(Closed) bff dropped me.. help

posted 5 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
6664 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

That’s really sad, I’m sorry. Weddings show you who your true friends are, for sure. It sounds very selfish of her to disown you like that over your wedding, which isn’t about her at all. A real friend would have wanted to support you regardless of her role in the big day. You probably dodged a bullet though – imagine how stressful things would be with the shower, bach party, dress selection, etc.!

Post # 4
Member
429 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Been there before; I’m sorry you are going through this.  She told me she was not going to my wedding because she does not want to see one of my guests.  She was already in the wedding party (for months) when she backed out.  I got upset and told her everything I felt about how she has not been a friend to me while I have always been a friend to her, etc.

Eventually we got to talking again.  I still will not invite her to the wedding (since she won’t go anyway) and I don’t talk like we used to.  She was never really the friend I was to her anyway, so I’m not going to linger on that.

The “break up mood” fades eventually.  Enjoy time with your future husband, he is your happiness in times like this 🙂

Post # 6
Member
343 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

You know, sometimes the best decisions are the most difficult. Protect your sanity and allow her to continue putting distance between the two of you. Its for the best and you’ll be happier for it. You should only have people around you that are truly happy for you!

Post # 8
Member
204 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

Unfortunately, sometimes our nearest and dearest friends are truly life suckers.  Chances are that she’s been draining you for a lot longer and in worse ways than you realize.  People like that are really good at manipulating situations so that they can be the center of your attention and concern.  I had one of those friends once, and it took our break-up for me to see how much her tantrums and selfishness had truly interfered with my ability to live my own, independent, healthy life where I could hear my own voice above hers.

You’ll get through these sad break-up feelings soon enough.  Then I’d be willing to bet that you’ll feel a huge sense of relief at being in full control of your own life again.

Post # 10
Member
595 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2015

It takes a while to get over. I’m still not 100% over a friend break up from almost 2 years ago! It hurts, it sucks, but when you make new friends you’ll see why you’re better off.

Post # 11
Member
1800 posts
Buzzing bee

Ive been friends with one of my “bffs” or so she refers to herself as. But our friendship has slllowllly been crumbling over the past 2 years or so, so trust me, I feel your pain. And I know this sounds cocky, but our relationship ending is ALL on her fault, but thats another story. I know when I actually get engaged that she will not be the MOH–my bff Laura will be(who has never hurt me in a 16 year friendship) or a BM at all. I know it just wont be worth it.

Its about to be a breakup, but just think of the amazing FI you have, and your TRUE friends who support you no matter what.

Youre not alone, everyone has a friendship end that means something to them, but you will get over it sooner than later.

Post # 14
Member
204 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

@SunshineLovin:  It sounds like you have the right attitude and priorities in this situation and for your wedding.  I think you are right not to contact her or respond to her.  There’s nothing you can say that will appease her right now, and you’re done trying to do that anyway, right? Just let her go.  I think you are really going to like being a superhero instead of her sidekick. 

You deserve to be happy.  It’s really for the best that she dropped out of your life while you still have nearly a year to enjoy your engagement and wedding planning.  Think of how much drama and negativity you’ve escaped and be glad.

Post # 15
Member
570 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

These can really feel like a breakup! When someone is a part of your life for so long, and has been there for you to call/text/go out with/whine to, it can seem like a chunk of your life is missing when your friendship ends. I agree with PP, that she has probably been more of a drain on your life than a supplement. Weddings bring out the worst and best in people because of the stress and the sheer number of sensitive decisions that need to be made, and I think that you should consider yourself lucky that 1. you never asked her to be in the wedding and that 2. your fiance convinced you to give her some more time… had you cut her out back then, you probably always would have wondered if you’d made the right decision. Now you know for sure that she is too self centered to ever be a true friend to you…

 

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