- 5 years ago
My fiancé comes from a family of big money. He could easily retire today and continue to live very well for the rest of his life, but he has a strong work ethic and he cares about his company and employees. I actually did not know that he was so well off into a few dates in, when he started to realize that I would like him just the same if he was wealthy or poor. His family is understandably protective, as they have seen their children many times be used for their money. It took a long time to earn their trust but we eventually became close. We were together for a year when he told them that I refused to let him tell me what he is worth because it did not matter and even though I only make 40k a year, I hardly ever let him pay for my meal or ticket or whatever. I really only let him break this rule if I am his date to an expensive political or charity event that is way out of my price range. And it’s not because I was trying to prove a point, it’s the way I would act with anyone.
Anyways, he recently proposed. I said yes. Last weekend he was at my apartment using my laptop to check something. He was trying to look for a different document when he found a project called dream wedding. Basically, this is was from a course I took in college (my computer is that old), I was in a business event management course, and we had to put together a 100k-150k event with the entire budget and event planned. I decided to do my pipedream wedding, very unrealistic for the average couple, and very extravagant. I would never think of asking someone to spend this kind of money on me for a wedding, and he knows that I would never come to him with this plan. Obviously, just like any girl, I would love my big fancy dream wedding, but I don’t feel right doing that when really, we could buy a family in need a house for that kind of money.
Any ways, he made a copy of it and emailed it to himself. He met with a wedding planner, and decided to surprise me with the plan to make this wedding a reality. I don’t want to sound ungrateful, I’m the luckiest girl in the world to have this amazing guy who would do this for me. I tried to tell him that but he thought that I was just worried about looking like I was taking advantage of the money. With the very best of intentions he told his parents that it was his idea to try to put together this dream wedding so they wouldn’t think it was me. Now they think he is just trying to protect me and things have gotten very rocky. I’ve told him a half dozen more times that I don’t want anything fancy but he says “For once, let someone else spoil you and take care of you. You deserve to have one big day.”
Again, I don’t want to sound ungrateful. I understand how many people would love to have more money in their budget. I realistically, always thought I would be a bride budgeting everything to the last cent. But honest to God, I wouldn’t care if we just went down to town hall in jeans. I love him. All I want is to wake up next to him happy and healthy every day.
We’ve never had this much trouble communicating before and we’ve had plenty of challenges. I feel like he’s losing his mind trying to spoil me while I’m losing mine trying to convince him that that’s not what I want. It’s like he suddenly doesn’t understand who I am. I feel sl confused Help? Please?
**Please, no rude comments about 1st world problems. Again, I am so grateful to have a world of resources at my hands. I grew up in a very poor family, I lost both of my parents befire I turned 19, I understand hunger, and helping others is where my heart is. I really can’t justify spending that much money on a one night party that doesn’t help a cause. **