BF and I broke up, and it's taking over my BRAIN. Tips?

posted 2 years ago in Relationships
Post # 2
Member
2549 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

This is fresh…. it’s going to happen.  You’ll have to ride it out.  Watch funny movies, eat your favorite food, and try your best to forget.  Maybe keep your phone turned off when you’re home alone?  Go for walks, go get ice cream or your favorite hot drink from a coffee shop.  Concentrate on the little things that are pleasant.  Treat yourself.

After a few weeks, you should start feeling better.  You will learn how to operate again.

Best of luck, darling.

Post # 3
Member
1242 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

 

kerplunk00:  Keep yourself busy. Work out, have a good time, go out with friends. That’s what I always did after break ups and it made it easier. Not to mention… it’ll drive him crazying seeing you having a good time without him

Post # 4
Member
1032 posts
Bumble bee

I know that feeling too well. You just have towab on friends. Take it day by day. Just know every day you’re getting stronger. The hours will turn into day. Then to weeks. Then to months. You’re doing really well. try to stay busy. I read the book it’s called a break up cause it’s broken. It’s honest and made me laugh a bit through the tears. If you canplan a girls vacation out of the country it could help. Either way. Read that book. Hugs! 

Post # 5
Member
653 posts
Busy bee

Give yourself a couple weeks to fully grieve.  Get all the crying out, lay in bed, mourn your relationship ending.  But, give yourself a day when you are going to go out and conquer this feeling!  I promise there will come a point in time where you realize you are not sad as often and dont think about it as much.  Know that you will be ok. I promise.

Post # 6
Member
2471 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

kerplunk00:  IDK for me, even though the breakup was a good thing and i dont regret it ever- they are hard! What I did was  I texted a friend whenever i felt lonely lol, and not gonna lie..best way to get over some one is under someone else. 😉 Take some time to be single of course but maybe a nice distraction could help.

Or maybe pick up a new hobby/ join a sports league.. you’ll be meeting new people and getting a nice outlet for any negative energy

Post # 7
Member
4926 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

kerplunk00:  Trust me, the girls who dont “give a shit” are either liars or weren’t truly invested in the relationship in the first place! Of course you care. Of course you’re upset. This is all normal (and even good) to grieve over your lost relationship.

My advice would be – give yourself 2 weeks. Two weeks to cry, pout,  be upset, eat ice cream in your pajamas, cry yourself to sleep, etc. It WILL get better. I promise. After those two weeks, start trying to pull yourself together. 

Delete his number. Do NOT contact him. 

Post # 8
Member
273 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2025

kerplunk00:  Don’t force yourself to stop thinking about him – you actually end up thinking about him even more that way. Depending on how long you were with this guy.. it may take weeks or months? Took me 2 months toget over a 3 year relationship. That’s also around the same time I (and others) noticed the workouts were paying off, and I felt much more comfortable being single.

You’d be surprised at what “alone time” does for you. Massages, concerts, vacations, doing stuff you like to do! If I weren’t engaged right now, I’d be traveling the world 🙂

Post # 9
Member
3335 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

kerplunk00:  You can’t be expected not to care, you’re human. You have to heal. First off, I always stand by the recommendation of NO contact. Do not text him, do not expect him to text you, block him (and any of his friends, even) on facebook and absolutely do not facebook stalk him. If you don’t have the expectation that he is going to contact you, then you won’t be as let down when it doesn’t happen. 

I always like to use the analogy of a physical wound (really, a break up is an emotional wound). The best way to heal a physical wound is to bandage it and let it heal on it’s own. If you keep picking at it, it is only going to take that much longer to heal. So, let it be, let yourself heal. If you start moping, start doing something else that occupies your mind. Don’t let yourself wallow in self-pity. Know that everyday gets a little easier than the last. I know that it is hard to go out and have fun right now, but put a bandaid on that emotional wound and fake it until you actually do feel better. Hell, try online dating, at the very least it’s entertainment and a confidence boost, even if you don’t want to date anyone. 

Post # 10
Member
1032 posts
Bumble bee

If I can give you one piece of advice is Delete his number, delete him off Facebook, Twitter, Instagram. Everything. It helps avoid the temptation to snoop. 

2 years ago I was going through a bad break up. My friend was dating a piece of shit boyfriend who cheated on her constantly and she took him back. They broke up again a year later the same reasons and she took him back. This year for New Year’s resolutionis to break up with him for good again. Again. Now myself and another friend of hers just got engaged. And she would totally be close or engaged if she stood firm and didn’t take that douchehole back (She’s a 10 he’s a 3 at his best). stay strong! 

Post # 11
Member
7131 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2013

Whever I went through a break up, I would write a list of everything that bothered me about the person. It was really therapeutic, and I would read over the list whenever I would start to romanticize the relationship.

Post # 12
Member
80 posts
Worker bee

Go on some dates. Seriously. It will open your eyes to the fact that there are still many options out there for you. It doesn’t mean you have to DATE anyone, but just get out of the house with a nice looking guy and enjoy his company. 

Post # 13
Member
221 posts
Helper bee

I have been through a breakup a few years back where I felt exactly like how you described. Surround yourself by friends and family – I found I had to pretend I was having fun, kind of like the saying fake it until you make it! Until one day I actually started to enjoy my life again. It does take time but after time it definitely gets better. 

Post # 14
Member
1990 posts
Buzzing bee

Unfortunately, it’s just one stage of many that you’ll probably go through. It sucks, but make the most of it. Reflect on what happened, reflect on your part, reflect on his. What have you learned? What do you want in the future?

Do things that you enjoy, try something new. You’ll have to recreate some new habits to avoid checking your phone all the time. Remember you’re still a person, you still have an identity, you’re still an amazing woman!

Don’t ignore the breakup, don’t live in the past. Soak it in and turn it into a learning experience that can benefit your tomorrow.

Post # 15
Member
865 posts
Busy bee

kerplunk00:  Trust me even those girls who don’t seem to give a shit, *do* give a shit.  I’m sorry you’re going through this.  I know how much it sucks and how hard it can be to cope.  Unfortunately the only thing that really makes it better is time.  So just know, that this will pass.  Until then do your best to keep yourself distracted.  Maybe try a new hobby in addition to spending time with your girlfriends and family?  Good luck, *hugs*

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