(Closed) Bible verse saying I need to be married in a Church

posted 7 years ago in Catholic
Post # 3
Member
685 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2009

 What I personally think will happen is you will get people who agree with your mother and will find some verse and twist it to fit her belief that you must get married in a church for it to be “legit” by God. I am not Catholic but and Evanglic Christian. So I don’t want to say that I don’t agree with your mother or believe you. I just think the bible can be interppreted in many different ways.

 The jist: Anyone can take almost anything from the bible and make it what they want. You believe that you don’t have to be married in a church and thats awesome. Just do what you believe. I really don’t think that there is a verse that specifically says “You must get married in a church for God to bless your marriage”. Good Luck and do what you wish!!! =)

Post # 4
Member
5658 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 2012

I don’t know of any verses that say you must get married in a church for it to be a real marriage, but I know of plenty of verses that say God is everywhere and that He is always with us.

Post # 5
Member
104 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

A majority of Canon Law was formed in the Medieval Period. I would take them with a grain of salt when using them in modern times. Please not that  there was often politcal and economic gain involved with the birth of the marriage laws in the Catholic Church. I am not bashing the Church in anyway, but feel that you should be informed and possibly look into the formation of said laws. Also, you could also argue that the Bible accepts polygamy since so many prophets in the Old Testment were practitioners as well as various other things frowned upon in today’s society.

Post # 6
Member
1309 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

Current canon law was written during the 1980s. Not the medieval period at all.

There is no bible verse that says you “have to get married in the church” but it does speak about the sanctity of the Temple and the church and if you are going to do something before God, why not do it in His house?

 

Post # 7
Member
2867 posts
Sugar bee

Do you want your marriage recognized by the Catholic Church?  Do you want to partake in the Sacrament of Marriage?

If Yes is your answer, you must be married within the Catholic Church.  There are a couple of reasons why they do this.  Mass (including both types of Marriage ceremonies) should take place within a church (unless a Bishop gives permission for it elsewhere–rare).  Secondly, in order for the Church to recognize your vows are valid, they must be performed alongside a priest and witnessd by God in His Church.  Before these rules, a lot of people were getting annulments easily because they said their vows weren’t valid since they were supposedly married to other people.  No way to refute that when there weren’t rules. This proved too difficult for the Church to handle so it’s best that a Priest oversee these vows in God’s Temple as Magdalena stated.

If No, then tell your mother you don’t want to.  As an adult, you should make that decision.  If she’s contributing monetarily, then you’ll have to negotiate.

By being outside the Church, you’re separating from Her and will not be in good standing.  You’ll be living in sin (old school term) until your marriage is convalidated.  You should not receive until it is convalidated.

Post # 8
Member
3871 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I agree with @beekiss2:

Post # 9
Member
1025 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

@MissFlipFlops: Catholics don’t believe that “you have to be married in a church for it to be considered ‘legit’ by God.” For instance, if two evangelical Christians decide to get married outside, the Catholic Church would believe that it is a legitimate marriage and that God is present in it.

The difference is that Catholics believe that marriage is a sacrament, where as most Protestant religions do not. That sacrament must be performed in a Church, the House of God. Also, it should be performed by people who also believe it to be a sacrament – ie, a Priest or Deacon.

@Misslizzy: For one, God will never turn his back on you! 

Also, I don’t there is a Bible verse that specifically points to this. “Churches” as we think of them today weren’t around when the New Testament was written, and they didn’t spend a lot of time writing about weddings either. This is more in the Tradition side of Catholic teaching. 

I had a Catholic wedding in a Church and it was wonderful. I really couldn’t imagine it any other way. I think some questions to ask yourself would be:

Why don’t I want to get married in a church?

What is appealing about the other locations I am thinking about?

Am I hurting one side of the family by refusing a Catholic wedding (or vice versa)?

Do I want to receive the sacrament of marriage?

Here is a good explanation of the “why”: http://masscatholicmarriage.org/assets/homileticsbulletininserts/more_than_a_wedding.pdf

Also, here is what the Catechism says about the Sacrament of Marriage: http://www.usccb.org/catechism/text/pt2sect2chpt3art7.shtml

I don’t know much about your situation, but there are circumstances where you can receive dispensations from the normal rite of marriage.

Post # 10
Member
77 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

You should probably have a conversation with your mother and just explain to her what you want to do – then just do what makes you happy – if getting married outside of the church makes you and your future husband just do it –

Post # 11
Member
166 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I am a “previous” catholic marrying a catholic and have had many discussions on this very topic.

It’s really all in what you believe: you won’t find a verse in the bible that says you have to get married in a church.

I’ve read the bible front to back many times, and I’m an extreamly spiritual person which is why I decided to leave the Catholic religion: there are way too many discrepencies betweent the two. I live my life following the rules and guidance of the bible- not of what a man made religion tells me to do.

I’m being married by a CHRISTIAN minister in a hotel…My fiances family tells me all the time that if I don’t get married in a church that my marriage won’t be recognized by God and I constantly have to correct them that it may not be legit in the eyes of their church but it will be legit in God’s eyes.

God lives in your heart and having a relationship with the lord is far more important than having a “religion”.

I’ll pray for anyone who is judgemental of your marriage and it’s validity/blessed-ness.

Post # 12
Member
562 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

I 100% agree with Miss CuppyCake!

Post # 13
Member
2116 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

I’m Catholic and getting married at a garden. I’m going to get my wedding bessed at a later date.

Post # 14
Member
344 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

MissLizzy,

The rule to marry in the Church is one of the precepts of the Church.  This deals with the overall authority of the Catholic Church, their sacramental authority and overall the very core of what it means to be a Catholic. 

Overall, this has nothing to do with whether or not its objectively immoral to marry in whatever setting you want.  This deals ultimately with submitting to the God-given authority of the Catholic Church to set up norms for the rite of marriage.

Much of the norms deal with affirming the sacramental nature of the institution of marriage, as well as affirming the value that we don’t marry in a vaccuum, but are rather a part of a parish family and have that parish family to support us in our new life of marriage.  It is to affirm that the Mass and the Sacraments are to be at the very heart of our lives as Catholics, the very center and that we should be striving to remain actively involved in our parishes.  We get married in our parish churches for the same reason we invite our family to our wedding. 

I seriously would not get into a bible quote war since you’re really arguing this from the wrong end with your mom.  Your questioning the authority of the Church to take on its role and leaning solely on the authority of the bible.  That’s like questioning the authority of certain books from the bible, not acknowledging that your issue is with that, and then trying to form an argument based on your personal interpretation of only those select books you want to put your religious assent to.  My point is not to sound offensive, but to clarify that you and your mom will be arguing in circles around each other.

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