BF has never said "I love you" ? What do you think?

posted 3 years ago in Relationships
Post # 4
Member
11668 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Well 6 months isn’t a super long time to be worrying.  My DH isn’t a super mushy person either and rarely says he loves me first (he will say it back to me).  He also shows his love in other ways besides verbalizing it.  I had to drag it out of him the first time, too!  Why don’t you just say it to him and see what he says back! 

Post # 5
Member
1387 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@HappyHannah1980:  my FI (bf at the time) waited 11 months to tell me he loved me, now we are getting married.  My FI is also not one to verbalize his feelings.  I told him first, and he said thank you! But if you love him, I’d tell him…. Do it without expecting to hear it in return and you may be pleasantly surprised or open the door for him to later communicate his feelings to you.

Post # 6
Member
3249 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@HappyHannah1980:  What’s his family, and especially his father, like?

Post # 7
Member
1535 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

I agree with pps that you should say it first. I did after 3 months, but we knew eachother for almost 2 years, so we moved fast. I have a friend who said it after 9 months

Post # 9
Member
6505 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

I told my FI first. It just slipped out one day 🙂 we had been dating about 8 months at that time. I think 6 months could still just  feel too early for him so he’s scared to say it. FI told me he had known he had loved me for awhile and was just too nervous to tell me.

Post # 12
Member
3249 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@HappyHannah1980:  Yeah there’s probably something there that has to do with this – though I am not a psychologist or anything, so my opinion on this is fairly worthless, lol.  But, generally speaking, for some men, because of how they were raised/what their family life was like, they’re just not wired to say anything of the sort.  It sounds like he shows you his love in the ways that work for him.

If hearing the words is important to you, you should find a way to let him know that, without pressuring him to say it.  If it were me, I’d prefer my SO to just tell me if that’s something important, than hoping and hoping I’d figure it out, then being hurt that I never did.

But, as he is a man, he will probably handle that wrong at first.  He will either say it immediately, or wait until what he thinks is an appropriate moment – whichever one you were not hoping for.  We’re awesome at getting stuff like this wrong; just know we’re not usually aiming for wrong.

As others have said, 6 months could be quite early – though moving in together and planning a major move together is also early at 6 months, so sounds like this is a pretty fast moving relationship.  I don’t really have a point; and this also is in no way meant as criticism.  Just a passing thought that went through my brain, and I thought merited being thrown out there.

Post # 13
Member
11300 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

You’ve only been together for six months. My FI took a year and a half to say it  after we started seeing each other (that’s not typical, but he was still getting over his ex when we started dating). We’d known each other for 2.5 years before then and said “I love you” as friends, but that’s not really the same.

Post # 14
Member
3756 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

It sounds like he is a decent guy that genuinely cares about you. I’m sure he might have some issues based on experience with his parents so it may take longer for him, but I certainly wouldn’t call it a deal breaker. Give him time. 🙂

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