Post # 1
My bf and I made plans to go shopping today because we still needed to get each others parents gifts, and today is the only day we can go.
however, he thought it was neccessary to stay up all damn night and go to bed at 5 in the morning. (i snooped on that part and its wrong of me) ugh..
and then i woke up to a text he sent me at 5 before he went to bed saying “ohhh man weather wise not sure about shopping today. damn wind waking me up :(”
like wtf you think it’s okay to do this to me boy? to lie like that??
how should I handle this bees? Im so upset.
Post # 4
Sorry, I’m confused. Do you not live together? In what way did you “snoop” to find out he didn’t go to bed until 5?
He can’t sleep when it’s windy? Did he say that he went to bed at 12? If not, he didn’t really lie to you…
Post # 5
Umm… you could go shopping for your own parents and leave him figure out his on his own?
Post # 6
No we do not live together. I went on his facebook and saw he was chatting to his guy friend at 5 in the morning and after they said goodnight, he had sent me a text saying stuff about the wind waking him up.
So he was awake the whole time, probably playing his stupid xbox. Im just hurt cause we made the plans to go together to spend time with each other and to go gift shopping.
I just dont understand why he would act like he was sleeping in his text message but really be awake all night and then feel it was okay to lie. Not a huge lie, but a white lie is still a lie.
he told me he was tired and going to bed too 🙁
How should i react to him? What do I say? I dont want to fight but I want him to know its not okay to do that. Cause now i feel paranoid on everything
Post # 7
Hmm I think you are being paranoid. It was pretty windy last night and maybe he woke up and couldn’t go back to sleep so he was chatting with his friend. I know that sometimes when I can’t fall back asleep, I’ll write emails or something or go online.
Just tell him the weather shouldn’t influence your shopping plans for today and nicely remind him that you made these plans awhile ago and ask if he can meet you at X time.
Post # 8
Maybe go shopping a little later than planned?
Post # 9
I would do a few things since you seem confident he was up late and lied to you
1) I would send him a text saying you plan to leave at X time and if he can’t make it he can shop when he has time by himself
2) when you next talk to him be honest and say you think he wasnt being straight with you and that you saw he was talking to X friend until 5 in the morning and the wind did not in fact wake up him
3) depending on his answer you tell him that is is either a) if fesses up, its not OK to lie to you and that you expect full honesty in the future and you are giving him a pass this once, but that this is not a respectful way to treat you or b)if he doesnt fess up you have to believe him unless you are so positive he lied in which case you have another problem on your hands.
Post # 10
@ThreeMeers: I just know my bf. He’s a complete heavy sleeper and im very much a light sleeper. Me saying the wind woke me up is way more believable. Im not buying his crap.
I bet he just stayed up late cause its his last day to do so before going back to work. But i just dont understand why he chose to knowing we made plans. It just pisses me off.
He also thought he could probably get away with it because it snowed last night. Okay big deal bf. The roads will be fine by the time we leave at 1pm or if we even go now..
I was just looking forward to today 🙁 It just makes me sad.
Post # 11
As someone who sleeps like the dead, the wind wakes me up. Surely you know your boyfriend better than I, but it’s not unheard if.
I’d just go shopping myself and let him fend for his own family.
Post # 12
@Hyperventilate: I suppose so. Just would have been nice to have a second opinion on what gifts I should get his parents. 🙁
Post # 13
@amberdk: Can you ask him if you can go together later after he’s had time to get some sleep? I wouldn’t get into a fight about something as minor as this, really. If you want to go with him tell him you’ll wait until he’s ready. If he doesn’t want to go you’ll have to go by yourself, though.
But he didn’t really do anything wrong; maybe the wind did wake him up or maybe he was having trouble falling asleep because of the wind. I hate wind, it really bothers me, especially having lived through a hurricane once. And if I wake up in the middle of the night I can’t fall back to sleep for hours sometimes, everyone is different at different times about sleep.
Certainly accusing him of lying isn’t going to help your relationship. He has a right to play Xbox if he wants to and also to talk with his friends. Don’t be unreasonable, lol. 😉
Post # 14
@Sunfire: +1. Sometimes I tell my FI that I am going to bed and need to get off the phone but I get distracted and start doing something else (like play Mafia Wars) and end up going to bed much later
Post # 15
- Wedding: April 2013 - Rhode Island
How do you know he was awake the whole time? Did you spy on him from 10pm till 5am? I think you’re overreacting about this…he could have gone to sleep and woken up at 5am from the wind, talked to his friend on Facebook for a few minutes, texted you, and gone back to sleep. This is not a big deal unless you make it one.
Post # 16
Let him fend for himself. I’d buy his family small gifts, just to make sure you’re covered if he completely drops the ball, but let him do it himself. He will figure out when he is standing in a forever-long line on Christmas Eve, with the traffic at a virtual standstill on any road within a mile of a mall or major shopping center, why it’s kind of stupid to wait. Let this be a life lesson for him 😀