- 5 years ago
- Wedding: June 2014
Okay, so this is something I really need to write about. My birthday this year was SUCH a let down. This may make me seem like a spoiled brat, but truly I was disappointed with how the day went down. So I have a wonderful boyfriend, whom I love dearly. The yin to my yang, the cream in my coffee and all that sugary sweet crap. Really, he’s very good to me, he adores my children, he is very respectful of my family, and he’s cute to boot. But God bless him, sometimes he just does not THINK.
We had a great Valentines Day together (this was our first V Day.) He took me out to a beautiful dinner, seriously the most amazing food ever. He gave me a sweet card (my exhusband never gave cards for any occasion, so this was huge for me.) Then he surprised me with a gorgeous watch. Really gorgeous. Pink face, swarovski crystals, so ME! Right then and there I thought, I got myself a good gift giver! Not that I’m a materialistic girl AT ALL. I have just never been with a guy who could nail it with the gifts. As he was putting the watch on my wrist, he said “The next present I get you I will be putting on your finger Ange.” WHAT?! “Really??” I said to him. “Yes Ange, I love you and your the one.” Wow. I felt exactly the same way about him so I was over the moon at the prospect of getting engaged at the next gift giving opportunity, which was….my birthday, just two months away. So giddy giddy.
As my birthday approached though, I began to wonder if he really was planning on giving me a ring. We did look online a little bit and I showed him a few styles that I liked. If I can figure out how to put a pic in here, I can post my dream ring. It is NOT an expensive ring either. Then, just one week before my birthday, he sent me a text. “I picked your ring. I really think your going to love it.” Okay, maybe he really is going to do this! He had said he wanted to wait until my family was here (they are from out of state) to propose and it just so happened they were staying with us that week. So we decided to have my big birthday the night before my actual birthday because he had to work on the day. He is a chef so he asked me what I wanted for my big dinner. I told him I was craving my favorite, seafood chowder. My sister, being a vegetarian, had also asked him to show her how to make eggplant parm. So he accepted the task of cooking all that food for 8 adults. Pretty impressive. So I came home from work to find him busily cooking away in the kitchen…only no seafood chowder. “Oh babe, I decided to make puttanesca instead, it goes better with the eggplant.” Um, okay. I’m not a huge puttanesca fan, but hey I appreciated the effort. Dinner was great, I blew out the candles on the red velvet cake my mom made and then it was present/card time.
In my family, we don’t really do gifts, but my parents always always ALWAYS get us gifts. I opened the gift from them and the gifts from the kids (but really from them!) My grandparents gave me some flowers, and I opened cards from all my siblings. Nothing from the BF. No big deal, I thought. Maybe he’s saving it for my real birthday and really I wouldn’t want him to propose in front of all these people anyway. That night as he was putting Ethan to bed, I heard him say to him “We got a birthday surprise for Mom in the morning, you have to help me with my mission!” Hmmm, maybe he’s planning something in the morning then? Involving the kids? Still hopeful. So the next morning comes and he gets up with the kids before me. I came downstairs to be greeted by my birthday surprise…pancakes. I actually dug around through my pancakes to make sure there wasn’t a ring in them. Guess what? There wasn’t. Wah. Off to work I went. At least my job remembered my birthday and gave me two movie passes and a lovely card. My boss even made a little sign with an owl on it (LOVE LOVE LOVE owls) that said happy birthday and stuck it to my computer. I was feeling a little deflated, but hey, maybe he was planning to do something when he got home from work later, which wouldn’t be until 10pm. I got a “Hope your having a great birthday!” text from him during the day but that was it. I came home, fed the kids dinner, gave them a bath and put them to bed. I got myself in my PJ’s and am now starting to get upset. I just could not picture him proposing after a long day at work, me in bed in my PJ’s. So now I’m thinking I am NOT in fact getting a proposal; additionally, he hadn’t even gotten me any type of gift. Sidenote, just a few weeks ago, we discussed birthdays. He stated that birthdays are a big deal and one should be treated like a king/queen on their birthday because its their one special day. So I guess I at least expected some kind of gift, if not the ring that he told me I would be getting on Valentines Day. Finally, he came home, right before 10. He asked how my day was. I said fine. He said “Would these help?” and handed me some grocery store afterthought roses. I was crushed. More angry than crushed actually. I said “Thank you,” got up and left the room.
I asked my mom (who was still staying with us) to come with me to go get a quick night cap. I told her the whole thing and how upset I was. My mom wasn’t terribly surprised because BF openly talks about marrying me, and marrying me soon, as in this summer. I have never been the one to bring it up, its always him. I finally told him a few weeks ago that I wasn’t going to do any wedding talk until we were actually, ya know, engaged? Oh moms. What would I do without mine? She encouraged me to talk to BF about my feelings and let him know how hurt I felt. I went to bed giving the cold shoulder. I know its childish and immature, but at the time I was far too hurt to even begin having an adult rational conversation. I promise you, I am not a person who is gift grabby and with me, its totally the thought that counts. I do appreciate his cooking dinner and making the pancakes. But for a person who stated how big a deal birthdays are, I cannot but help feel hurt that he didn’t even get me a gift, nevermind the fact that he implied that he’d be proposing. I just hope I can get over this soon.
so if you made it this far, please give me tips on how to gtfo this. I know he has or will have a ring and wants to marry me, but its starting to feel like a game and its killing me.