Post # 1
I am the Maid/Matron of Honor in my friends wedding (fourth bridal party experience) in August. Have had a boyfriend for 4 years, who is very shy and therefore drinks in situations where he is uncomfortable. Though I love him dearly and I know he means well, every wedding we’ve attended he gets incredibly drunk and either makes an ass out of himself or starts an argument with me or both. He has ruined 2 of my best pals weddings for me – this time I’d like to enjoy myself and my duties and my friends.
I’ve begged him to behave in past situations and he has disappointed me. This wedding is going to be very small and I don’t want his antics to over shadow anything. How do I tell him nicely that I’d like to go stag to this wedding because I can’t trust he can behave himself?
Post # 3
Ouch, thats a tough one but I understand. What if you gave him the out? Obviously if he is so uncomfortable at weddings that he drinks that much, then maybe he doesn’t really even want to be there. It will be hard since you are a Maid/Matron of Honor and will be busy and won’t be able to be around him 100% of the time. Try to get him to think its his idea 🙂
Post # 4
Ugh that sucks. I think you should probably talk to him and say that his drinking too much makes you really uncomfortable and you understand that he does it because he feels uncomfortable but it’s still just not acceptable behavior and you don’t particularly want to have to deal with it in addition to your duties as Maid/Matron of Honor. People don’t really want to hear that they drink too much, but if that’s what always happens then I think honesty is the best policy here. You shouldn’t have to deal with that. Is there a way maybe you can let the bartender at the wedding know that he should be cut off at a certain point?
Post # 5
I think you should have him come after dinner that way you can keep a better eye on him for the dancing portion of the evening. Less time to drink=less chance he will be drunk or as drunk when the night is over!
Post # 6
Tell him if he can’t PROMISE to control is drinking (or not drink at all) then you’d like him to stay home!
Post # 7
There’s no getting around the fact that that will be a difficult conversation to have, but hopefully once he sees how serious you are about preferring to attend alone rather than deal with his drunkenness, that will serve as a sobering (uh, no pun intended, I promise) wakeup call to him. Good luck.
Post # 8
Tell him he can’t go based on his past performances…it needs to stop somewhere….
Post # 9
Yes, just tell him what you told us… it won’t be easy, but it has to happen. And the sooner, the better!
Post # 10
Everytime you see his glass is getting empty, go get him a glass of water so he can sip on that instead!
Post # 11
I’m glad everyone is so understanding. I was hopefully not making him out to look like a fall down drunk! All advice has been helpful – and it looks like I am just going to have to have another chat with him and base whether or not to bring him on his reaction. If I do bring him and he gets out of hand I can always lock him in a room! I’d supply a bottle of water and a cell phone because, afterall, I’m not a barbarian! 🙂
Post # 12
Seems like he has a problem and you shouldn’t worry about bringing him to the wedding so much as whether you should be in a relationship with him.