it does not sound like you are both on the same page.

Post # 11
Member
1648 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2000

I don’t understand either – so you’re planning a wedding without technically being engaged…?   You def need to talk to him because your family and friends need a heads up so they aren’t busy that weekend.  If nobody knows, I might just postpone it until he proposes.

Post # 12
Member
349 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2008

This is so weird. It’s seems like this is really rushed if he didn’t even have time to propose yet. When did you two decide to just go ahead and set a date and when did you start planning? I’d postpone if I were in your shoes, that way he has time to propse, you guys can enjoy it for a little bit, and then family and friends have time to arrange things like schedules, accomodations etc. How are you planning to send out invites, receive them back, plan a head count with the caterers and venue, BMs and GMs outfitted, bridal and bachelor/ette parties planned etc in just over a month? You can do a lot on your own, but those are things you can’t do without people knowing you are getting married and having a wedding next month. 

Post # 14
Member
1987 posts
Buzzing bee

@wildfox21:  If you’ve done all this–then, congratulations, you are officially engaged! Having a date and a venue means the two of you plan to enter into marriage together. That’s what engagement is. 🙂 Maybe he thinks he’s already ‘proposed’ by the fact that you two have agreed to get married. A lot of women don’t get the ‘Hollywood’ proposal, including me. We just said one day ‘let’s get married’ and bam, we had a date, venue, and ring, etc. from there. 

Anyway, communication is key. If you feel unsure, just sit him down and tell him what you’ve said here. Either way, congratulations and best of luck!!

Post # 16
Member
1987 posts
Buzzing bee

@wildfox21:  Exactly–you need to sit him down and tell him to put that bling on your finger so you can show everyone!! 😉

Congrats again and keep us updated! 

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