- 4 years ago
- Wedding: July 2012
One of my bff (we’ll call her Kelly and him Jeff) got married fresh out of high school 7 years ago today actually. High school sweehearts. Love them both. I was a BM in her wedding. In 2007 she gave birth to my godson (she has since had a little girl 2 years ago).
In 2009 she came to visit me and told me she was cheating on Jeff. She worked 75 miles away from where she lived with Jeff, so she said that she was spending more time with people at work rather than her husband at home. The affair continued for quite some time. She even had a MC from her bf. I tried to stay out of, BUT she did invite me out for Halloween, and I agreed to go meet this guy. He was really nice, and I did like him (I hung out with them a few times after that) but I talked to her about how it wasn’t fair for Jeff to be in a marriage where Kelly was cheating on him. She was so scared and didn’t want to lose her husband or man on the side.
This went on for over a year. I went to my brother’s graduation from USMC in CA in 2010, and I get this phone call from Jeff. I was also getting texts from the man on the side and trying to talk to Jeff, who chastised me for not telling him about Kelly cheating and allowing Kelly to stay with me. I told him she never once stayed with me. Apparently she lied and told Jeff she stayed with me when she was really seeing her bf. Finally I blew up on everyone and told them I was at my brother’s graduation from boot camp and to pretty much leave me alone. I don’t want to be involved in this shit. I am a low drama person. I told Jeff this wasn’t my info to tell. Kelly is my bff. I can’t do that.
In the end she broke it off with her bf, and Jeff forgave her. I was honest with Kelly and told her if I was Jeff I wouldn’t have. I would have kicked her ass to the curb. She agreed and said that she’d never do this again because she felt bad and didn’t like sneaking around. She was so relieved that Jeff took her back. As I said they mended their marriage and even had a little girl.
I haven’t talked to her since my July wedding because we’ve both been busy. Apparently she has been a bit more busy that I have. She texts me two weeks ago and says she needs a friend to talk to. I asked what was up. She said things with her and Jeff have gotten worse. Heaving a huge sigh, I text her back because I knew. She cheated-AGAIN. She has been in a relationship with a guy since February.
I am sick. I said, “You did this again?” She’s like, “Yeah. I don’t know what is wrong with me.” I said, “You need to divorce Jeff. He doesn’t deserve this for a second time. I think you just got married too young and didn’t get to experience everything you should have in college.” She agreed and said she feels like she missed out on dating and obviously did it again because she is genuinely unhappy in her marriage and needs to get out, but she also hasn’t done ANYTHING about it. I am starting to think she doesn’t give a shit. Why Jeff doesn’t kick her to the curb I don’t know. Kelly claims he knows. So Kelly is going to Vegas in July with this new guy, and she told Jeff she is going but didn’t tell him with who. He is really pissed.
I love this girl, but good grief. I didn’t offer her to stay at my place if Jeff kicks her out (which I think she was fishing for) because I am married now. I am HAPPILY married. I also told her I am NOT meeting this guy until she starts a divorce. I am not having a situation like last time. I also told her that if she wants to continue to lie to Jeff, that is on her, but she can NOT involve me like last time and say she was staying at my house when she was really with her bf.
I guess I am not really looking for any advice but more so had to vent. I am disgusted with her on why this could happen a second time. I’m thinking I need to cut off contact with her or cut down as much as possible because it is really stressful. I know I should be a good friend but what advice could I possibly give her that I haven’t already? I don’t believe in cheating, I believe in a good solid marriage, which I have, so I can’t relate to her. I don’t know how to help her even if I wanted to. Plus I just don’t want to be put into a compromising situation.