- 6 years ago
- Wedding: October 2012
I’ve been MIA lately. Unfortuantely, life has thrown me so many curve balls that I’ve only been focusing on my relationship, job, and sleep.
I hate to only sign on to write “emotional” posts, but I honestly have no one to turn to. FI can only deal with me so much. He’s been telling me to relax and quit being so negative. It’s not that I’m being negative about our situations. It’s just that it’s a lot to deal with and I’m feeling extremely overwhelmed.
For an update on a current issue:
FI and I were kicked out of his parent’s house last week. The week before we got some devastating news that he didn’t get the job we thought he had in the bag. The employer made it sound like it was his job. The way the letter was worded and everything. FI never got a call back. That was pretty devastating to begin with so you can imagine how it felt to be kicked out.
Now before people assume – it wasn’t both of his parents to do so. His parents have been fighting an awful lot. His father has some emotional/mental/behavioral problems and refuses to take medinces for it. His medicine is “pot”. Fine by me, but he acts like the BIGGEST baby when he runs out. He has the mentality of a teenager. Seriously. He will stomp around the house, slam doors, and give the look of death. There’s a hell of a lot more to the story, but I would be here all night. Anyways, his parents got into a big blow up last week. It became physical. His mother left. FI was at school. I was at work. When FI got home, his dad swung the door open and told him to pack our shit and get the fuck out. Few things happened in between FI packing so FI called cops to ensure safety. Cops questioned both FI and his father. FI told cops that he has no idea what happened – he came home and was told to leave. FI’s dad told cops that FI is a pill popper and strung out on drugs. COMPLETE LIE!!!!! FI has NEVER done drugs. EVER. He’s so against them that it’s unreal. Needless to say, FI packed our things and refuses to talk to his father ever again.
We are currently staying with FI’s grandparents. His mother is here as well. FI and I sat down with his mother and we talked about getting our own place. Which we did. We were approved for an apartment this afternoon and we are moving November 1st. Fantastic. I’m absolutely ecstatic. Granted, it’s going to be tough because FI is still unemployed, but will be able to make money doing side jobs (plumbing).
What’s got me so worked up though? All of these big changes. Spending money. Losing money. The fact that everything I saved up for the wedding will be gone because of our sudden move. Everything happened so unexpectedly and fast. My head is literally spinning. I’m having random anxiety attacks. I’m feeling completely overwhelmed. It doesn’t help that I feel absolutely alone. My family knows my situation but no one has checked in with me – except my grandmother. Supposed friends included. Haven’t heard anything. Maybe I’m taking things too personally, but I’m also that type of person that ALWAYS checks in with those I love and care about. I guess I didn’t think it was that hard to do either. I don’t live near them either.
I feel like I’m burdening FI with everything. I have withdrawn myself completely now. I feel like my duty on earth right now is just to work hard, sleep, and provide for our future.
Sigh. Sorry that was so long, jumbled, and random. My thoughts are completely scattered.