Post # 1
I need a little pick me up, as I am still feeling horrible about not breastfeeding. DS is 3 weeks old today. I started out with the mind set that if Boyfriend or Best Friend works then great, if not no big deal, but for some reason I now can not let it go and feel like I failed.
My DS had no problems latching right on and did amazing for the first week with Boyfriend or Best Friend. My milk didn’t come in until day 4 and at this time he had lost 10% of his weight and the Drs wanted me to start supplimenting every other feeding with formula. I said I wanted to wait a day for my milk to increase. With that, the day I got discharged ( I had a c section) they weren’t going to discharge DS due to his weight and he developed jaundice due to Boyfriend or Best Friend, at this point I had to start supplimenting.
For the next 5 days I had to take him everyday to get re tested and was supplimenting with formula every other feeding. Due to this it made Boyfriend or Best Friend really tough as DS no longer wanted my breast and becoame super fussy. He would only latch for about 3 mins and then stop, it took awhile to get him to eat, when he finally did, he wanted to feed again in 45 mins.
I started to get extreme anxiety at this point, since I was fustrated, the billribillen levels weren’t going down, and I had the baby blues. I hit my breaking point and had a panic attack to the point that my Darling Husband called my Dr, and I had to take medication to combat the panic attack. Hence totally haulting my Boyfriend or Best Friend attemepts.
I’ve continued to try and pump and dump while the medication runs through my system but my milk supply never really came in full force so I don’t even get an oz. At this point DS is fully on forumla. I feel AWFUL and can’t stop dwelling on the fact that I feel like I let him down and everyone I know had Boyfriend or Best Friend and makes me feel like a total failure.
Did anyone else only make it to the 2 week mark?
Post # 3
@ams12: I’m just pregnant, but ANY amount that you do is good for baby. Bravo for your 2 weeks. You will be an amazing mommy. Boyfriend or Best Friend is not everything in life. (I was a bottle baby!)
And thank you for sharing your story so that those of us who aren’t there yet will not feel so alone if we are in a similar situation.
Horray for you and congratulations on your baby!
Post # 4
I just want to say that you absolutely did not fail. In fact, it sounds like you tried so hard it had a pretty serious effect on you. You know as a mom that the important thing is that your baby get fed, and you’re doing the right thing making sure that happens. I’m all for natural everything, but I hate it so much that women are made to feel guilty when they choose formula. My sister only breast fed for one week and she has two very healthy kids. Please stop beating yourself up. I hope you can start to find some relaxation and peace soon, because you deserve it.
Post # 5
At two weeks, I developed a really bad case of mastitis and had to be hospitalized for a few days. I still had to pump in the hospital, but when I was discharged, I made a conscious decision not to breastfeed anymore. In all actuality, I could’ve continued breastfeeding once I got out of the hospital, but I had so much guilt and depression about being away from my newborn for that long that I decided I didn’t want to even try again. I felt a lot of guilt, too, about giving up on breastfeeding, and for a while, I was carrying around a lot of bad feelings about it.
To be honest, though, with time and distance a lot of your bad feelings will pass. Now my daughter is 1.5 years old (wow!) and I am actually really happy with how formula feeding turned out for us. It’s hard not to feel guilty about it, but just remember that you gave your son an incredible gift by breastfeeding even a couple weeks.
Also, there are a lot of great things about formula feeding! Many babies feed less often while on formula, which frees you up quite a bit. You can also share the feedings, if you want, so it doesn’t become so overwhelming to be needed every second of every day. And just think of how much easier it will be to return to work when you don’t have to worry about pumping every few hours. 🙂
I know you’re feeling bad right now, but try and keep some of the positives in mind. Over time, the guilt will lessen, and you’ll feel better about formula feeding. Also, you can join the formula feeding support thread; many of us have made the decision to formula feed for medical and/or personal reasons, and I would say all of us are happy with our choices. 🙂
ETA: Here’s the Formula Feeding Thread:
Post # 6
Do not feel guilty about this. You tried your hardest, which is all that any mom can do. It sounds like formula feeding has turned out to be the best for the health of both mama and baby. You are a great mom for taking care of your baby’s nutritional needs and your own mental health needs.
Post # 7
Don’t feel like a failure.
My mom was only able to produce enough milk for the first two weeks. She just couldn’t make anymore milk. After that she had to use formula.
Post # 8
I’ve spent today in bed crying with my two week old because breastfeeding is HARD 🙁 I’ve been thinking about supplementing and have had so much guilt thinking about it that’s where my tears come in.
Ive been telling myself all day – and you too – we’ve gotta stop beating ourselves up. Motherhood is not always easy. And working through it, doing our best, makes us good moms.
Post # 9
Thanks ladies for all your great comments and uplifting words! It means a lot and helps!
rachiecakes- It’s sooo hard, and it’s harder when society makes you feel like it’s the only best way. Your lil one might do okay with the supplimenting since she is a little older, my guy was barely 4 days old before he got the pleasure of a bottle nipple and it made him lazy. Whichever you choose, it’s totally okay and our babies will be healthy and strong regardless!
Post # 10
@ams12: I agree – its SO much harder than anyone makes it out to be. I feel like I’m a prisoner in my house, I can’t even answer the phone these days because he’s attached 24/7. He’s a little over two weeks and it’s freezing so I feel like I can’t even go anywhere with him. Friends ask if they can visit but some days I can’t even wash my face and get dressed until late afternoon. All these things are making me consider supplementing. At least then Darling Husband could help out and maybe I could leave the house for an hour or so and regain some sanity.
Post # 11
Reading this made me feel so much better! We’ve had a supply/weight gaining issue too and I’ve felt so terrible feeding my daughter formula a few times a day to supplement. Thank you all for making me feel not alone in my struggles and emotions!
Post # 12
I went threw the same thing (minus the C-section) And I felt so bad about it but you have to remember that you being stress and having anxiety about breastfeeding isnt good for you or baby so choosing to do formula was what was best for you and your little family! And my doctor told me the first few days are the best for the baby and you did that!
Post # 13
There are so many legitimate things to worry/feel guilty about in parenthood, but breastfeeding versus formula feeding is NOT one of them. Formula is not poison, and it won’t hurt your baby in any way. You didn’t fail in choosing formula; you succeeded in finding a great alternative that works for you and your baby!
Remember that those first few weeks and months post-partum your hormones are still regulating, so you’re going to feel everything more strongly. Give it a little time, and you’ll feel better about this. 🙂 Just keep reminding yourself that you’re doing a great job and try to keep some positives in mind. Hugs, it’ll get better.
Post # 14
That sounds really stressful. I’d consider seeking different healthcare professionals because they seem like they only increased stress instead of being fully helpful.
Lots of babies are happy and healthy on formula. If you want to breastfeed some remember it doesn’t have to be an all or nothing thing, you can give him a small snack once or twice a day. Even if you’re not getting an ounce when you pump, just wait longer than you pump for your breasts to fill and then let him feed after the medication runs it’s course. If there are mother’s groups in your area you might want to check some out, hopefully there will be mothers with all sorts of experiences to support and know you’re not the only one going through this.
Post # 15
dont feel like a failure. i was unable to breast feed due to the fact that i was on really heavy pain meds for the first 10 days of my sons life. he also was in the nicu with the jaundice so it just wasnt meant to be for us. i had planned on it and was sad for the first few days and felt like i was defective or something because i just couldnt do it. i was in way too much pain. i felt like it was worse because i was in a way choosing not to do it instead of fighting through that horrible pain and doing it anyway. and even then who knows if it would have been ok. my son was a bottle baby and was on formula his entire life before switching to regular milk. He turned out just fine 🙂 dont let anyone tell you there is a wrong or right way. each situation has different needs and in your case this is how it worked out. thats not wrong. you are going to be a great mommy and have already done so much just with the two weeks of bf
Post # 16
Breastfeeding for 2 weeks!? Woooo hooooo! Goooo you!!!!
Seriously, two weeks is great! Don’t beat yourself up at all. It’s not an easy thing, and some bodies just don’t breastfeed as easily as others. And at the end of the day, you did the absolute best thing for your baby, which was give him nutrition, in one form or another, to grow. It doesn’t matter that you used formula– you did whatever is best for him, no matter how badly you wanted to breastfeed.
So good for you! Be happy for your two weeks, and try to look at all of the positives that come with formula (shared feedings, you can have a family member or a babysitter watch the baby for a longer period of time, no pumping!).