(Closed) BF has no friends

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
6661 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

This is actually one of my biggest fears for when DH and I eventually move back to Philly, where I’m from and he knows no one. I’d encourage him to keep trying at work, sometimes coworkers are standoffish at first then warm up after a while. He might eventually have something in common with someone that leads to hanging out. Also, try the 6 degrees of separation thing – does he know anyone who has friends in Boston? We actually befriended a friend of DH’s brother who knew no one in NYC and they are thick as thieves now. Also, there’s always club sports or maybe he can get in on a fantasy draft and meet people that way!

Post # 4
Member
11327 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2011

I would just give it time, honestly. Especially as some of your friends get married, why not set up double or triple dates and hope he hits it off with the guys? My FI has a similar story (moved around a ton as a kid, came to Ohio for college and then lost all his friends when he made a lifestyle shift from drinking/partying to giving up alcohol and drugs entirely, worked in an office where everyone was a lot older, etc). 

Things have gotten a lot better for him since more people have gotten hired on at his work and he’s made some good friends there by suggesting they start regular poker nights. Now every 2-4 weeks they have poker nights and he gets some guy-time. Also I’ve made an effort to introduce him to guys in my life (like one of my bffs is a guy and is actually now one of our groomsmen because he got close to my FI). I feel like this problem is really lessening as we get older and settle down more because we’re both more interested in hanging out with couples anyways, and we’re also starting to find more people that are a bit more settled like we are. 

Post # 5
Member
5496 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2010

Are there any groups (like the meetups you mentioned) he can join? Any hobbies? Group sports or something? You mentioned biking. Perhaps a cycling group? I know in our area they have cycling groups for people to ride together! He may enjoy that!!

 

Post # 6
Member
93 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: February 2011

What about your friends husbands, or bfs?  Maybe do some double dates, or have some couples over for game nights or dinner party, wine club, or something along those lines.  If you meet up with the same people often enough, I think some friendships will naturally develop.

Post # 7
Member
375 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I agree with @Jenn23.  In NY we have a group called Zog Sports.  You join a sports team and play every weekend.  I think that would be great for him if he is into that kind of stuff!  I am sure Boston offers something along the same lines

Post # 8
Member
641 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

I know that there are some places where you can take classes for cheap (I think it was in Cambridge, a friend of mine was thinking of taking dance lessons there before her wedding.  Cambridge community school maybe?).  It’s hard since you said you both work late, but I have some friends who joined bowling leagues and darts teams in Boston and seem to have made some good friends.  Maybe you could see if that is something he would be interested in?  Also, I used to play in a free Texas Hold ‘Em league.  It was held in bars around the area, and it was a great way to meet people and have something fun to do!

 

Good luck:)

Post # 9
Member
152 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

He could join Boston Ski and Sports club! They put on events every week! I have a couple friends who work for them and are constantly meeting new people who have just moved to the area. (and the cool thing is alot of their stuff happens at night when everyone gets out of work!)

Also they have pretty cool teams you can join… ie Kickball!

My FI is the same way… he doesnt have any friends! His closest friends now are the BF or Husbands of my friends! GOod Luck!

Post # 10
Member
10367 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

As someone who moved to Boston not knowing anybody, with a husband who knew a lot of people there, here’s what I have done:

– Taken classes. I love photography, and so I took classes that were group focused, and also had darkroom access so that I could hang out and do processing with peple.

-Organized people to try rock climbing. This may not work with his work friends, but maybe you have some friends he clicks with? It’s a great way to branch out even more, because there are meet up groups that go climbing, so the social network builds quickly.

-Volunteered. This was huge. It opens up a big network of open, caring people, who are often around their 20-30s. Tons of fun, and a great thing to do.

You said he likes biking – maybe there are meetup groups online he could join for group rides?

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