- 4 years ago
- Wedding: January 2013
I dont know how to help her. I have listened to her and tried to give her advice that you all would give.
Back story. He is a soldier which makes it worse because Adultery in the military is illegal and he is cheating on her with another soldier. The woman had the audacity to post a pic on his facebook of them together from some years ago with the caption, “Remember When.”
My BFF is a superb woman. She has helped raise his daughter from his first marriage even going so far as to drive across the country pregnant to pick her up to make sure she could see her dad when he came in for leave while being deployed. While he was deployed the first time she gave birth to a son and then on his last deployment she gave birth to a daughter.
My BFF went home to her family during his last deployment so she could be with her family when the baby came. Well now he has told her that she cant come back to their house until she has a job. Mind you she worked full time while pregnant plus raising his daughter from his first marriage. He is being a total douche. She called me last night to tell me that she wanted to take the kids back so they could be a family and he told her that she cant come home til she gets a job. She is a nurse and tried to get her old job back but they arent hiring.
I think he doesnt want her to come home so he can run around with this other woman. Worse while he was deployed he had several emotional affairs.
She is devastated. She feels like because she gained weight and she has two babies she wont be able to find someone else.
I didnt say it to her but I would rather be alone than be with someone who disrespected me like that and made me so miserable.
He refuses to take her calls, he doesnt ask how his kids are doing and she still loves him. He used to complain that he couldnt find a woman who could put up with him being away on deployments and now he has a woman who adores him and he treats her like shit.
My DH and I have both welcomed them into my home but he makes me truly sick. If her marriage can be saved then I hope so because it would make their family happy but at the same time I want to go kick the living shit out of him for hurting such a wonderful person.
When I say wonderful I do mean truly wonderful. She is an amazing mother to their children plus his daughter from his first marriage, she works tirelessly as a nurse in the pediatric operating wing of the hospital. She talks with families about surgery and if she loses a patient its like losing one of her own children.
While he has deployed she keeps a neat house, she doesnt go out and party, she worries constantly for his safety all the while sending care packages and documenting every moment of her kids life to share with him.
Why oh why are men so stupid. Why would he be so stupid as to throw away such a wonderful person.
I have tried to support her and told her that whatever she does I will be her friend.