(Closed) DH is leaving for a year

posted 5 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
5479 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

I’m sorry you guys will be apart for so long πŸ™  I spent nearly 8 years in the Army, and it was definitely difficult to be away for long periods at a time.  BUT! we weren’t paid nearly the amount our civilian counterparts were paid, and on the very rare occasion a civilian (usually a US AID, UNICEF, Civil Engineer, or Dept of State official) needed to leave the safety of a base, an entire infantry squad was assigned to organize, plan, and execute a mission- with the number one priority being the safety of the civilian, and the number two priority being successful completion of the civilian’s mission.

I was a medic, and at least in my platoon NO squad ever left the base without a medic, whether it was on foot or in a vehicle.  I recall more than one mission where the DoState guy wanted to go check on the progress of a school/well/building/road/whatever and we encountered hostility and turned the convoy around and went straight back to base without getting to the site. 

I have no idea what your husband does, and it’s entirely likely that he’ll never even set foot outside of a main air base.  Lucky him πŸ™‚  I was at a small remote compound about an hour from the nearest air base, so we had no store to buy shampoo, we had 4 computers & two phones for over 100 soldiers, we had no recreation facilities, and there were days (sometimes weeks!) with no running water, no way to do laundry, no hot food to eat.  I have every confidence that your husband’s living conditions will be far, far better than anything I dealt with.

Post # 4
Member
59 posts
Worker bee

I’m giong through the EXACT same thing right now. Sorry you’re sad :*-( it’s a long time, but you have to think of what it means for you guys down the line. Debt being paid off is a HUGE deal. I’ve been trying to talk myself off this ledge for about 2 weeks, so i totally get it…hugs.

Post # 5
Member
11327 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2011

Wow, what a crazy situation! Sounds like it will be really hard, but on the other hand he has a great reason for doing it and it seems like it is going to be the best thing for your future. 

I don’t really have any good advice. Sounds like you know what to do: hang with family and friends, get a hobby, and count the days!

Post # 6
Member
5479 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

OH!  I completely forgot to mention care packages!  We relied on those things for toiletries, but he may have access to a PX (store) to pick up things.  We liked things like baby wipes, hand sanitizer, tissues (just trust me on the ‘dust boogies’, don’t ask), lotion, DVDs, books, magazines, local newspapers, games, and SNACKS!!!  Girl scout cookies were a precious commodity!  Jerky, granola bars, and anything small, single serving, nonperishable, and portable πŸ™‚ 

Post # 8
Member
5479 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

@Miss Sorbet:  You bet lady, and feel free to PM me anytime if you need any ideas or if you just need to vent.  I spent my time in southern A-stan so depending on where he ends up (and if he’s allowed to tell you!) I may or may not be familiar with region-specific climate and hostility.  Thoughts & prayers for safe travels πŸ™‚

Post # 9
Member
1370 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

Oh, dear. I’m sorry! My husband is military and been to Afghanistan so I can relate. If you have any questions you think I can answer or you just want to talk you’re more than welcome to PM me.

You’re going to find out just what sort of strength you have within yourself. Some other military wives have called going through a deployment empowering. On the other hand, it’s just so, so scary. There’s no way around it, but you get used to it in time. The worst part for me is anticipating him leaving. It’s just an awful feeling. That, along with the first couple days he’s gone is nearly always the worst part. Then you develop a routine and you figure out how to get through the days, weeks, months etc. 

Something you may want to read through is the 7 emotional stages of deployment. It’s geared for mil-spouses but your situation is close enough that I’m sure you’ll find it useful.

Good luck, lady!

Post # 10
Member
1686 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

You’ll do fine. Time to start planning for that house. 

Time consuming hobbies:

exercise

knitting (this can also be social πŸ™‚

furniture refinishing (I am currently sanding down all our kitchen chairs… just got a paint sprayer too. πŸ™‚ 

Post # 12
Member
1370 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

@Miss Sorbet:  Oh my goodness don’t feel guilty! My husband stayed on the FOB 95% of the time, but they were still getting RPGs and the risk of bombers/attacks at the base by Afghani civillians is still very much a possibility. Even flying in/out can be dangerous and that’s something that everyone has to do. I don’t mean to scare you telling you this, but it’s the reality of the situation for everyone, civillian and military alike. Please don’t feel guilty. It’s scary as all hell.

Post # 13
Member
998 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

If you don’t mind me asking, which agency? I work for an angency under the DoD as well and we get job opportunities to go work over in Afghanistan CONSTANTLY. I haven’t bit the bullet and applied, but man the money potential is really nice!

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